Like the apartment system, we lived in one portion of a house for 5 years and another family in the other portion. That family was nice. Their mother was friendly and daughter, lets call her Tina, literally grew up with us. We siblings and she & her brother were good friends of ours. We played together, ate together etc.
Anyway, when we moved out we didnt have much contact but when ever we met we picked from where we left and had a great time. Tina, although young then, used to confide in me for most of the things. I know lots of guys used to ask her out and she in fact went out with one of them as well. Because of some reason, the relation didnt work out. I never came to know the details but i am not sure of the depth of the relation.
After that, i always felt she liked one of my brothers. We meet the same way even now but i always get the feeling she wants to interact more, be part of activities at our place etc. In fact, she even hinted to my brother that she likes him. She is a pretty girl and she matches up to the choice my brother has.
I have other bhabis as well and they are the pure sort of girls, who had no affairs, never crossed the line, maintained decency etc. Tina is a nice girl, gets along with all of us well but there has always been a little feeling we all felt that she was a little out going compared to us - outgoing in terms of dressing, living style and relationships. She is a pretty girl and a very friendly one too. I am now unsure whether i should suggest her to my parents for my brother or not? There are the positives of knowing her & she having a very warm nature, plus she is the sort my brother likes. But there are the negatives of her lifestyle being a little outgoing compared to ours, she having affairs previously, a little different from my other bhabis etc. Our family considers affairs a little taboo sort. I am unsure of what should be done.
Should i give it a shot or maintain my silence in the matter?
I believe the answer should be fairly easy as long as you discuss it with your parents and your brother. Its not like you discussing it with anyone will cause an issue or whatever. So yeah, before talking to 'Tina' I'd suggest a conversation with your parents and brother. Highlight the pros and the 'relative cons' ofcourse if they're aware of them. Otherwise, I'd skip the 'relative cons'. And if they're okay with it and feel she's a match, you should talk it out with the girl and 'ask for her rishta'.
And before people jump on the OP for calling outgoing, affairs, being different as negatives. She said compared to ours. So don't get your knickers in a twist! She's talking about it relatively!
When in doubt, ask! That's the solution to pretty much every problem.
I believe the answer should be fairly easy as long as you discuss it with your parents and your brother. Its not like you discussing it with anyone will cause an issue or whatever. So yeah, before talking to 'Tina' I'd suggest a conversation with your parents and brother. Highlight the pros and the 'relative cons' ofcourse if they're aware of them. Otherwise, I'd skip the 'relative cons'. And if they're okay with it and feel she's a match, you should talk it out with the girl and 'ask for her rishta'.
And before people jump on the OP for calling outgoing, affairs, being different as negatives. She said compared to ours. So don't get your knickers in a twist! She's talking about it relatively!
When in doubt, ask! That's the solution to pretty much every problem.
Thanks for that. I was expecting an up-roar on it. I hope people understand that for such decisions,the family norms matter as well.
He is not the sort who would initiate anything or be comfortable suggesting a girl to any one.
I meant.....is you brother absolutely certain in his mind that he wants to marry the girl?? If/when he is clear......then you will need to start talking to ur mom etc....
I meant.....is you brother absolutely certain in his mind that he wants to marry the girl?? If/when he is clear......then you will need to start talking to ur mom etc....
atleast you know about this girl very well, for others many of them will be strangers and some may have hidden past you will never know. i guess there is no harm in suggesting her to parents if your brother and her like eachother to this extent they can live together. for outgoing and other things everybody is not the same in this world.