Can someone explain it to me in your own words, I’ve already read many articles online that just waffle on and on.
From what I gather - more or less like a normal marriage, nikah is done etc but both consenting parties have decided not to live together? Am I in the ballpark here?
So kinda like the idea situation for kids who want to marry young but aren’t ready to live as a couple or just the independent types who want to marry to avoid sin but don’t want to take on all the complications or annoyance that a standard marriage brings?
Also is it halal and do you know of any couples who are in a Misyar marriage? Hows it working out for them??
I personally find this concept of Nikkah misyar as “halalifying prostitution”. Sanctity of marriage is commitment through thick and thin. Not just only..consumed to bed only. I wish people do understand this.
I do not have enough scholarly knowledge to diagnose the fiqh issues related to this arrangment..however, as far as my understanding goes..i do not agree with this at all.
No it’s different than a mutah. Mutah is a contract for having sex for a period of time, in return gifts are granted to the girl, clothing and such basics are granted to her, you have to maintain her like a wife, but the nikkah has an expiration date. Ex. Nikkah that lasts 1 year long.
- Mutah is not accepted as even an Islamic concept by most muslim scholars worldwide
and historically. It's only recently come to be known because US soldiers found a group
of Iraqis practicing it when they invaded Iraq, and they found the concept interesting.
Someone wrote about it, then it became a widely discussed topic. Apart from that
no one accepts that this is a legit muslim concept.
-Misyar marriage is a nikkah contract w/o rukhsati. It’s actually already in wide practice where
a young couple is married, but the man has no financial obligations to the wife. And the
couple doesn’t live together necessarily. This is already commonly done when two
students living in different states or countries get married and the husband is still
a student. Financial responsibility then rests with the parents of the two that are getting
married. Benefits such as sexual intimacy and visits to each other are still allowed.
It’s a BRIDGE to Nikkah, not an alternative. There is no expiration to this, like in Mutah,
so it’s meant to be a permanent contract, with the ultimate goal of the couple to move
in together and the husband to take over financial responsibilities (or both together)
once they’re able to.
Nikah Misyar is already being commonly practiced by US muslim immigrant families, it’s just not being called Misyar, because local maulvis are encouraging the concept but they do not use the actual term, because they know people won’t be open to the practice once a term like “misyar” is brought in. Listen to lectures by Khalid Yasin on marriage, and earlier lectures from Noman Ali Khan - they all talk about it, but they coyly do not use the term “misyar”. They just tell parents you should get your kids married early - oh, he doesnt have a job? That’s ok, YOU PAY FOR EVERYTHING, including the girls expenses. Or you get the girls parents to agree to pay her expenses until couple’s education is done. But let them get together and sleep together, that this is halaal. You just need to get them to sign a nikkah that’s all.
And marriages like this were being done routinely between 19 year olds and young 20 year olds who were still in school, and parents were bearing the costs and to save face, the community would say “oh there was no rukhsati” when a divorce happened.
BTW, there is no proof that Islamically a misyar marriage is superior to a regular nikkah.
The best solution is marry when you’re financially and emotionally ready. And you’re ready to move in. Because once nikkah happens, you really need to start living together period.
It’s funny, because about 10 years ago, this was the fad: misyar. Get people married really young, they can’t financially sustain themselves. They’re not living together because girl is still in bloody high school sometimes. (Yeah, I knew girls who had this done to them when they hit 16, and thankfully many of them are still married to the same guy, but some are not). The maulvis here were (I heard this myself in many mosques and lectures) telling parents to pay the couples bills. Weddings were entirely paid by parents. Post-marriage costs, like all the girls clothes and jewelry and even educational costs, paid by parents. But the couple were able to enjoy the pleasures of marriage w/o responsibility.
After divorce rates shot up in this group of people, the maulvis now, interestingly, are into marriage counseling prior to marriage, and they take careful care now to discourage guys to marry if they’re not ready for it. They discourage girls to marry until they’ve connected more with their deen, and they are recommending girls now finish college before marriage. Same preachers.
Misyar is there, it’s available as an option, but it’s not superior in any way.
