I had a little fight with my husband. We are living with one family. I am not very good in cooking but not too bad either. I was preparing for dinner and my husband told me let me cut everything for you, I said ok and provided him with all the things. He started cutting onions etc and telling loudly u have to cut this like this and this like this. I felt very embarrassed and said ok now you are going to make this meal. He made it and after an hour one family came to visit us.
After dinner with them I made tea and served. He again started saying I dont cook gud and said just throw this cup of tea in front of everyone. I felt too bad and tasted tea in the kitchen which he gave me to throw which was fine.
After guest left I stopped talking to him and told how bad I wass feeling as he humiliated me in front of two families and he could say all this in our room. He said ¨is sa koi faraq ni perta: and fight started.
He had to go to visit in another country and after an hour he left for that. I could not see him off in a good way.
Now its been 2 days and he neither text nor called me. I sent sms on his email and asked did he reach safely.
I am feeling so bad. What should I do?
what should i do?
You shouldn't feel too bad, if anything it's your husbands fault. Your husband need to realise not everyone is perfect cook and he can't compare with you anyone. Cooking is a skill that gets better with practice and time. He shouldn't have humiliated you like that! You could have done same thing to him and humiliated him in front of everyone on the basis of qualities or trait he's not good at..
Don't feel bad!
Re: what should i do?
Would that my husband could realize this. My eyes just filled with tears after reading ur post. Thx
Re: what should i do?
^i absolutely know how u wud b feeling:(
Re: what should i do?
Your husband shouldn't have embarrassed you like that in front of his family or company. He was wrong. However, I don't think that paying him back in kind will help matters. If you were to humiliate him in the same manner, you'd have a bigger mess on your hands, it might take him longer to move on, and your in-laws may be upset as well since you mentioned that his family was also present.
What may not be so apparent to you is that the guests who witnessed everything stayed quiet only out of etiquette. Most people are smart enough to know what and who is right or wrong. I bet they thought your husband behaved poorly, but remained quiet to avoid awkwardness. Your husband doesn't realize he did his own baizzati more so than yours...and that said, it's good that you didn't retaliate before the guests. I'm not suggesting that you derive satisfaction out of this, but hopefully it should lessen the sting.
You've talked to him to no avail. You've contacted him and he's not responding. Now stop texting and calling. Give him time and space to think about things. And you need it as well to calm down.
Re: what should i do?
If you feel that you were at fault or said anything that you shouldn't have then apologise.
If you feel that he is angry with you then give him some time.
If you feel that he was at fault then try to educate him.
If your cooking is good then tell him that you leike to cook your way but if he likes his food differently then make it the way he likes it for him.
If your cooking is not good then you need to work at it. However that is not an excuse for him to criticise you in front of others rather he should tell you in private.
what should i do?
You know what In the day of judgement Allah will punish him for this. That's how I deal with my husband and do not say sorry to him he needs to say sorry to u!
If I have learned one thing in my short married life than it is that if you say sorry for something where the husband is clearly in wrong than he will 100% do it again!
Try to be strong and do not mail him or SMS him until he says sorry! Trust me it works! My husband used to be a lot like urs! One day I just stopped being nice and surprisingly when he saw that I wasn't afraid of leaving him he began to change and respect me more!
It's just that most Pakistani men haven't learned to respect women! They treat their moms like some kind of god who can't do anything wrong and they treat their wives as **** who can't do anything right!
Re: what should i do?
thx guys for your replies. My heart just lightened.