What is the normal response when you tell others you are expecting?

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So people are starting to find out that I am expecting as it is getting harder to hide the little bump that is now emerging.

99.9% of the time when I tell some one yes I am expecting, they are happy for me and respond with a “MashAllah” or “Congrats” or both. This just seems to be the typical response.

I was a bit taken aback the other day when I told my husband’s chachi that I am expecting and she was quiet. No response whatsoever. It was kind of awkward.

Now in the grand scheme of things, I KNOW THIS DOES NOT MATTER. And I will have people coming in here saying “making a mountain out of a molehile etc”

I really don’t NEED someone to say congrats or anything, but I find it odd when someone is just quiet. It makes it seem as if they aren’t happy for me or something? What could be the reason someone would just be completely QUIET after hearing this type of news? I just find it odd that is all.

I always congratulate someone when they are expecting and say MashAllah etc. I feel like it is just the normal thing to do…am I right?

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Re: What is the normal response when you tell others you are expecting?

You are right that the usual response is congratulations, MashaAllah or a dua.
But at the same time there can be so many reasons for the Chachi not saying anything. May be she was too surprised or may be she was lost in her thoughts.
Since you mentioned you are telling people when it is difficult to hide the bump, I am assuming you are way into your second trimester ? so lastly may be chachi thought you are telling her too late and she felt offended.

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Re: What is the normal response when you tell others you are expecting?

I know people who don’t say congratulations until the birth because the pregnancy is such a time of uncertainty.

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Re: What is the normal response when you tell others you are expecting?

Sometimes people are inwardly comparing their own situation with yours. I have some friends who were not as whole-hearted in congratulating me. I later found out that they are struggling with fertility issues - that really made me see things from their perspective. Your chachi could be comparing you with her own daughter or someone else close to her. Just give her the benefit of the doubt and move on :slight_smile:

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Re: What is the normal response when you tell others you are expecting?

Could be what the other poster also mentioned that she was lost in some other thoughts! Otherwise like why would anyone be jealous or unhappy of the other person expecting?! but what do we know, this world is cruel pretty much anything is possible.

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Re: What is the normal response when you tell others you are expecting?

pretty much…she could have her own fertility issues, or had a miscarriage or if she’s too old, maybe her daughter/DIL has such problems? It happens.

Also, there are very very very very few people who are ACTUALLY unhappy with someone else’s pregnancy or child; usually they will get wrapped up in their own thoughts and situation–sometimes they’re able to look past it, and sometimes it consumes them and comes out like this.

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Re: What is the normal response when you tell others you are expecting?

Everything you guys are saying seems plausible but it wouldn’t apply in this situation because:

She is in her late 50s with 3 grown children. Her own daughter has a child just 6 months older than mine so there are no fertility issues (I know this for a fact). In fact, her daughter was very happy for me and said MashAllah 3 times in a row when I told her. It was just her mother that was oddly quiet when hearing the news. The other thing is, she wasn’t lost in thoughts because me saying that I am expecting was in response to her asking me how my fasts are going so naturally I told her I am not fasting because I’m expecting. I’m not that far along yet. Just 15 weeks.

Anyway, I really could care less about this, but I just thought it was really odd. Like it was awkward you know?

I never makes things awkward for people. I always respond appropriately. Even when I was going through my own fertility issues before I had my first, I always congratulated others on their pregnancy news and said MashAllah…even if I sometimes felt a bit envious because I wanted a baby so badly but it wasn’t happening.

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Re: What is the normal response when you tell others you are expecting?

^ That’s good that you don’t… most of us have enough social graces to know not to show your jealousy at another person’s news…and self aware enough to know that when your own frustration is getting too much, remove yourself from a situation.

Whatever her motives were, I’d say let it go. But if you really want to you can bring it up to your daugher in a very casual way and ask why was she so quiet? Idk.

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Re: What is the normal response when you tell others you are expecting?

LOL…no I would never ask on why she did that.

I was just wondering what it means when someone is quiet upon hearing this news. Just curious that is all because it was so weird to me. Other than that, I am not losing any sleep over this, nor am I upset with her about this. I just find it odd.

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Re: What is the normal response when you tell others you are expecting?

Admit it woman, you are a tad bit upset or you wouldn’t have asked. The thing is that you’ll never know why she went silent. We can only venture guesses at best. Maybe soon after you said you were pregnant, her mind did go into thought mode…and maybe started thinking about various things related to pregnancy. Who knows. If she’s usually supportive and this was her first time that she behaved strangely…let it go. If she’s acted like this before…then maybe it’s best not to share too much about your life with her. Recite your protective surahs, pray for the best and have a safe pregnancy and delivery. :flower1:

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Re: What is the normal response when you tell others you are expecting?

It is very awkward but I’d say forget it.

Its just one person out of so many that are happy for you.

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Re: What is the normal response when you tell others you are expecting?

May be chachi remembered her first delivery and couldnt say anything.

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Re: What is the normal response when you tell others you are expecting?

She may have a reason but then again her reason should not matter. Sometimes family members want to know the exact moment your egg is fertilized but that is just not gonna happen so they are truly offended when they hear the news when the new mom to be is ready to share. Well ain’t gonna happen so just let it go.

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Re: What is the normal response when you tell others you are expecting?

^ I’ll always tell you the exact moment something fertilises @**moodi**e foodie

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Re: What is the normal response when you tell others you are expecting?

^ lol

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Re: What is the normal response when you tell others you are expecting?

Yah it’s awkward - I can see that
But don’t let it bug you. Whatever the reason might be we will never know
Ps: When I got pregnant with my 2nd baby (1st one was only 6 months) my MIL was going to hajj and I told her before she was leaving, her response was ‘itni jaldi’? and complete silence, it bothered me then because I wanted her to be happy for us, and I just remembered it again just now, but I didn’t hang on to it, everyone reacts differently and who cares at the end of the day…go have a gulab-jamun and celebrate! Oh and congratulations :slight_smile: