so it is just me or am i noticing this trend of having a billion functions for a wedding (mehndi, mayoon, dholki, engagement, nikkah, shadi) but no valima?
its kind of sad actually that we’ve adopted all these different celebrations from different countries and cultures but aren’t giving importance to the one sunnah function of a marriage; ah well maybe i’m over reacting, i dont know…
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so it is just me or am i noticing this trend of having a billion functions for a wedding (mehndi, mayoon, dholki, engagement, nikkah, shadi) but no valima? its kind of sad actually that we've adopted all these different celebrations from different countries and cultures but aren't giving importance to the one sunnah function of a marriage; ah well maybe i'm over reacting, i dont know...
Nope i've noticed hte same thing, esp when the mehndi/mayyouns/registry etc are so huge and grand, but then there's nothing in the way of a valima? or maybe they are just very simple, family only events so that's why we don't see many pics of it? It does seem weird in a way b/c traditionally these events are paid by the bride's family, but maybe since there's many events, they split the cost..?
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^ok good im not going crazy! :)yea i don't know why that is? it kinda bothers me anyway
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^ok good im not going crazy! :)yea i don't know why that is? it kinda bothers me anyway
maybe htey don't think its imp? i dunno....some girls on here have done that, they can probably tell y.
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^ i think if the nikkah is on a separate day, then regardless of what you term it, the next day event (which most people choose to call the shaadi), is actually the valima, since you've already had your actual shaadi and are islamically married, and the next day is just a celebration/confirmation of that (which is what a valima is).
i think instead of naming that occasion the valima, people are calling it the shaadi, for whatever reason. whereas a few years ago, the nikkah actually did happen on the day of the event called shaadi, so then the next day celebration was termed the valima.
so i think its still happening, its just not called a valima any longer.
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^ I also think families are doing a lot more joint functions, so the need for a separate dulha-wale function is less.
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^ i think if the nikkah is on a separate day, then regardless of what you term it, the next day event (which most people choose to call the shaadi), is actually the valima, since you've already had your actual shaadi and are islamically married, and the next day is just a celebration/confirmation of that (which is what a valima is). i think instead of naming that occasion the valima, people are calling it the shaadi, for whatever reason. whereas a few years ago, the nikkah actually did happen on the day of the event called shaadi, so then the next day celebration was termed the valima. so i think its still happening, its just not called a valima any longer.
Actually a shadi is the day that the rukhsati happens. Shadi can happen any time after the nikkah has been done (if not on the same day).
Valima is the function done after hte rukhsati (either a day or week etc).
Islamically, all we have is the nikkah and a valima... everything else, the mayyoun, mhendi, rukhsati, etc, those are cultural things...
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Actually a shadi is the day that the rukhsati happens. Shadi can happen any time after the nikkah has been done (if not on the same day). Valima is the function done after hte rukhsati (either a day or week etc). Islamically, all we have is the nikkah and a valima... everything else, the mayyoun, mhendi, rukhsati, etc, those are cultural things...
yeah but the concept of rukhsati is cultural too, is it not? so therefore, once the nikkah is done, any function after that is technically a valima.
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Isn’t that what I said? 
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yeah but the concept of rukhsati is cultural too, is it not? so therefore, once the nikkah is done, any function after that is technically a valima.
If the function is sponsored by the bride's family then it is not a valima. If the groom sponsors the function then it really doesn't matter what you call it...it is technically a valima.
Valima is a feast hosted by the groom to celebrate his wedding with his family and friends. It takes places after the nikkah cermony and it can take place any time after nikkah cermony/rituals have taken place (10 mins, 1 day, 1 week...doesn't matter.) It is a sunat-e-nabwi s.a.w. and should be given more importance then maiyoon and mehndi.
Re: What happened to the Valima? (Current trends in wedding functions)
as far as i know, the valima really isnt traditional among most muslims in the subcontinent, and really only became fashionable within the past 50 or so years...perhaps when people started to become more aware of its importance in the sunnat.
that might explain why people are skipping them...though i have to say, the vast majority of weddings ive been to had valimas.
Re: What happened to the Valima? (Current trends in wedding functions)
^ i kow in north america, cost is a big factor. a lot of families are skipping the traditional valima, and having one joint function the day after the nikkah where both contribute financially and otherwise. does this not fulfil, at least, partly, the idea of the valima?
lusi, did the Prophet (PBUH) say that the guy has to pay for it solely to be considered a valima?
Re: What happened to the Valima? (Current trends in wedding functions)
Yeah, I don't know what officially counted as my Valima.
Our nikkah/ruksati function was in Pakistan in December 2004. This was joint.
In November 2005 my parents did a reception in the US.
In July 2007!!! my inlaws did a reception in the UK. :D
Re: What happened to the Valima? (Current trends in wedding functions)
well, i guess mostly grls r here in these threads. Valima is a func, ladkay walon ki side ka so the dulhan's got to do nothin abt it.i agree our main islamic func are nikkah n' valima.n i guess these both are obvious ones without these the weddin is incomplete.
nowadaz there hav been many more as u've said maiyon , dholaks etc ,,, but then its personal choice n i guess cultural too.
Re: What happened to the Valima? (Current trends in wedding functions)
That’s so awesome, receptions after your wedding…
my parents promised us one for watever reason but i doubt it’ll b happening any time soon 
Re: What happened to the Valima? (Current trends in wedding functions)
^ That's the case for us as well...they kept thinking we'll do it in the Spring, in the Summer, then it barely happened in the fall. I was like, why don't you just throw us an anniversary party -- and my mother refused!
Re: What happened to the Valima? (Current trends in wedding functions)
Islamically you're supposed to have one and the man or his family is the one who pays.
Bab An-Nikah (Volume 7, Book 62, Number 10):
Narrated Anas bin Malik:
'Abdur-Rahman bin 'Auf came (from Mecca to Medina) and the Prophet made a bond of brotherhood between him and Sad bin Ar-Rabi' Al-Ansari. Al-Ansari had two wives, so he suggested that 'Abdur-Rahman take half, his wives and property. 'Abdur-Rahman replied, "May Allah bless you with your wives and property. Kindly show me the market." So 'Abdur-Rahman went to the market and gained (in bargains) some dried yoghurt and some butter. After a few days the Prophet saw Abdur-Rahman with some yellow stains on his clothes and asked him, "What is that, O 'Abdur-Rahman?" He replied, "I had married an Ansari woman." The Prophet asked, "How much Mahr did you give her?" He replied, "The weight of one (date) stone of gold." The Prophet said, "Offer a banquet, even with one sheep."
Re: What happened to the Valima? (Current trends in wedding functions)
pink,ferozi, dull gold r in