I have a friend whose marriage is settled and engagement and marriage dates are fixed,and he made travel arrangements for both, he didn’t disclose to anyone except to his roommates as they can catch anytime while speaking on phone,
But some how I came to know this info, and felt bad as he didn’t tell this to me, as i meet him after years and we talked for almost 6 to 7 hrs, though i asked about proposals and all he said still looking, i felt bad as he is lieing to me,
so here is the thing , I want to send him a message saying just Congrats and no details about marriage, he may understand by this message
so then he will ask him how do i know about this, will he thinks i’m hacking his info as i was using his laptop yesterday though it contains no details about this,
or shall i keep the secret as secret(anyway i won’t tell this to nyone as this is his personal) , thinking that there may be some strong reasons why he didn’t reveal this info
I have a friend whose marriage is settled and engagement and marriage dates are fixed,and he made travel arrangements for both, he didn't disclose to anyone except to his roommates as they can catch anytime while speaking on phone,
But some how I came to know this info, and felt bad as he didn't tell this to me, as i meet him after years and we talked for almost 6 to 7 hrs, though i asked about proposals and all he said still looking, i felt bad as he is lieing to me,
so here is the thing , I want to send him a message saying just Congrats and no details about marriage, he may understand by this message
so then he will ask him how do i know about this, will he thinks i'm hacking his info as i was using his laptop yesterday though it contains no details about this,
or shall i keep the secret as secret(anyway i won't tell this to nyone as this is his personal) , thinking that there may be some strong reasons why he didn't reveal this info
what should i do
How did YOU find out his engagement/wedding?
If you found out this information from his room mates..........then his room mates can get into trouble.
This guy is NOT obligated to tell you about his engagement/wedding.
How does his engagement/wedding affect your life? You friend didn't tell you about this khabar..........kya aisa karne se tumhari zindagi khatam hojaye gi? Kya tumhay koi nuqsaan hoga?
Maybe your friend did not want to tell that many people about his future plans. Maybe he had his own personal reasons for why he did not share this information with you. That doesn't mean that he doesn't like you as a friend. It simply means he's a private and reserved person.
Think about this........if his engagement/wedding is not going to affect your life, then just let it go and move on. You can also congratulate him after he gets married.
If you found out this information from his room mates..........then his room mates can get into trouble.
This guy is NOT obligated to tell you about his engagement/wedding.
How does his engagement/wedding affect your life? You friend didn't tell you about this khabar..........kya aisa karne se tumhari zindagi khatam hojaye gi? Kya tumhay koi nuqsaan hoga?
Maybe your friend did not want to tell that many people about his future plans. Maybe he had his own personal reasons for why he did not share this information with you. That doesn't mean that he doesn't like you as a friend. It simply means he's a private and reserved person.
Think about this........if his engagement/wedding is not going to affect your life, then just let it go and move on. You can also congratulate him after he gets married.
sometime friends doesnot wants to share only news...like may b he will invite u in his weding n wants to giv u surprize...or may b he thinks if he will tell every1 so may b unkay rishtay ko nazar lag jayyy....!!!baki ALLAH ko maloomm.....
if it bothers you that much you can jus ask him....`hey i didnt know you were getting married?! might do the trick.....otherwisewhy do you care so much....unless your a best friend.....or a very close one...
maybe he doesn<t trust anybody. maybe he doesn,t want to answer anyones questions..could be lotso f stuff. i dont think it s is only about you.
i have noticed ppl take it personally and actaully get offended when their jaanewale don<t disclose every single thing about their lives to them.
bUT wHy pretell?...
Marriage is not a secret thing, its happiest moment in one's life, when your friend is happy it make u happy too, i feel like one of his close friend
each time i call him i ask him about marriage, when you live far away it doesn't matter, when you meet every day and come to know from someothers i don't know how others feel, but i felt sad
Marriage is not a secret thing, its happiest moment in one's life, when your friend is happy it make u happy too, i feel like one of his close friend
each time i call him i ask him about marriage, when you live far away it doesn't matter, when you meet every day and come to know from someothers i don't know how others feel, but i felt sad
yes but not EVERYONE wants to SHARE it.
in our culture, people think it's okay to harass a young boy/girl with rishtas, then they think it's okay to let the entire world know who's getting married as soon as they find out, then they think it's okay to just invite yourself to someone's wedding without any notice, some even go to the extent of thinking it's okay to drag more uninvited guests along with them to that shaadi and then there are those rishtaydaars, dost and muhallay walay who will hold a grudge against the families for the rest of their lives because they didn't get told or invited to someone's shaadi.
so contrary to what goes on in our desi culture, we do NOT have a right to just interfere in anyone's shaadi business! so what if it's a happy occasion? it is also an extremely personal and intimate one which noone wants to understand. if your friend hasn't told you about it, that means he DOESN'T want any of you to know. why can't you just respect his privacy instead of ruining things between you both? just get over it.
[QUOTE]
in our culture, people think it's okay to harass a young boy/girl with rishtas, then they think it's okay to let the entire world know who's getting married as soon as they find out, then they think it's okay to just invite yourself to someone's wedding without any notice, some even go to the extent of thinking it's okay to drag more uninvited guests along with them to that shaadi and then there are those rishtaydaars, dost and muhallay walay who will hold a grudge against the families for the rest of their lives because they didn't get told or invited to someone's shaadi.
so contrary to what goes on in our desi culture, we do NOT have a right to just interfere in anyone's shaadi business! so what if it's a happy occasion? it is also an extremely personal and intimate one
[/QUOTE]
I couldn't agree more. Especially about the people holding grudges for the rest of their lives because that's literally what happens.
Lakki, I think you should give your friend the benefit of the doubt. Despite the way things work in our culture, there are still a lot of private people out there who simply like keeping things private. Or something else could be going on. I had a friend who met her fiance not too long after her father passed away. Neither she nor her family felt comfortable with a big hoopla, so they did a very quiet engagement (just immediate family at a small restaurant). I can tell you a lot of people blew their tops over this...but she genuinely wasn't trying to "cut people out." She was simply trying to keep things low key out of respect - and grief - for her father.
intially just sent an email to him with only "congrats", but he ignored it
later i called him and asked abt it, he is saying how come i marry secretly without informing you, i was about to tell you before that you asked me, I told my collegues because i need to go for holidays
now problem solved
when i got 4 jobs to choose from , i choose his location though i get couple of hundered bucks less compare to others
”