Re: What if your husband isn't attracted to you?
It's harsh but I guess he doesn't like you much now..perhaps he has found attraction somewhere else.
Re: What if your husband isn't attracted to you?
divorce....a man who has his head up his own ARSE doesnt deserve u :D
Re: What if your husband isn't attracted to you?
maybe he is asexual?
Re: What if your husband isn't attracted to you?
How did u manage to type that Sohni :D
Re: What if your husband isn't attracted to you?
I did expect some mockery from the thread and there it is. Thanks to all those who took me serious & gave positive replies.
He himself never dressed up too crisp before the wedding but after the wedding he has started to work on his self, he shaves regularly, dresses up nice and smells good all the time. He is also trying to lose weight. I know he is working on his looks. But for females it isnt that easy or is it?
Problems:
Skin: I have acne & blemishes all over the body, they aren't too much but they can be seen. So that is one turn off he has mentioned. Now I've started to drink more water. I have visited 3 dermatologists in Pakistan but never did the problem get fixed, it became better but never ended. I have tried people's desi totkas & oils and what not. My diet may have been wrong, oily foods and lack of water. So that i am trying to fix. Skin has been a big problem for him from the start.
Weight: I am going to join the gym to fix that and cut off the extra flab.
Dressing: This I don't understand, it is pretty subjective. What i like, some one else may not. He is of the view that he knows fashion and I dress up out of style. He works at a place with tip top ladies and he has many friends, male friends with wives and a few female friends too. He expects me to look really good when I go out with him. I try to do so but i don't know but I don't really put up to the expectations ever. I am the sort of person who goes more for comfort than style but that doesn't mean i look ugly or anything, its just not a drastic look change. Its a decent sort of dressing. He wants me to look fresh, vibrant and wear bright happy colours. When it comes to western, he thinks I know nothing and look stupid. I wear jeans, trousers, shrugs, jackets, coats, tops, everything. I wear matching jewellery with everything still something is not right some where.
Makeup: I need a makeover. I am all for buying new makeup. The women here look so properly prepped up in the morning, evening, night when ever. It surprises me how they manage to do such good makeup and maintain it. I am an NC35-40 complexioned. I am not sure what looks good on me.
Overall,im just suffering from a low self esteem since after getting married you view yourself from the eyes of your husband. He isn't blunt but i can see from his eyes that he didn't really appreciate or i don't look good in his eyes. Looking good for him is my priority now and i don't know how to fix that up.Would appreciate all the help in this regard!
Re: What if your husband isn't attracted to you?
Have you tried the lactic acid peels? I'm not sure if you can get them in Pak though.
Blemishes can be covered with a good quality foundation. I have freckles on my face due to childbirth but foundation hides it nicely.
Regards to acnee, use a good quality scrub every night before bed and rub softly drops of toner or rose water. Don't eat any fried food and red meat. In fact, try a detox diet for a while.
Exercise and good diet will definitely help.
And wear bright colours if he likes them....with accessories.
Also, don't take any offence to this but if you make the bedroom life more interesting and feed him yummy food everyday he might stop complaining altogether.
And most of all, find out his weakness. Good luck.
Re: What if your husband isn't attracted to you?
^^Sorry Abracadabra, I wasn't meaning to mock you..
I hope things get better for you. I think you need to work on your confidence as well..
For the skin issues have you tried antibiotics? I was on Oxytetracycline for a year in my teens and mine completely cleared up..
At home peels or Retin-A make acne scars fade much faster as well once it's been dealt with (If you go to a derm you could get a deeper peel to remove them in one go rather than over the course of several weeks or months IF you feel you don't wan't to wait)..
Maybe a new haircut or colour will lift your spirits a bit as well?
As you mentioned tastes in fashion are v.subjective, does he give you specific ideas on what he likes or take you shopping? Obviously tho you should feel comfortable with it..
Re: What if your husband isn't attracted to you?
Agree with Deeba. Also, being confident doesn't mean that you start showing attitude to him. To me it means feel good about yourself and don't give ears to his complains....simply change the topic. Don't give much thought to negativity.
Re: What if your husband isn't attracted to you?
Have you tried the lactic acid peels? I'm not sure if you can get them in Pak though.
Blemishes can be covered with a good quality foundation. I have freckles on my face due to childbirth but foundation hides it nicely.
Regards to acnee, use a good quality scrub every night before bed and rub softly drops of toner or rose water. Don't eat any fried food and red meat. In fact, try a detox diet for a while. Exercise and good diet will definitely help.
And wear bright colours if he likes them....with accessories.
Also, don't take any offence to this but if you make the bedroom life more interesting and feed him yummy food everyday he might stop complaining altogether.
And most of all, find out his weakness. Good luck.
Things have been tough from the start. There have been good times too but rough patches as well. So bedroom life isn't blooming, its just routine sort. Food - he is the biggest foodie i know of and i have never cooked before so i agree fully i am not a good cook either. Its all very new for now.
Re: What if your husband isn't attracted to you?
I am not in Pakistan. I am in Australia and moving to UK soon, maybe Wales side or London whereabouts not decided as yet. Peels, i havent tried but would like to know more about them. What about Retin - A, what is it? more on it please
Re: What if your husband isn't attracted to you?
^If you'll be in the UK you can ask your GP to prescribe something for the acne, better than spending money on products which may or may not not work..
Retin-A is a cream or gel which increases skin cell turnover so scars fade a lot quicker, skin tone normalises etc.. It also has other qualities (anti-ageing etc)..
If you're lacking confidence around your husband or think he might be critical it might not be a good idea to try a peel unless you go for something very light so your skin isn't visibly peeling or flaking (or do a stronger peel whilst hubby is away)..
There's a very detailed and informative thread on peels (glycolic, lactic and TCA) and Retin-A in this section, it should come up if you do a search..
Paheli knows LOADS about peels as well and is really helpful so you could also ask her for advice..
Re: What if your husband isn't attracted to you?
Abracadabra hugs
- get a new haricut/dye ur hair. Do invest in a good hair straightner/ blow dryer. Nicely styled hair makes a world of difference.. If your idea of hair do is securing hair with a cage .. please reconsider it, it could look reallly auntyish on desi women.
- visit a make up counter, they can help you with choosing a right shade of foundation according tou your skin type. Or you could also buy one of those bb cream from local drugstore.. a bit of foundation, mascara, eyeliner, and medium shade lipstick.. viola your good to go.
-If your husband finds your dressing hideous, did His highness ever offer his assistance while shopping??? Browse through magazines to get an idea what looks good on your type of body.
- As for acne- do what others suggested.
I did not even know guys pay such attention to acne and blemishes... if his highness was that obnoxious ( sorry) and so much into appearance, why did he marry u in the first place??
-
Re: What if your husband isn't attracted to you?
I did expect some mockery from the thread and there it is. Thanks to all those who took me serious & gave positive replies.
He himself never dressed up too crisp before the wedding but after the wedding he has started to work on his self, he shaves regularly, dresses up nice and smells good all the time. He is also trying to lose weight. I know he is working on his looks. But for females it isnt that easy or is it?
Problems: Skin: I have acne & blemishes all over the body, they aren't too much but they can be seen. So that is one turn off he has mentioned. Now I've started to drink more water. I have visited 3 dermatologists in Pakistan but never did the problem get fixed, it became better but never ended. I have tried people's desi totkas & oils and what not. My diet may have been wrong, oily foods and lack of water. So that i am trying to fix. Skin has been a big problem for him from the start.
Weight: I am going to join the gym to fix that and cut off the extra flab.
Dressing: This I don't understand, it is pretty subjective. What i like, some one else may not. He is of the view that he knows fashion and I dress up out of style. He works at a place with tip top ladies and he has many friends, male friends with wives and a few female friends too. He expects me to look really good when I go out with him. I try to do so but i don't know but I don't really put up to the expectations ever. I am the sort of person who goes more for comfort than style but that doesn't mean i look ugly or anything, its just not a drastic look change. Its a decent sort of dressing. He wants me to look fresh, vibrant and wear bright happy colours. When it comes to western, he thinks I know nothing and look stupid. I wear jeans, trousers, shrugs, jackets, coats, tops, everything. I wear matching jewellery with everything still something is not right some where.
Makeup: I need a makeover. I am all for buying new makeup. The women here look so properly prepped up in the morning, evening, night when ever. It surprises me how they manage to do such good makeup and maintain it. I am an NC35-40 complexioned. I am not sure what looks good on me.
Overall,im just suffering from a low self esteem since after getting married you view yourself from the eyes of your husband. He isn't blunt but i can see from his eyes that he didn't really appreciate or i don't look good in his eyes. Looking good for him is my priority now and i don't know how to fix that up.Would appreciate all the help in this regard!
divorce the *******
Re: What if your husband isn't attracted to you?
Abracadabra- all I am seeing is YOU working ur butts off to save this marriage and ALL he is doing is putting you down and making you feel even crappier.. Why are u putting up with such beahvior??? what are you??.. his slave???
Re: What if your husband isn't attracted to you?
whats up Abra, what is the problem with your husband? are you rukhsatified?
Re: What if your husband isn't attracted to you?
Abra, every time I read your posts I feel so sad. I know you're trying your best, but you're only putting a bandaid on the problem....not curing the problem itself.
There's nothign wrong in wanting to look nice for your man but it doens't look like he shows any appreciation for you because you said he still doesn't like how you dress no matter how much you try. That's not how a loving relationship is. like someone said above...when you love/are attracted to someone...you like them in most states.
Re: What if your husband isn't attracted to you?
Simple no nonsense tips here:
a) Eat half the amount of your hunger
b) Eat Whole Foods - avoid processed food - avoid bread
c) Do exercise
d) Speak softly
e) Wear perfume - brush teeth - give him coffee/tea
f) At night ... stealthily touch him in places that make you blush
We'll see if that does not turn the situation around ... or up should I say ... :)
Then you can say AbraCadabra
Re: What if your husband isn't attracted to you?
yd he marry you
Re: What if your husband isn't attracted to you?
yd he marry you
Why did they buy iPhone3 - because at that time it was new
Re: What if your husband isn't attracted to you?
One thing that always amazes me in Life1 threads that guppan has not opened her lips properly to complain a bit about her hubby, and our quom started to jump to one and only advice, that is, to divorce the guy. WTH people, do you have any idea what it takes to make a marriage work? Its not a saif ali khan and preeti zinta movie. Its real life and it requires sacrifices and compromises form both sides. And its not even a business so there is no 50-50 partnership in sacrifices. Based on situation, one party may do more and other may do less, but goal is to make it work.