What stops a Man from Approaching a Pretty Woman?

[uzair1]

Re: What stops a Man from Approaching a Pretty Woman?

**First stage: **Preoccupied in the fantasy world of the "what if" hindering the act of approaching in the real world.

**Second stage: **Stupidity - Emotional imbalances cloud judgement

**Third stage: **Blindness - An inability to recognise positive signs or evaluate the method to optimise mutual interest

**Fourth stage: **Confusion - Thoughts running wild, panic - which leads to the realisation that things may not go according to plan

**Fifth stage: **Courage to act - A focus develops

**Sixth stage: **Conscience and Moral brickwalling - religious values

**Seventh stage: **Risk Analysis - Could get hit, could get taken as a perv and ruin future chances

The basic reason is that men lose control of their irascible selves and the ability to reason falls. If a man wishes to approach a woman and optimise his chances to gain interest he needs to:

a) Calm right down and get out of that fantasy b) Work out how to move closer in to the social circle of the particular individual c) Create a context to speak and retain control d) Use courage, wit and assessment to gauge the situation to determine the next steps

The simple answer is "his own stupidity gets the better of him"

Sir, I would resist the urge to dissect your reply and point out the problems and fallacies with it. instead i would just ask you a simple question......what inadequacy is this guy trying to make up for ?
others who have 'liked' your reply are also welcome to ponder over this conundrum.

[Nisha25]

Re: What stops a Man from Approaching a Pretty Woman?

@uzair1

its not surprising that a woman has asked this question.
women are scared ****less of rejection. they have huge egos in this regard and they like to blame it on ‘culture’…yesh, “its the culture that stops women from approaching men”. and oh yes “men just like the chase”. obviously its going to be women to tell us what we like. women dont want us to realize that the grass is greener on the other side, they dont want us to know how it feels like to be chased, pursued and be in a position to choose and brush someone off; to have someone else make all the effort. they dont want us to know what it does to your ego to be given that kind of attention every now and then… we are just supposed to “like the chase”. any man who is frequently approached by women and attracts them effortlessly (like most women attract men) knows what Im talking about. most women like to believe that men are devoid of any feelings and have a better ability of dealing with rejection. thiouey expect some elusive level of confidence in men and its expected of a man to just go upto a woman and strike a conversation.

ofcourse we men are absolutely under no obligation to do any of this. all im saying is that its more than effin culture at work. whats really going on seems to be beyond the capacity of the commonplace minds here, to understan

you make some excellent points, what if the woman shows interest though, you can tell from her eyes or expression that she also returns that attraction, like M_was_here’s situation where both knew that they liked each other, at that point wouldn’t it be more chivalrous of the man to make the first move. i don’t think a woman would have the guts to go up to the guy, the sweaty palms and nervousness in there in women too so at that point couldn’t a man take control of the situation once in awhile. if a desi guy is good looking, they’re arrogant beyond belief…well most are.

if the woman makes the first move, there is always the chance that the man will end up being a jerk and a wolf in sheep’s clothing, she takes a huge risk and puts herself in a very vulnerable position.

what’s wrong with doing it the old fashioned way, you know how our grandpas did it if they had a ‘love’ marriage

uzair, look at the cute kitty and back away from the anger

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[uzair1]

Re: What stops a Man from Approaching a Pretty Woman?

you make some excellent points, what if the woman shows interest though, you can tell from her eyes or expression that she also returns that attraction, like M_was_here's situation where both knew that they liked each other, at that point wouldn't it be more chivalrous of the man to make the first move. i don't think a woman would have the guts to go up to the guy, the sweaty palms and nervousness in there in women too so at that point couldn't a man take control of the situation once in awhile. if a desi guy is good looking, they're arrogant beyond belief....well most are.

if the woman makes the first move, there is always the chance that the man will end up being a jerk and a wolf in sheep's clothing, she takes a huge risk and puts herself a very vulnerable position.

what's wrong with doing it the old fashioned way, you know how our grandpas did it if they had a 'love' marriage

uzair, look at the cute kitty and back away from the anger :p

dear, approaching someone is not just "walking up to someone and start talking" that is called 'breaking the ice' and its ok if norms require men to do that. attraction on the other hand is effortless. now listen carefully.....when a woman is attracted to a man she will make it very easy for him to 'break that ice'...so easy that he will just know that he can do no wrong and say no wrong and everything will just fall in order...that he wont need an effin pick up line or a reason to talk to her...that he wont need 'social intelligence' or to create a context (like Psyah referred to) before her can approach her.

now it just so happens that in the life of a common man avg/ok/reasonable looking man...that the number of times women show interest in him can be counted on finger tips... ie, if he is lucky. but an average woman still gets a lot of men interested in her during her lifetime.

so you know when people tell men who are failures at dating and picking up women, that the reason is their lack of confidence and social skills, bcos CULTURE requires men to approach. that is bull**** because when a woman is attracted to you and is interested in you she wouldnt care if you walk up to her and make a mess out of yourself. if he does that she will think its cute. she will automatically give the guy confidence.

now let me ask you a question. how come you 'like'** Psyah*'s "scientific approach" and agree with **Xtron* at the same time ?
dont tell me you dont see the contradiction there.

[psyah]

Re: What stops a Man from Approaching a Pretty Woman?

@uzair1

Sir, I would resist the urge to dissect your reply and point out the problems and fallacies with it. instead i would just ask you a simple question…what inadequacy is this guy trying to make up for ?
others who have ‘liked’ your reply are also welcome to ponder over this conundrum.

Peace uzair1

Welcome to Gupshup … My post is my post … it is not concrete and there will be exceptions that break the general statements. I tried my hand at a bit of introspection. The response is a personal perspective … cast on others … The gist of my argument is that the heightened situation creates an emotional peak that interferes with our ability to reason out how to approach the issue.

When a person is totally infatuated then they are willing to look silly and dumb and that may annoy the other party for a while but then they might start to like the attention. It is a risk worth taking for the sort of Majnoo when he sought Layla or the sort of Romeo where he would sacrifice family and honour … someone like Casanova used his looks, charm and praises to win ladies even when they knew he had many other ladies on the side - in fact that is what intrigued them - confusingly.

But you see it depends what a woman wants as well - a bit of dangerous love or a long term marriage thing that determines how she will react.

In fact there is a lot to learn from (however much I hate the stuff) American teen dramas … they focus on different angles of the same problem.

The Wonder Years … has lots of scenarios

here are two:

[NaMaan]

Re: What stops a Man from Approaching a Pretty Woman?

Nothing . All the butterflies , strategy , and sweat . Its actually quite thrilling . You should try it sometime

Good old days . . . blah

[psyah]

Re: What stops a Man from Approaching a Pretty Woman?

Peace uzair1

Here is another situation where despite clear signals are made by the girl the boy almost jeopardises his chances by confirming and reconfirming.

[Orpheus]

Re: What stops a Man from Approaching a Pretty Woman?

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