Re: What to do about Grandma
Mamaof3 dont take this the wrong way but i think ur mum sounds quite bitter abt everything. I mean u guys all moved out and for a big part of her life u were all her focus. Then u all found ur own way in life and she probably didnt like that fact that u all became independant esp if she wasnt working-was she working while u were growing up-if she didnt work then she didnt really have anything for herself. Her kids got married and settled down and carried on woith their lives whereas it kinda sounds to me ur mum got a bit lost in that sense-she didnt know what to do with her time once u all left. But she still had ur dad so it took some of the pressure off. But now ur dad has passed away she probably feels very alone and that she has nothing left going on in her life-does that make any sense to u? Esp if she sees u all getting on with ur own lives-as ur bound to when u have kids-i think that ends up causing some sort of bitterness.
I mean when my dad passed away, it was hard for all of us but esp my mum as they'd been married for over 40 yrs and i know she felt quite lost in the sense that she didnt know how she'd deal with life without my dad but now 2 yrs on shes so much better.
I think ur mum needs time to deal with the grief that shes feeling-and i think shes just venting out at ur son-which is totally unacceptable. I agree with SGC, even if the discussion is uncomfortable-it has to b made clear that ur not gonna stand for ur son being "bullied" cos thats effectively what it is and its not right or fair.
Mayb she need to talk thru her grief and stuff with a bereavement counsellor-sometimes that can help and other underlying issues can come out with that as well. I hope u havnt taken offence to what ive said-i can only comment on what i read and it seems to me like ur mum feels quite bitter at the whole world.