boinnng 
We've had plenty of threads where the general consensus is the women wanting their husbands to work and not being a househusband. But this is totally different - the husband doesn't not want to work - he's lost his job. The girl seems pretty shallow if at the first sign of adversity, she's willing to walk away.
I get that they have other issues - but change it around a bit. What if she was sick or couldn't have children - is that reason for him to walk away? Absolutely not! The couple have to work through their issues together - turning to a male friend for support is undermining her relationship with her husband - he's the one who she should discuss their issues with.
They need to communicate, figure out their priorities and in what direction they want to take their lives. But most important, they shouldn't make any life altering decisions until they've got a better understanding of each other and their mutual goals.
Re: what should i advise my friend?
Having a rough patch in a marriage is no reason to jump to separation. She needs to think with a clear mind, before making such a drastic decision. Leaving him because at the moment he is unable to provide her pretty things, is just selfish.
As far as the sex, they both need to read Cosmopolitan.
Re: what should i advise my friend?
Um, if she's working then their basic needs are being met no?
lots of couples fall into bad luck after htey get married. I think its just tougher when its the beginning of the marriage, because u have that added burden of getting to know each other...
She really should talk it out wiht an elder. And from what it sounds, they're just going through a rough financial patch. if he's frustrated or their sex life is bad..believe me..its from the lack of work.
Re: what should i advise my friend?
In my career building years. I went with one of my classmates to deliver this friends wedding invitation to one of his fathers close friends.
This uncle asked me "When will you get married son"
I said " Sir I am working on my career, and do not feel comfortable enough to get married as yet."
His advice was " This is the right time to get married. The woman who would stick with you in your bad times will stick with you all your life. "
I took his advice to my heart and married when I was going through bad patch of my life. Alhumdulillah I am happily married. We are doing good now. During my married life we saw many bad times , but we got out of them together without a word of complaint from my wife.
Re: what should i advise my friend?
I feel bad for this poor guy and also for a lot of couples who go through something like this.
Its one thing if he cheated on you, abused you, you dont like him or he doesnt like you, is lazy, doesnt want to find a job, etc. BUT THIS? This is different.
This is her bailing out on him when he needs her the most! This wasnt a marriage for her...this was a meal ticket. Does she even love him?
Re: what should i advise my friend?
you should stop posting threads about your 'friends'.
Re: what should i advise my friend?
^ and of course this is the millionth time that i am doing this … pfffff 
anyways …
she isnt working full time, and her salary isnt enough to make all ends meet. i agree she has a hint of materialism. but she isnt a lavish spender either.
if she loves him? she didnt when they got married. she loved someone else … but again … her parents said that man cannot take care of you … so she agreed to getting married to this new guy. if she started loving him over the time .. perhaps …
dont you think it is hard for a woman to take repeated blunt “no” for an answer when she is hinting into getting intimate?
maybe the man had low libido cuz of constant nerves for the fear of losing his job … which he ultimately did … not becuz he was a bad employee … just becuz he was warned that the company needs to downsize .. and he needs to figure things out … but does a man NEVER want to have ONE good night instead of a 2-minute thing?
she has a pretty bad **x life.
I looks like X-files.
I so miss watching it :(
Re: what should i advise my friend?
I think a man's and woman's libido is affected by the amount of stress in their lives. Its not like an on and off button and since the main responsibility is on his shoulders for taking care of finances...Im sure he doesnt really feel all that manly right now.
She is working and supporting the house...he doesnt have a job. That might kill a man's libido for a lil bit. Separation is not the answer...all that will do is drift them even further apart...unless thats what she wants.
Does she want to work things out with him or is she still in love with dude 1?
Re: what should i advise my friend?
naaa dude 1 is long gone.
as of now .. she is just confused ... scared to tell her family ... doesnt know what to do ... therefore she wants to take time off .. not a divorce.
Re: what should i advise my friend?
Good old days , when people use to stick together through thick and thin .
Good old days , when people use to stick together through thick and thin .
and use to watch X-files together.
Re: what should i advise my friend?
Yeah but what is HE supposed to think about this time off? See...when you're in a marriage...its not about just YOU or HIM anymore...its WE, US, TOGETHER.
She can take time off but there is no guarantee that he will want her back after she is done. No man wants a woman that will desert him in his time of need. He will remember this and feel betrayed forever. This is the wrong time for a separation.
Re: what should i advise my friend?
Reality of life and it hits you hard. Despite all that sweet talk (or may i say bull$hit) around that money is not important etc etc, money IS important and it effects relations specially when one in the relations is really fond of it. For such people everything seems to be falling apart and lacking if $$ is not there be it a $ex life or any other aspect of life.
Although its very hard to judge your friend with such little 2nd hand information but she seems to have not understand what marraige means. Wife and husband are for good and bad times. Anyone can stand behind you when you are earning $$$$$ but litmus test is when you are down and first person you look towards is your spouse.
I'd have said all this to your friend and then leave it up to her to decide. you cant force anyone to live with anyone. If your friend still inssist on leaving the guy, I think its better for guy too. he will not depend on false hopes from your friend.
Yeah but what is HE supposed to think about this time off? See...when you're in a marriage...its not about just YOU or HIM anymore...its WE, US, TOGETHER.
She can take time off but there is no guarantee that he will want her back after she is done. No man wants a woman that will desert him in his time of need. He will remember this and feel betrayed forever. This is the wrong time for a separation.
i completely agree with this ...
Reality of life and it hits you hard. Despite all that sweet talk (or may i say bull$hit) around that money is not important etc etc, money IS important and it effects relations specially when one in the relations is really fond of it. For such people everything seems to be falling apart and lacking if $$ is not there be it a $ex life or any other aspect of life.
Although its very hard to judge your friend with such little 2nd hand information but she seems to have not understand what marraige means. Wife and husband are for good and bad times. Anyone can stand behind you when you are earning $$$$$ but litmus test is when you are down and first person you look towards is your spouse.
I'd have said all this to your friend and then leave it up to her to decide. you cant force anyone to live with anyone. If your friend still inssist on leaving the guy, I think its better for guy too. he will not depend on false hopes from your friend.
and this is true as well ... i can only advise her .. it's upto her to take it or leave it ... i hope she takes it though ...
Re: what should i advise my friend?
so basically she agreed to marry him cuz he had the money and now since he doesn't she wants to "take a break."
What type of partner is she? She cant even support him for a little while? Why isn't she working full time? My advice wuld be stop acting childish and being lazy. Get a full time job and motivate ur husband.
I feel bad for her husband, and agree with Reha. I wouldn't take a person back if they left me when i needed them the post.
Re: what should i advise my friend?
^ there arent many jobs ... its really bad in the job market ... it's lucky enough for her to have a part-time job
but overall i do agree with everyone here, and thats what iv told her. STICK AROUND.
Re: what should i advise my friend?
Tell her PCG thinks she's shallow.
Re: what should i advise my friend?
^ i would really like to meet you, you know 
p.s. i’ll give your message … 