Please help me decipher this situation. My 2.5 soon to be 3 year old has been going to day care since early this year. She has never had any issues per say. When we came back from Pakistan and she went back to day care after a 6 week break, she was fine for a week and then started crying when i would leave her there. Finally got over that after about a week. Fast forward to now, and she was fine till thanksgiving weekend. My family came to visit for the couple of days of the weekend and she loved spending time ith them. Now since then, most days are a battle for her to go to day care. She does not wanna go. When i take her there, she tries to run away. I am not sure waht is going on. I have tried asking her and she says the reason she doesnt wanna go is because i leave her there. I am really worried and i hate doing zabardasti with her. What would you do in this situation?
Re: what is going on?
Have you checked with the daycare folks, to see if they noticed anything?
Also, what language is she most comfortable with?
Re: what is going on?
This happens with my son too. Some days he is all excited to go to his daycare and then there are periods where he looks kind of sad and lingers with me when I drop him off. It breaks my heart to leave him like that there so I usually wait until one of the teacher can come to him and comfort him and take hm away.
We had relatives come over and I made a big mistake of leaving him home while they were staying. Whenever there is a change in the routine, it is difficult to get the kid back into the routine.
I usually talk to his teachers whenever there is this kind of situation. They understand and would help you. My son has always had preference for one of the teachers so I ask her to take him with her when I drop him off if he is sad or does nto want to stay there. The teacher does not have to keep the child with her all the time but picking the child up at the drop off time eases the drop off. He is ok within 5 to 10 mintues after that.
If you know your daughter has preference for any teacher talk to her and ask her if she can help when you drop her off.
Re: what is going on?
Sahar and Sarad, i have spoken to her providers and they think its because she came after the thanksgivin break and that messed up her routine. I couldnt help that because the day care was closed for thanksgiving break anyways. As far as i am aware, the teachers are doing an ok job with her, they try to distract her when i drop her off, all the kids come runnig to greet her when we get there but for some reason she doesnt want to stay. Today i left her crying and although she stopped after a couple of mins its still heart wrenching for me. Especially when she tells me that i left her there and thats why she was crying. She only goes for 5 hours, 2 of which are nap time so its not like i leave her there the whole day.
The providers are also very helpful in the sense that they take off her jacket and her shoes and put them on again at pick up time so i dont have to bend and stuff (because of my pregnancy). But if i am there, she wont let htem touch her. IF i am in teh room, she wont even let them take her to the bathroom. Same at home, only mommy and daddy can do things for her, not her grandma.
Re: what is going on?
kids intheir own way try to tell 'something' about the place if they cry going there. i pray not, but do consider the possibility of her being abused at the daycare centre in some form, shape or manner. please investigate...ask the child probing questions.
Re: what is going on?
If you remember my blog same thing happened with Guriya and the staff over there told me that it's very common and they have seen it happening with so many kids .....while Guriya was attending the play group I myself saw this behaviour is so many kids. Give it some time and try to investigate if something is bothering her , she can speak so she will be able to tell you. In my case I finally concluded that Guriya's class was getting too crowded and stuffy as they were taking in too many kids & she was not liking it .The teachers were also not able to pay attention.
Re: what is going on?
So i noticed that when i drop her off she doesnt want to go but when its pick up time, she doesnt wanna come home. So that assures me that IA no abuse of any kind is going on and its hopefully just a phase she is going through. She also tells me to play with her before school time. I think part of it is because i havent been able to give her attention that she deserves because i am just so exhausted by this pregnancy. So i am going to try adn spend more time with her when she is home IA. I have a feeling that might help. One of the teachers there has also told me not to force her to do things which are leading to temper tantrums and stubborness in her behavior. She said to just let her follow by example. I think that might hwork too since she has a personality like mine and my husband's: we dont like to do something when we are forced into it. BUt ask nicely, and we will do it a 1000 times over. So i guess she is a mirror of us in that regard.
Re: what is going on?
It might be one of those toddler desires to assert their own will. YOU said it's time to come and go, so she doesn't want to. If it were her own decision, it wouldn't be a problem. Hopefully just a phase.
Re: what is going on?
It is just a phase. I had a 4yr old who cried everyday, pretty much the entire day for almost a month. The only time he will quiet down is when he wants to have a snack. His mom is a social worker in our school. He thought when ever he'd cry, we will take him to his mom which did not happen. Anyway, now he is fine, enjoying school and has no issues.
I have another 3 year old who doesn't want to go home. Yesterday, he threw such a tantrum. It was just hilarious for his parents and us. :D