should they be helped in case they are really in trouble and ask for help?
it can be a rule, a way to teach them that they cant be selfish or simple requirement for fairness.
share your ideas around this.
best,
Dushwari
Re: what is one thing that makes you feel: selfish people…
I’ve sometimes wondered about this too. Even in my own relatives, this is very common. Everytime I say to myself that I will not help them again or something, the incident of Abu Bakr (when he wanted to stop helping one of his relative because of something) keeps coming to my mind when Muahmmad (S.A.W) told Abu Bakr that no matter how your relatives are, you should not break your ties and still help them when they are in need. After that, Abu Bakr would not stop helping that relative of his and would give him money whenever he needed it.
Call it my weakness or whatever, but sometimes I can’t ignore when others are in need 
PS - This also does not mean that I let them take advantage of me. If the need is urgent and if I can help, I try to do it. But if it’s something useless, then I don’t.
Re: what is one thing that makes you feel: selfish people...
that is a v. good quality in you, Nemo.
but, in order for the other person to LEARN to be on their own, they must see that they cant be unreasonably demanding of any undue advantage or support.
that way, you will help them more, in being self sufficient.
no?
best,
Dushwari
Re: what is one thing that makes you feel: selfish people...
Yes I fully agree but at times, you also have to realise that the need will be really urgent. So i guess it kind of depends on the need too. Like if it's something really really urgent and they really need help, then give them a chance so they realise their mistake and help them** at end** (if no one else helps them). But if it is something which is not urgent and is just useless, just ignore it then and tell them why you are doing what you are doing.
Re: what is one thing that makes you feel: selfish people…
feels like a talkshow audience member
Re: what is one thing that makes you feel: selfish people...
who, Voice?
Re: what is one thing that makes you feel: selfish people...
makes absolute sense, Nemo. it does depend on the need/s. and eventually, they know that one would always be there for them for help, at the end, is a comforting reward. hopefully, that includes some self-realization on their part.
thanks,
Yes I fully agree but at times, you also have to realise that the need will be really urgent. So i guess it kind of depends on the need too. Like if it's something really really urgent and they really need help, then give them a chance so they realise their mistake and help them** at end** (if no one else helps them). But if it is something which is not urgent and is just useless, just ignore it then and tell them why you are doing what you are doing.
Re: what is one thing that makes you feel: selfish people...
I said at end because what happens sometimes is that if a need is urgent and you say something to the lines of 'i'll think about it', and they ask someone else but only to return in disappointment, then they realise how important you are and were when you were helping them, which eventually forces them to revaluate themselves, thus leading to self-realization. Ofcourse this would vary from person to person but sometimes, it is possible. Though I am not sure if this will be the right approach but you can certainly try to use it for a good cause, making them realize their mistakes and selfishness.
Re: what is one thing that makes you feel: selfish people…
purrrrfect answer HHL!
and following the sunnah of the sahabah isn’t a weakness, its a strength! no nieki goes to waste; if your intention is to please Allah SWT for the sake of keeping up your ties then Inshallah you will be awarded accordingly. But like you said, being nice to others doesn’t mean that we let others trample all over us!
Re: what is one thing that makes you feel: selfish people...
People are very selfish nowadays.. people should realize how much they have. nd be thankful to Allah Mian so mUCHH.. keh poochoo maath. wat they should do is dua and help as much as they can to the people that are much more unfortunate than us. that struggle to get just one meal in a day. i think wat we can all do is help them and dua for them. because we have no idea how many others there are living in the worst conditions.
Re: what is one thing that makes you feel: selfish people...
purrrrfect answer HHL!
and following the sunnah of the sahabah isn't a weakness, its a strength! no nieki goes to waste; if your intention is to please Allah SWT for the sake of keeping up your ties then Inshallah you will be awarded accordingly. But like you said, being nice to others doesn't mean that we let others trample all over us!
i d like to add the hadith to back pinks point ... the hadith is ''ashaabi kullo hum udool'' and another narration along the same lines ..''ashaabee ka al'nujoom'' .. which translate as .. 1st hadith; ... All of my companions are just'' meaning which ever one you follow you wil be guided .. and in the 2nd hadith .my companions are like stars ... the Prophet saw .. gave a similie as his companions being stars .. reason why is cos in the olden days when ppl traveled ... they never had tom toms or satalite navigation fitted on their cammels or donkeys . .. so what they did was use stars and work out which direction to go ... and they would be well on their way to their destination .... and in the same way if we are to follow the companions we will be surely guided to the right path/ things ...
Re: what is one thing that makes you feel: selfish people...
^ :) JAK... the reason why we are in the state wer'e in is precisely bcoz we have stopped looking to these "stars" (R.A).