So lets say the guy claims to like you, the parents of the guy like you and your parents like the guy. Everything else is great except physical compatibility from your point of view. He’s hot and you’re not ugly but also not gorgeous. Some might think you’re pretty. However, he could potentially do so much better (strictly referring to looks), not other stuff like education or religion. Both equally religious (the grl may be more) and equally educated. This might seem shallow however, please comment on whether you think this is a reasonable thing to worry about or a ridiculously stupid thought to have.
Some might say that personalities and such have to match, which they seem to, however there hasnt been much face time. mostly online communication. The families and the guy have known each other for quite awhile. However, the only time the grl and guy see each other is at mutual social gatherings (a glimpse or two every six months or so). Thanks. Any input is appreciated.
Re: What if i'm not good enough
It's the most cliché line that has been used over and over again, but it's the inside that counts.
There's no reason for you to put yourself down like that, don't think you're not good enough for him. Because at the end of the day, he wants to get married to YOU right?
And when it comes to matching personality, understanding will develop along the way..
Re: What if i'm not good enough
if he likes you and has chosen to marry you, there's nothing to worry about. also, he might not rate himself as you do - he might think he's average too. but it doesn't even matter, lots of factors play a part in attraction and he obviously is attracted, otherwise he wouldn't want to marry you!
Re: What if i'm not good enough
dont put urself down... be confident in ur appearance... be confident in ur skin
Re: What if i'm not good enough
Dnt put urself dwn jst bcoz u think hes betta lukin.. he wnts to marry yu so maybe he finds yu more prettier
theres gta b sumthin abwt yu if a hot guy wnts to marry yu.. ryt???.. think positive
If everyone who matters (his family, but most especially HIM) likes you then you shouldn’t worry.
However I can imagine the painful things that may happen afterwards…even if hte in laws will be nice and won’t berate you for your looks, what a few people may say may be VERY hurtful.
if the guy is the humble sort, and not the type to throw back at you about your looks, and eerything else is working out fine…go for it :k:
So lets say the guy claims to like you, the parents of the guy like you and your parents like the guy. Everything else is great except physical compatibility from your point of view. He's hot and you're not ugly but also not gorgeous. Some might think you're pretty. However, he could potentially do so much better (strictly referring to looks), not other stuff like education or religion. Both equally religious (the grl may be more) and equally educated. This might seem shallow however, please comment on whether you think this is a reasonable thing to worry about or a ridiculously stupid thought to have. Some might say that personalities and such have to match, which they seem to, however there hasnt been much face time. mostly online communication. The families and the guy have known each other for quite awhile. However, the only time the grl and guy see each other is at mutual social gatherings (a glimpse or two every six months or so). Thanks. Any input is appreciated.
Basically everybody is happy however you think although you are his equal in most respects that he is more beautiful than you and could go for a better looking girl. If he did go for a better looking girl perhaps she would have some weaknesses in other areas that he would have to compromise on. I have seen plenty of couples where one partner is more beautiful than the other but they are still happy and physical beauty is a non issue. Physical beauty fades with time anyway, besides what is the point having a beautiful wife if you cannot get on with her and do not feel happy.
Re: What if i'm not good enough
As I've mentioned before, regardless of what the world thinks of your partner's looks, YOU should find your partner attractive. Attraction has it's own place and importance in a marriage and it's silly to deny it.
At the same time, keep in mind that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I know that this is a cliche saying but there is truth in it. We ALL differ in our opinions regarding what is attractive. What is appealing to one person may not be so to another. Believe it or not.....some people might not think that your guy is good looking. Some might think YOU are the better looking one. Opinions vary from person to person. And opinion is just an opinion......it is so subjective that it is neither true nor false......and it is neither right nor wrong.
IF this guy did not find you attractive........in my opinion, he wouldn't be interested in you. Why would he bother with you if he did not find you attractive? There are many other girls in the world. BUT.......out of the girls he's seen and encountered.........he likes you best and finds you appealing........to the point that he's considering you for marriage. That's a pretty big deal. Don't put yourself down.......have some confidence. :)
Re: What if i'm not good enough
Two things:
Do you find him hot?
Does he find you hot?
Everything else is just stuff.
Re: What if i'm not good enough
maybe ur not looking at urself the way he sees you...
has anyone ever said ur not good looking or ur not as good looking as him?
Re: What if i'm not good enough
Looks are not everything. 20 years down the line (when you're still together, inshAllah), both of your looks will fade and it will be the personality that keeps you together...
The trick is to make him love you for your personality, not your looks..
It doesn't matter if other people think you are/are not pretty/good looking, what matters is what the two of you think about each other and I'm not referring to what you think of each others looks.. I'm referring to the inner stuff..
If you were to see my Husband, you would think he is an average looker and nothing special.... but I find him extremely attractive (in fact, I often "ogle" at him) because of his (mashAllah) wonderfully amazing personality and that's why I love him. I love him for his personality, not his looks.. and that's the best reason of all to love someone..
Re: What if i'm not good enough
GAL whats wrong with you??
get it set in your mind
you are PRETTY
the guy likes you he wants to marry you......everything is SO good......why just bother looks then?? and trust me every girl looks kinda not so gorgeous once they reach their 50s ...... so looks are definitely NOT something you should really consider or bother about....
be happy HE LOVES YOU :D lol
Thanks you guys for all the support. I suppose I'm just a little skeptical. But thanks. I hope it works out, inshAllah.
Re: What if i'm not good enough
I'm a guy. When I wanted to marry, I especially asked my mom to try to find a gal who is NOT very pretty or gorgeous but just a normal looking but decent girl. I'd take a humble and decent yet average looking girl over a gorgeous and proud girl anyday. For me, attraction comes from her personality, her modesty and fidelity. Ofcourse, I don't wanna give a sweeping statement, but as far as I have observed, girls who are super hot are usually kinda arrogant. Maybe they are not born that way, but people praising them all their lives makes them that way.
So that maybe your to-be-hubby's angle.
In any case, I think nothing beats istakhara in the matters of marriage. Good Luck !
Re: What if i'm not good enough
Let a hot guy answer it.
DAAAAAAA sorry, don't have brain.
Re: What if i'm not good enough
go for it!!
i m sure u r pretty dats y he wants u
dont worry, be happy!
Re: What if i’m not good enough
WHAT DOES PHYSICAL COMBATATHINGY even mean? Do you find him hot? Does he think you are Hot? Do you have chemistry?
If you don’t love yourself now, forget about in 10 years time. These are your best days kiddo. Embrace them. And anyway. Someone has to draw the shorter straws. At least your future kids wil benefit :k:
Also at about 30 he will begin to bald and put on a belly. O and guys get jowls earlier too.
Re: What if i'm not good enough
Actually, if your self confidence is that low it might cause problems in the future. So either stop thinking that way, or....kapische
Why do u even feel that u're not good enuff for him? If u feel u're compatiable and that he likes u. U should be comfortable and happy :)
Re: What if i'm not good enough
The girl always needs to look better than the guy in a relationship. Any other way around just makes the couple look stupid.