This is from the “What makes a man miss a woman” thread.
This friend of mine is in a similar situation. She is engaged (arranged) to a guy who is not in the same country. Most of their converstions are via the internet. She feels most of the time she initiates the talk, she is the one who makes the conversation go forward, she says sorry to put an end to it, she appears more needy because although he is a friendly person he likes keeping to himself. She is an extrovert and some one very talkative too.
My own relation with my fiance is different, we both feel that dependency on each other. With her, her relation is relatively new. She was asking me what she should do to bring him at par with it. How can he fall in love with her or at least feel that dependence or the least seem as interested if not needy. She says he is always very sweet and nice but doesnt talk much or show his expressiveness to the relation. Is there any way she can make him open up? Suggestions?
I think many women would be having this problem where their fiances/husbands seem a little insensitive to them because they have a little reserved natures. What ways can make him open up or feel the same for her?
Re: "What makes a man miss a woman" - real life situation!
Some people are reserved by nature and find it hard to be expressive especially when they have to do so via the virtual world. So they might come across as really insensitive whereas in real life they are the exact opposite.
I would advise your friend to just be herself, don't push her fiance and don't be too demanding - as that can put off a man quite easily especially in a new relationship. Just take it slowly.
Once they are married and living together things would be even better than what she has hoped for. InshAllah :)
Re: "What makes a man miss a woman" - real life situation!
I do not think there is any problem if a girl is being needy in a relationship. Guys are not that emotional and they are sometimes reserved whereas girls are more open, expressive and friendly when in a relationships. Thats why wives/ fiances remember birthdays/ anniversaries and plan for something special whereas most of the time the guys are on the receiving end. So just ask your friend not to be stressed about it. Just go with the flow. He will open up with time.
Re: "What makes a man miss a woman" - real life situation!
I dont think that its just that guys are not that emotional. I think the girl too has a right to have the feeling of belongingness. Even if natures of boys isnt like that, they should realize there is a girl who worries for them crazily and she should be given her due attention equally.
Re: "What makes a man miss a woman" - real life situation!
With her, her relation is relatively new.
I think you answered your own question here. Sabr is the keyword for your friend, give it some time :). He may be the sort who needs his time to open up to people and there is nothing wrong with that.
Re: "What makes a man miss a woman" - real life situation!
Again...being engaged is not like having a bf! You can't expect a fiance to act the same way like a bf would, especially in an arranged relationship. Not every person, men and women, are alike, and they all go about things differently. She wants him to talk, she needs to let him come to him. She can't expect her relationship to be like yours. Why compare when one can take relationship to a different level.
Re: "What makes a man miss a woman" - real life situation!
Give the guy sometime to breath and fall in love with her in his own way. Considering its arranged, there is nothing abnormal about his reservedness.
I think during an engagement the couple shouldn't get too friendly ...esp,if it's an arranged marriage
Ive seen a few engagements break off and both sides knew too much about each other and they aired it all in public..better wait til your married to decide what kind of person he/she is,and men sometimes are totally different after marriage...so dont worry...also girl should be more clingy needy whatever after marriage not before..
Re: "What makes a man miss a woman" - real life situation!
my own husband in the engagement period was quite shy and reserved (and cold it seemed to me) I managed to cook up a lot of insecurities too ..but later it turned out he just didnt trust the internet or phone for the conversations.
and as a person we got along sooo well Alhmadullilah ...after like a week we both felt we had known each other forever MA :D
so just give it some time ...if you push it at this stage it could backfire - some people tend to draw away from you if you are getting too clingy ... soo tell your friend to be patient..IA everything would be perfect at the right time :)
