what does it mean ( MIL QUESTION)

Lifestyle Relationships
1

what does it mean when

a] your mother in law doesnt really talk much on phone with you, and quickly passes it to someone else…not in a mean way, just maybe run out of conversation( after 1 minute) OR something else…

b] she in one conversation says live simply, simple life.( does she think im screwing her sons money, or is this just genuine advice…

c] whenever theres an occasion, like a birthday, or whatever, she will say ( on the phone, as shes in pak) ACHEY KAPREY PEHNA…wtf…do i not wear nice clothes, or is this again, just normal advice…

what kinda person does she think i am…she hardly talks to me, most of the time shes quiet, and when she does talk its crap advice like above…or am i taking it too personally…

like d] on new years day, me and my hubby text her…she replied back with an extensive deep text to her son, and with me she replied with 1 sentence although i also said love you in the text, no love you back, just normal jumble…

so…i think she doesnt like me much, maybe because her son chose me, from her hubbys side of family, not her side…

but hubby insists she likes me, and shes just quiet and im reading too much into it, just cos im a chatterbox doesnt mean neveryone is…

?

2

Re: what does it mean ( MIL QUESTION)

lol - nadz - I think you are reading too much into this. I don’t think there is much to talk about so what else is there left for her to “talk” about?

She likes you and that’s why she just wants to be able to hold a conversation out of “nothingness”.

As time goes by, and you guys have bonded closely - she will be able to tell you more stuff and have a “normal” conversation.

Don’t get worried about this. If she did not text back “love you” does not mean that she is “showing you obviously” that she does not love you :cb: This one’s too funny - sorry - makes me laugh… :cb:

3

Re: what does it mean ( MIL QUESTION)

really.....lol......maybe......

but why she saying achey kaprey pehno i get really offended.....grrrrr

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Re: what does it mean ( MIL QUESTION)

maybe that's her way of thinking that it will make you happy? That when she says "acche kapre pehno" - she probably means that go and enjoy shopping... and be happy?? :)

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Re: what does it mean ( MIL QUESTION)

i think ur reading too much into it especially the kaprey thing. everytime we are invited to a wedding or family do my mum always says the same thing to me even though she knows i always dress nicely but she still says it. its just one of those mum things. let it go

6

im sorry but the kinda tone u have for yr mil is not very pleasing and perhaps can be a reason why yr mil is not very comfortable with you.

  1. just cuz she tells u to dress up well on such occasions doesnt mean more then the fact that most girls dont wanna doll up all the time after weddings but its kinda expected of them by everyone so she is perhaps only indicating u of the same. No big deal....act like an adult and respect her advice and be thankful that someone is caring of how u look.

  2. she didnt replied u with a 'love you too" cuz maybe she doesnt believe in pretence....?! its better she says that when she means it instead just to say it for the sake of it.

I am sorry but you need to do some growing up and that too fastly :-) I know you may be young and marriage doesnt look like a easy task either but i believe if you are ok to marry you should be ok to adjust and adapt too. Good luck.

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Re: what does it mean ( MIL QUESTION)

I am sorry, but I think you are the one with issues not your MIL.

Relax, and be tolerant.

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Re: what does it mean ( MIL QUESTION)

I actually prefer my MIL not talking to me as much. We have nothing in common so when she does pass the phone around after her lovely long list of dua's I break out in a slight 'phew'

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Re: what does it mean ( MIL QUESTION)

Lol… you shud thank your blessings she doesnt talk that much to you!! :p:p:p:p:p:p:p :wink:

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Re: what does it mean ( MIL QUESTION)

i agree with the last two
thank your lucky stars lolzz

but seriously i also think you are reading too much into it

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Re: what does it mean ( MIL QUESTION)

nadz123, your main problem seems like that you are unable to find any issue with your MIL which off course is very disappointing. aab daikhoo na jub 4 lerkyaaan jama hotee hooon gee aur apnee MIL kee buriee kertee hoon gee, tu I am sure you feel so left out :(

at one side you are complaining that she does not talk much and on the other side you are saying she talk crap now dear let me tell you everyone talk with their limits and within their own domain. She might be good at many thing that you are duffer at and vice versa.

12

Re: what does it mean ( MIL QUESTION)

Nadz...first of all, congrats on your marriage.

Second, just take a deep breath and stop trying to analyze everything. Your MIL's behavior doesn't sound like anything out of the ordinary. A lot of us don't like having long conversations on the phone. We're not big on saying "I love you" out loud, especially if we've had a conservative Pakistani upbringing where affection is deemed silly and almost haraam (wrongfully so). And most of us on GS (if we're female) have heard the phrase "achay kapre pahna" a billion times since we could first understand spoken speech from every female relative, friend, random person off the street, etc and will continue to hear it for the rest of our lives. Heck, my eighty-something year old nani, in addition to telling me to wear nice things, will also tell my sixty something mother to wear something pretty.

There doesn't seem to be a problem here...yet. But if you continue looking for the negative implications of others' actions, you will definitely find them and then you WILL have problems.

You've just been married. Relax, have fun and get to know your hubby better. Give people the benefit of the doubt and try to look for the good stuff...Inshallah, everything will be fine.

*~* Timepass • September 2015 *~*
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Re: what does it mean ( MIL QUESTION)

^^ what she said

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Re: what does it mean ( MIL QUESTION)

oh and by the way my wife initially had some problem with the "requests" of my mom for wearing something special ...... like ager birthday ho rahee hai tu ammi nai keh deay "XXXX wo yyy wala suit pehen ker mujhey bhee pictures bhijwana" ... and my wife used to get all upset k "I have to wear it why should I listen to HER" .... but my begum came to terms and understood the logic behind it when I refused to wear a blazer that my wife bought for me and wanted me to wear that at some function and all I said was "I have to wear something why should I listen to YOU" ...thats all it took for her to realize that if someone buys something for you with lot of love, it HURTS rejecting such requests.

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Re: what does it mean ( MIL QUESTION)

You sound like a brat.

16

who?

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Re: what does it mean ( MIL QUESTION)

wow.. thats what we call making the mountain out of a mole hill!

by the way, did you forget to mention or she hasn't asked you the million dollar question about the baby yet?

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Re: what does it mean ( MIL QUESTION)

You are reading too much into what she says. Honestly, you should be grateful your MIL doesnt speak much, and yet here you are. LIke they say, we are never happy with what we have. And why should the MIL be all chummy with you? She is not your mom, she is your MIL. She can be respectful and that should be enough. My MIL says some things to hubs that she doesnt to me but i have yet to get offended because shes HIS mother. My mother says those things to me too so i know i am loved.

19

Salaam there,

I went through exactly the same thing as when I was engaged and was told by all that I was imagining it etc. And all I can say that this is VERY bad sign. Do not ignore your gut instincts, and do not delude yourself that all will be ok. Make dua and protect yourself in every way possible.

DO not think maybe its you. Trust me I have been there...

20

Re: what does it mean ( MIL QUESTION)

What the heck? She sounds like she is maintaining a healthy distance from her DIL. Bad signs are when she tries creating problems between husband and wife. Honestly, if I was a MIL, I would give my daughter in law space. I wouldn't get too chummy with her, because in my experience, whenever you get too chummy with people there are problems. She probably has no reason to get realy close to you, and honestly, with this kind of attitutde, your MIL is probably thinking you don't like her and may be why she is keeping her talk short.

Jesus. People. Really.