Re: What does Islam say?
Firsty. don’t the men do the SAME thing - but they do it even more eg have sex before marriage then nearly ALWAYS expect to marry a virgin wife.. Why pick on the girls for this - oh yeah typical desi attitude that that ‘boys will be boys’ and are somehow allowed to act this way whilst girls must be pulled up on it..
Regarding the link in red that site is regarded as joke, it is only taken seriously by ppl from the Indian subcontinent, just to illustrate my point here is some of the other backward cutlural rubbish the promote (Advice for grown women/wives lol):
**Guidance for the muslim wife ( the method of living together ) **
Before shutting the door at night, make certain that no cat or dog is left in the house. Sometimes they can harm a person at night. Even if they do not cause any harm, they make a din all night and prevent you from sleeping.
Occasionally place your clothing and books out in the sunlight.
Keep the house clean and tidy.
Do not make yourself accustomed to leisure if you desire good health. Do some manual work. The best manual task for women is to use the hand-mill (to grind flour). It keeps the body healthy.
When going to meet someone do not sit for too long nor converse at length. This may frustrate or disturb her in her work
All the family members should be particular in fixing a place for everything. This will prevent time being wasted when the object is required.
Do not place a bed, chair, utensil, brick, stone or slab on the way. This can injure someone who accidently knocks it, especially in the dark.
When anyone tells you to do something, reply immediately either in the affirmative or in the negative so that he/she knows whether you are going to do the task or not.
Sprinkle less salt on the food, because if there is less it can always be remedied but if there is an excess it is difficult to correct.
Do not cut chillies and place them in daal or vegetable curry. Grind them instead, because by cutting, the seed remains in the pieces. If any piece comes in the mouth, it burns severely.
If you happen to drink water at night, look carefully into the utensil and if there is no light, place a cloth etc. over it before drinking so that no particles go in the mouth.
Do not throw a child up in the air jokingly nor let him hang out of the window. This can seriously injure the child.
When a utensil is emptied always wash it and place it upside down. When you want to use it again, wash it first.
After placing a utensil on the ground when dishing food into it, do not place it on the table or daster khwan without first wiping the bottom.
If you are visiting someone at his/her house do not ask for anything. It may be insignificant but it can be embarrassing if the person does not have the required item.
Do not spit or clean your nose where other people are sitting. If there is a need, excuse yourself and go to one side.
Whilst partaking of meals do not mention something which can offend the listener and make him feel uncomfortable.
Do not mention anything in front of a sick person or his family that make them lose hope in his life. He will be heartbroken. Comfort him by saying that Insha-Allah your illness will soon be cured.
If you want to mention something about a person while he is also present then do not indicate to him by winking or by gestures. He will unnecessarily be placed in doubt. This can only be done if the statement is permissible in Shariat, otherwise if it is unlawful then to make such a statement will be sinful.
Do not gesticulate too much when speaking.
Do not clean your nose with your dress or sleeve.
Do not cleanse yourself where there is urine and stool. Move one step away to purify yourself.
Always dust your shoes before wearing them. There can be a harmful creature inside. Similarly dust your clothes and bed as well.
If a woman has a boil on her private part do not ask her where it is as this can be embarrassing.
Do not sit in a place where people are moving about. This causes unnecessary obstruction.
Do not let any smell arise on the body or clothing. If you do not have a clean pair of clothes, wash the one you are wearing and take a bath.
Do not sweep where people are sitting.
Do not throw pits and peels on anyone nor on the road.
**29. Do not play with a knife, scissors, needle or any sharp instrument. You may be careless and hurt yourself.
Do not emerge from the bathroom or toilet tying your clothing on the back, rather wear the clothing properly inside.
If someone asks you something, first answer him and then proceed with other work.
Whenever you say anything or answer anyone, open your mouth properly and speak clearly so that the next person understands what you are saying.
If you have to give someone something, do not throw it from far. Damage will be caused if the other person does not hold it. Give it from close by.
One should not speak or scream between two persons that are teaching and learning or conversing.
If someone is involved in some work or conversation, do not go and begin speaking with him immediately. Wait for an opportunity and only begin speaking when he turns his attention towards you.
**37. When giving anyone something, do not remove your hands until the person has held it properly. Sometimes due to a slight negligence, damage is caused. **
When eating, gather the bones in one place. Similarly do not spread peels etc. of anything all around. When all are gathered, place them on one side.
**39. Do not run or put your head up when walking. You may fall. **
Close a book carefully. Very often the first and last pages get folded.
Do not praise a (ghair mahram) man in front of your husband. Some men get highly offended.
Similarly do not praise other women in front of your husband. **He may become inclined to her and leave you. **
Do not ask someone about her home, wealth, jewellery and clothing when meeting her if you are not closely associated to her.
Specify 3 or 4 days a month for cleaning the entire house. Remove all webs, lift the mats, sweep under them and put everything in its place.
You should not take a written note or book away from in front of someone to read it yourself. It may contain something personal which is not meant for you.
46. Be very careful when ascending and descending steps. It is better if you place your one foot on the steps, then place the other one on the same step as well. Then advance to the next step in a like manner. It is not suitable for girls and ladies to have one foot on one step and another on another step. Prevent the children also in their infancy.
Do not dust your clothing or a book where someone is sitting in such a manner that dust falls on him. Similarly you should not blow with your mouth or dust with a cloth but instead you should go further away and dust it.
On hearing news about someones grief, worry or sickness do not mention it to anyone unless you have made certain. His relatives especially should not be told, because if the information is wrong, it will unnecessarily worry other people.
Similarly do not inform distant relatives if there is a slight illness as this may cause unnecessary concern and anxiety.
Do not spit or put paan (betel-leaf) on the wall. Similarly do not merely wipe your hands on the wall or door. Wash them instead.
If there is need for more food on the table, do not take a utensil from in front of someone. Instead, take the food in another dish.
If someone is sitting on the bed or lying down, do not call him. If you pass by, walk in such a manner that you do not bump the bed. If you want to put something on that bed or take something, do so quietly.
Do not leave food uncovered. Even if you leave something on the table that is going to be eaten last, cover it also.
The visitor should leave a little food on the table if he is satisfied so that the host does not get the impression that the food was less and thereby feel ashamed.
Whichever utensil is completely empty and has to be put in the cupboard or unit should be placed upside down.
When walking, lift your foot completely and step forward. Do not drag your feet. Apart from wearing out the shoe, it also looks unmannerly.
Always be careful that a portion of the scarf or shawl does not hang on the ground.
If someone asks for salt or for some other food, bring it in a utensil, not in the hand.
Do not speak of shameless things in front of girls as this can make them lose their modesty.
Lol… I am NOT AT ALL saying that men do not use Islam for their own interest… Its just that the thread is on the topic of living with/ caring for in-laws by girls that is why I mentioned those links… I agree with you.. even shareef desi men have all the fun in their youth, having gfs, flirting etc and when they decide to get married, they try to look for a pious girl whom no man has ever put his eye on… My post was just on the topic of girls making excuses of NOT living with in-laws.. nothing personal about DILs… (btw, I am a girl myself and will soon be somebody’s DIL Insha Allah, although I plan on having the best of relations with my in-laws and I would love living with them, I am not hijabi and am moderate in my practices, I guess it all depends on personal choices… May Allah give me patience and guidance on this)…
Regarding the link… I do not know about the site, I wanted to quote MUFTI TAQI USMANI who is a great scholar. The web site just present this article by MUFTI TAQI USMANI… I am not at all promoting the site
There are many other sites which quote MUFTI TAQI USMANI’s same article like
http://www.central-mosque.com/fiqh/strwife.htm
