Re: what is wrong with me ? (if u think this is some kind of joke then refrain from
Peace tigerlilly
Abū Hurayrah (ra) relates that The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Islam began strange, and it will become strange again just like it was at the beginning, so blessed are the strangers.” Sahīh Muslim]
When they say … “insan ko apni zaat sey bhi pyar karna chahiye” they are infact appealing to a certain kind of person … I have to question the part in red … “The fact that you have no desire left for this world” Do you think that is wrong? Because I think it is quite amazing … However, what are your drivers for it to be that way? Is the naat direction of Junaid Jamshed just a way for you to deal with an early midlife crisis or is it a real and healthy conscious effort to “leave the dunya”? Is this new behaviour consequential/accidental or intentional and controlled?
Because if it was consequential/accidental then may be you are “hiding” another issue - inside yourself and that needs to be resolved … but if it is because you really want to do this and it makes you feel right then that is a different issue. You should have been able to answer the remark … “.insan ko apni zaat sey bhi pyar karna chahiye” really easily … saying “Mein apni zaat sey bohat pyar karti houn, isi liye aisee bangaee houn” or some other remark …
I have seen people (especially women) who have taken the spiritual path in life and been happy and I have seen others who seem to have taken a spiritual path but are hiding some issues in that form. You should ask yourself which are you … If you find you are truly making a spiritual transition then you should occupy yourself with many things … Not least the following:
Islam is pure and clean and desires cleanliness - do not sacrifice your elegance, good decent clothes, even if they are expensive as long as they make you appear authoritative and in command, grand but not arrogant … This will help others look up to you as a role model.
When in the company of other women speak well and be fun, remember Allah (SWT) where needed and cater for people serving them … you can even tell them to help and they will listen.
Wear a smile and make it genuine … love yourself by feeling that you are earning blessings by helping others … spend on yourself and be happy to receive gifts and dwell in the dunya to increase your impact on others …
Conjugal relations with husband should remain good - this will increase your state of happiness and at least demonstrate to yourself that you are still fine and there is no underlying issue.
If you can find similar minded people - may be another friend who is going through a similar transition … and create something new from this new life … but always be aware that you might indeed be doing something that is masking a problem … And I suggest you deal with that problem … Oh, yes and stay healthy … eat good foods and do your exercise … these things will prolong your youthfulness … but they also directly make you conform to a hadith in the Hakim collection.
When you are ready if you have not done so - Go to Hajj or Umrah (That is also spending on yourself - right?)
May Allah (SWT) facilitate your good intentions … Ameen.