I dont see it as a derogatory term. I have confessed openly about the C bit being a very real issue.. we use BBCD’s here in the UK !
I think oneof the posters above has said it very rightly , the confusion begins when you have lived in multiple cultures and then also trying to fit into Islamic parameters .. all this can seriously screw up the mind !
I personally came to a conclusion, after years of confusion that cultures should never be followed, as a muslim, I find all my answer in Islam now. At least the feeling of “being lost” is much lesser now !
For those who dont understand the confusion part .. look at it this way, relatives and parents from a different culture expect us to behave and think in a certain manner. Our friends from a different culture expect us to think like them. Islam goes completely in a different direction .. what are you to do? you dont want your parents to feel let down, dont want to let down your friends, dont also want to cross islamic limits .. its nearly impossible to get all the three onboard at the same time !!! i have tried and failed miserably at it …
It might work , if for example one has an easy going family and spouse who dont care much for cultural or religious stuff. you just live a life with mediocre values .. that way you feel so much at ease and not confused at all!
In this context I feel FOB’s are way better then us confused lot ! they can fully well associate with one culture and are only struggling on one front : adopting the new culture. unlike us, who are fighting on multiple fronts !
In regards to the “c” in ABCD, I don’t feel very lost. I am who I am, I don’t have a identity crisis. I feel comfortable in both environments, as long as they are Islamic environments.
The thing is that most people don’t consider it confusing. They choose to make their identity a mix of their heritage and the place where they are born/raised. Nothing confusing about that. Although some people are genuinely confused.
Yeah this. I see nothing wrong with embracing both cultures. Italian-Americans are a notable minority who have kept a lot of traditions, yet are fully immersed within mainstream America.
I think a lot of those genuinely confused people are the ones who end up becoming hardcore Muslims. I’ve personally seen a lot of people who were moderately religious in Pakistan but become very devout once they moved to a different culture and couldn’t, or didn’t want to, adapt. Nothing wrong with being religious but a lot of people turn to religion when they feel like they’re losing their touch with Pakistani culture.
Not necessarily, I think of myself as a person who has a good balance of eastern and western culture but I can also confidently say my family and I became much better Muslims when we moved to Canada (I was 12 - no I don’t label myself as an CBCD - I wasn’t born here and I’m not confused either or FOB). I think the change of culture makes you ponder and think about “who am I?” Which in turn helps make the journey towards understanding Islam better. This has been my personal experience but I think it is true for a lot of people. Also, I don’t believe becoming a devout Muslim makes one incapable of being an active and positive part of society. Ofcourse like I said in my last post there are always exceptions.
Funny thing is when I said some people are confused I meant opposite of what you said.
^ Lol that’s the usual definition of ABCD, the kid who’s too Western. I was referring to some people who close themselves off from society. I’ve seen a few of those and it’s troubling. These are the kids who don’t fit into Western society, are clearly not Pakistanis, so they turn to warped versions of Islam. You know what I’m getting at here…
For the most part, people find a balance between Pakistan, Western society, and Islam, and generally do tend to be better Muslims. I agree with you there. Living in the West makes you pay attention to Islam.
This thread reminds me of the time I went to the mall and this aunty ji was dressed like this :
She was wearing sneakers with this kind of outfit, she was probably in her 50s..I was quite shocked…I dnt know if she is an ABCD or CBCD, but I think she is for sure a CONFUSED desi!
I don’t agree with that. Why can’t a person living in US follow parts of Pakistani culture and not follow all of American culture? Also, what is culture here? To me its the food, the clothes, the family bonds, etiquette etc. It’s harmless if we do these things and we can still be part of the society so why not?
Russell Peters is hilarious and I’ve seen that clip before. Although, I hope you weren’t implying I said Americans have no culture because I didn’t say that. I asked the definition of culture for the purpose of the current discussion.
