The less you share with people, the better, IMO. Other than perhaps a spouse, a parent, a very close friend, the topics of conversation should stay away from personal stuff. There's just simply too much room for misinterpretation, gossip and general obnoxiousness to ensue once you reveal personal details.
On the other hand, it's tough to always watch what comes out of your mouth. I'm pretty open and honest. I don't spill each and every detail of my life, but if you really like my shoes and want a pair like them, I'll tell you where I got them and where to find the discount code so you can get them at reduced price. Though I am by no means poor, I simply couldn't afford the bells and whistles that go along with desi weddings and I was fine with mine being a simpler affair. Has this earned snide comments and gossip? I'm sure it has. Do I care? Not much. Because the people who spend their time discussing MY life and its shortfalls really need to get a life of their own...and that's to be pitied.
So nadz...I'd either stop talking about it, or develop a thicker skin. Even better, find a fine balance between the two because weighing everything before you say it (though commendable) isn't always easy and telling someone to develop a thick skin is way easier said than done. Sticks and stones will break our bones, but words will break out hearts.
The Grant is** FOR EVERYONE WHOSE PREG**, and is a uk cit and atleast 25 weeks...., please get all information before posting.
Okay then. Even if it is for everyone......you know how our culture can be......why even bring it up (regardless of the fact that it's available to every prego woman)? What bothers these women is the speed at which you went to get the grant, right? Don't turn every issue into a battle. Make your life easy. Calmly put people in their place....simply tell them the facts "The grant is for every pregnant woman and there is not restriction on when you can come pick it up. Why put off for tomorrow what you can do today. I choose not to procrastinate, Aunti Ji."
i mentioned it because everyone was talking about it, thats why, and alot of them didnt even know they could get it, so i think they assumed im a know it all, and making them lookbewakoof`, thats my point ....
^So you did it with good intentions in your heart. You saw that a lot of them didn't know about something that could be advantageous to them, and you gave them the information you needed. You did a good thing and Inshallah, you'll be rewarded for it. How they choose to react to something you chose to share out of a desire to inform and help is up to them.
i mentioned it because everyone was talking about it, thats why, and alot of them didnt even know they could get it, so i think they assumed im a know it all, and making them lookbewakoof`, thats my point ....
So, wait a minute.....you're saying that the reason they tried to make you feel bad about picking up your grant is because they themselves didn't know about it.....and they had to "get you back" (so to speak) in order to compensate for their ignorance/bevaqoofi???
Um...how's the water in England?
When they start putting you down, condescendingly tell them, "You're welcome for the information" You did a good deed, you'll get rewarded as Mistral said above. Smile, move forward:)
Unfortunately, they're drinking the same kool aid everywhere. I've noticed this way too many times...where people will fish around for this type of info and then immediately put down the person who is nice enough to own up to it and describe it. I suppose it's a way of distancing themselves. Like you really need the information about unemployment but don't want it to look as if you'll actually APPLY for it because you're as rich as Bill Gates and don't need any help.
It's a sad by-product of all this image maintenance we try to do. It sucks that people go to such lengths to hide stuff that's not in the least bit shameful. I hope this is one aspect of our culture that eventually goes away because it's really tough walking the tightrope on this one.
You’re probably talking about Sure Start. I didn’t know of this one so I missed this one too even though i was in a need of money…anyway, £500 still don’t help much, just look at the prices of pushchairs, I could’ve bought a used car in that price.
i thought they had gotten rid of the sure start grant of £500
i just checked you can get it until the baby is 3 months old
but this is for low income families.
and the health grant of £190 when you go to your midwife for the 1st time you get leaflets etc and there is one which explains what this grant is and how to apply.
so even if those aunties didn't know about it before if they get pregnant they would have found out anyway :)
i thought they had gotten rid of the sure start grant of £500
i just checked you can get it until the baby is 3 months old
but this is for low income families.
and the health grant of £190 when you go to your midwife for the 1st time you get leaflets etc and there is one which explains what this grant is and how to apply.
so even if those aunties didn't know about it before if they get pregnant they would have found out anyway :)
i think ur referring to the 250 pounds which they give to a child for savings or something they got rid of it so any baby born after aug is not entitled to it
^ Yes we do, and usually it's those who never have who benefit from it. Anyway, that's a whole other debate.
I worked for 2 years before i got married and fell preg, husband has worked for 2years and mashallah he found ajob last week, we are not scroungers love, pay all our taxes....ta very much....
