What is an "average Pakistani girl"?

[partyslims]

Re: What is an "average Pakistani girl"?

The 'average' Pakistani girl is the same as ANY other Pakistani girl living anywhere..

You'll find girls clad in burqa's in Pakistan that'll take them off and leave campus with boys... same thing with Pakistani women abroad. You'll find Pakistani girls being good cooks, with good morals and values.. in Pakistan and you'll also find the same in those that live outside Pakistan.

<3

[Sara516]

Re: What is an "average Pakistani girl"?

On a scale from 1 - 10 where 1 means extremely paindoo and 10 means extremely modern, an average pakistani girl ranks on 5.

I think following are the key characteristics of an average pakistani girl:

1. She lives with her parents until she is married off in a arranged setting,
2. She knows how to cook (although she does not cook regularly before marriage, but she is expected to cook regularly after marriage),
3. She is expected to care for her brothers, father (before marriage) and husband and other male members after marriage (things which are done by males themselves in the western society like doing dishes, ironing etc),
4. She is not allowed to work if any of her brothers/ father approve,
5. She is expected to leave her career if her brother/ father/ husband/ in-laws want her to,
6. She is expected to say yes to a rishta even if she does not like the guy
7. She is expected to leave her studies in the middle if the family wants her to marry
8. She is expected to start the family immediately after the marriage
9. She is asked to always smile and accept all the interference from her in-laws even in her very personal and private matters
10. She is expected to continue her marriage even if she is going through torture
11. Her dressing, her education, her choice of friends, her decisions to go out etc etc all are controlled by her family before marriage and her husband and in-laws after marriage 12 etc etc

The list is long. I just mentioned few :D

Pretty much.

Agreed. The word Pakistani ( avg Pakistani girl) refers to people/girls belonging to a particular nation, not people/girls belonging to particular environment! They can be anywhere, be it the states or be it in any Pakistani city. Average Pakistani girls don't just live in Pakistan!

That's true Hadeel but since hte original post that I quoted makes a distinction...between a girl in America brought up with Pakistani values VERSUS the "average" girl living in Pakistan. hence the distinction.

[Hadeel]

Re: What is an "average Pakistani girl"?

^

Well i don't agree with the original post ( the quotes ) and i don't think a distinction should be made. But then again, thats just how some people are and you can't change their wrong views about a particular concept no matter how much you try.

[Sohaib]

Re: What is an "average Pakistani girl"?

average pakistani girl? hmmmm. That is again a 'relative' term! :D

[Sweetmoi]

Re: What is an "average Pakistani girl"?

The perception I am sensing is that an average Pakistani girl has morals, values, character, domestic skills that no "foreign" bred girl could match, can speak Urdu, doesnt talk loud, modest, wears no revealing clothes, religious, respectful, speaks only when spoken to, is very sharmeeli, soft spoken, is fair, has long hair, is thin and calls her husband "mere sartaj".

Lets just agree that the average Pakistani girl is awesome and she doesnt exist even in the remote corners of Pakistan. Period.

[webmister]

Re: What is an "average Pakistani girl"?

Why would women born and raised abroad bother about what an average Pakistani girl is? And the way this point is raised here makes it look like these women want to be known as or be compared to average Pakistani girls. Are you ashamed of being identified by the values of your country of birth?

[madinahme]

Re: What is an "average Pakistani girl"?

I'm an average pakistani girl. What do I get?

[Nina85]

Re: What is an "average Pakistani girl"?

(Pretty Pakistani Girl + Ugly Pakistani Girl + Sexy Pakistani Girl + Non-Sexy Pakistani Girl + Dumb Pakistani Girl + Intelligent Pakistani Girl) / 6 = Avg Pakistani Girl

HAHAHAHAHA

[Reha]

Re: What is an "average Pakistani girl"?

@webmister

Why would women born and raised abroad bother about what an average Pakistani girl is? And the way this point is raised here makes it look like these women want to be known as or be compared to average Pakistani girls. Are you ashamed of being identified by the values of your country of birth?

No, we're not ashamed at all. We're actually very proud of who we are. I have never wanted to emulate or be like anyone else aside from what my parents have asked me to be.

However, when people tell us we are trying to be like them or should be like them or can never compare to them and blah blah blah...it pisses us off.

[cutefifa]

Re: What is an “average Pakistani girl”?

What do you mean by Average Pakistani girl. You want to say that average Pakistani girls are no more average.
If today’s Pakistani Average girls are more aware of their rights and they are no more slave of old pathetic rules of our society then it does not mean that they are losing their morals and they are no more Average Pakistani girls. We are still Average Pakistani girl with more awareness.
As i am AVERAGE Pakistani girl i would like to answer few of your points Ashi

@Ashy2010

On a scale from 1 - 10 where 1 means extremely paindoo and 10 means extremely modern, an average pakistani girl ranks on 5.

I think following are the key characteristics of an average pakistani girl:

1. She lives with her parents until she is married off in a arranged setting, That’s how family system should be
2. She knows how to cook (although she does not cook regularly before marriage, but she is expected to cook regularly after marriage),
3. She is expected to care for her brothers, father (before marriage) and husband and other male members after marriage (things which are done by males themselves in the western society like doing dishes, ironing etc), To take care of her father and brother is nice, every girl should do but after marriage we don’t have any obligation to serve our husband’s side family. Yes a girl should take care of her husband but there is nothing in Islam even that girls should take care of her in laws. Its our society’s ridiculous expectations from well educated girls.
4. She is not allowed to work if any of her brothers/ father approve, That’s Ok we should respect our brothers and fathers view.
5. She is expected to leave her career if her brother/ father/ husband/ in-laws want her to, Its upto her if she wants to work after marriage then she should clear this before marraige to her in laws so that there will be no issues. Many families does not mind working girls.
6. She is expected to say yes to a rishta even if she does not like the guy Its our religious right to say no if we don’t like a guy
7. She is expected to leave her studies in the middle if the family wants her to marry If she is not ready she should discuss this with her parents. many girls continue their studies even after marriage and kids.
8. She is expected to start the family immediately after the marriage There is no more AVERAGE pakistani guy who wants family immediately after marriage, so girls can discuss this with her husband if she doesn’t want to start a family. As its her right to say NO to kids if she is not ready
9. She is asked to always smile and accept all the interference from her in-laws even in her very personal and private matters Yes she gets irritated with all those interferences because she knows that they have no rites to interfere in her personal matters or marital matters specially. That’s why there is no concept of joint family in our religion.
10. She is expected to continue her marriage even if she is going through torture Why should she continue her marriage if she has been tortured. She has a rite of divorce to get rid of her mentally sick husband. Why people expect that she should live with any mentally sick man. These type of relationships not only effects her life but also her children.
11. Her dressing, her education, her choice of friends, her decisions to go out etc etc all are controlled by her family before marriage and her husband and in-laws after marriage Yes parents have all the rights to control their children because they are concerned about their children. but after marriage only husband has these rights. Brothers, fathers and husbands will be answerable for their sisters, daughters and wives action not in laws. Again our religion has given these rights to her husband, brother and father not any tom dick or harry.
    12 etc etc

The list is long. I just mentioned few

Now after giving explanations for every point i think i have cleared my point that if today’s girl knows her rights and obligation then it does not mean that she is more impressed with western lifestyle. We as a Pakistani AVERAGE girls know whats right and whats wrong because we are educated and ambitious girls. We know what obligations we have as a Pakistani Average girl

[Ashy2010]

Re: What is an “average Pakistani girl”?

@cutefifa

What do you mean by Average Pakistani girl. You want to say that average Pakistani girls are no more average.
If today’s Pakistani Average girls are more aware of their rights and they are no more slave of old pathetic rules of our society then it does not mean that they are losing their morals and they are no more Average Pakistani girls. We are still Average Pakistani girl with more awareness.
As i am AVERAGE Pakistani girl i would like to answer few of your points Ashi

Now after giving explanations for every point i think i have cleared my point that if today’s girl knows her rights and obligation then it does not mean that she is more impressed with western lifestyle. We as a Pakistani AVERAGE girls know whats right and whats wrong because we are educated and ambitious girls. We know what obligations we have as a Pakistani Average girl

So you mean to say that the Average Pakistani girl is NOW more aware of her rights and has now become more open while keeping herself in the values and limits.

[cutefifa]

Re: What is an “average Pakistani girl”?

Yes yes yes Ashi i am saying Average Pakistani girl is NOW more aware of her rights and has now become more open while keeping herself in the values and limits. :coolios:

[ChocoPumpkin]

Re: What is an "average Pakistani girl"?

On a scale from 1 - 10 where 1 means extremely paindoo and 10 means extremely modern, an average pakistani girl ranks on 5.

I think following are the key characteristics of an average pakistani girl:

1. She lives with her parents until she is married off in a arranged setting,
2. She knows how to cook (although she does not cook regularly before marriage, but she is expected to cook regularly after marriage),
3. She is expected to care for her brothers, father (before marriage) and husband and other male members after marriage (things which are done by males themselves in the western society like doing dishes, ironing etc),
4. She is not allowed to work if any of her brothers/ father approve,
5. She is expected to leave her career if her brother/ father/ husband/ in-laws want her to,
6. She is expected to say yes to a rishta even if she does not like the guy
7. She is expected to leave her studies in the middle if the family wants her to marry
8. She is expected to start the family immediately after the marriage
9. She is asked to always smile and accept all the interference from her in-laws even in her very personal and private matters
10. She is expected to continue her marriage even if she is going through torture
11. Her dressing, her education, her choice of friends, her decisions to go out etc etc all are controlled by her family before marriage and her husband and in-laws after marriage 12 etc etc

The list is long. I just mentioned few :D

I don't live in pakistan,still all of those points are expected here aswell.
And I dare to say,after having those personal experiences,that we get trained for marriage worse.
I had to learn cooking,being the only girl,and if my mother didn't like my food,she'd throw it away.
And honestly,I don't mind.
Girls here are brought up very strict,I don't have one girl in my family who doesn't wear hijab and takes care of what she does and only acts with her parents approval.
To say,that girls in the west are worse than in the east is just something really dumb.
As they say "haathon ki paanch ungliyan ek jaisi nehi hoti".
You have to apply that view to us girls aswell.
And why shouldn't we get pissed off at guys who only marry in Pakistan?
It is rather unfair,not to consider girls living abroad.
An anverage pakistani girl in Pakistan does not exist,there are all types of girls in Pakistan and in the West.
Stop exaggerating.

[PakWoman]

Re: What is an "average Pakistani girl"?

I feel a lot of people are taking average, specifically in the sense of a typical Pakistani girl. And taken in that sense yes all those stereotypes are attached with that caricature. Aunties still go around looking for such girls for their sons, all the time complaining that they have become so very rare.
However, they are still around. The problem is that these aunties want well-groomed, shareef as well as educated and modern, average Pakistani girls, but they forget that with education comes independence and awareness of one's rights.
I think the image of an average Pakistani girl has changed somewhat over the past decade (in the middle classes), but yes those very-typical girls are still around.

[Gina]

Re: What is an “average Pakistani girl”?

I agree with the first part of Sweetmoi’s post…lets just all agree that the ‘average’ Pakistani woman is just awesome.

[kakaballi]

Re: What is an “average Pakistani girl”?

@Sara516

…Personally I don’t believe that that is the “average” Pakistani girl in Pakistan anymore…

Did they export them all?

Read with the following, it has been apparently a great idea to import one from Pakistan,

@Gina

I agree with the first part of Sweetmoi’s post…lets just all agree that the ‘average’ Pakistani woman is just awesome.

[BarbieCue]

Re: What is an "average Pakistani girl"?

You guys aren't helping the stereotype that Pakistani girls are oppressed. At least what I'm understanding from this thread is that an average Pakistani girl is good-for-nothing.

I'm nothing more than an average girl myself and I don't conform to any of the specifications you guys have laid out in this thread (even when I was living in Pakistan). If I were to make similar generalisations about Pakistani girls born outside of Pakistan (myself included) it wouldn't go down very well with many of ye.

[Sara516]

Re: What is an "average Pakistani girl"?

You guys aren't helping the stereotype that Pakistani girls are oppressed. At least what I'm understanding from this thread is that an average Pakistani girl is good-for-nothing.

I'm nothing more than an average girl myself and I don't conform to any of the specifications you guys have laid out in this thread (even when I was living in Pakistan). If I were to make similar generalisations about Pakistani girls born outside of Pakistan (myself included) it wouldn't go down very well with many of ye.

BBC I dont' see anybody implying that they are "less-than-nothing"...in factt he only one who has given any description at all is Ashy and that post talks about how girls are treated unfairly and how they're not expected to have any wants/needs/desires.

[BarbieCue]

Re: What is an "average Pakistani girl"?

There's two stereotypes in this thread, 1: They're oppressed or 2: They're super shareef. I disagree with both. I feel Pakistani girls (living in Pakistan) are actually far more "advanced" than girls like me who've spent a bulk of their lives abroad. There's nothing wrong with that, I'm glad they've come a long way in terms of freedom of choice.

Ashy2010, let me guess, you were not born nor bred in Pakistan and the last time you visited Pak was perhaps a decade ago, right? The criteria you've given is that of an oppressed girl, not an average Pakistan girl. There's a big difference. Let's compare an Afghani girl (living in Afghanistan) to a Pakistani girl... which one's actually oppressed? ... yeah.

[Sohaib]

Re: What is an "average Pakistani girl"?

@PakWoman

I feel a lot of people are taking average, specifically in the sense of a typical Pakistani girl. And taken in that sense yes all those stereotypes are attached with that caricature. Aunties still go around looking for such girls for their sons, all the time complaining that they have become so very rare. However, they are still around. The problem is that these aunties want well-groomed, shareef as well as educated and modern, average Pakistani girls, but they forget that with education comes independence and awareness of one's rights. I think the image of an average Pakistani girl has changed somewhat over the past decade (in the middle classes), but yes those very-typical girls are still around.

wah bhayee... kya baat hai.. well said!