The word is thrown around a lot, without really explaining what it entails.
Your definition please, along with an example?
Re: What does emotional abuse in context of desi relationships?
Hmm. Maybe not expressing love to your partner? Just using him or her for personal gains?
Re: What does emotional abuse in context of desi relationships?
Why does it have to be in the context of a desi relationship in particular? Should we expect a different standard of treatment to non-desis?
“You’re fat/ugly/useless/stupid” etc
People sometimes say things in the heat of the moment, perhaps during an argument or something, but if anything like that is said on a regular basis I’d call that emotional abuse.. Also malicious gossip (for ex “my wife is a sl*t”)..
Re: What does emotional abuse in context of desi relationships?
Don’t think the bit in bold could be called emotionally abusive.. it’s not directly trying to hurt them after all..
Re: What does emotional abuse in context of desi relationships?
Yeah agree with Deeba..its continously putting someone down..whether its “you’re ugly, slutty, a b*tch, dumb, stupid, fat, etc etc” just trying to constantly belittle them
If someone says it in the heat of the moment during a fight I wouldn’t necessarily call it emotional abuse, we all have said things we don’t necessarily mean when angry. It’s not right but not abuse. If the person is doing it frequently and continously even when not really in a heated argument then yeah that’s emotional abuse.
Re: What does emotional abuse in context of desi relationships?
Narcissism - I pray my narcissistic tendencies don’t rear their ugly head once I’m married. It’s very difficult to stop being narcissistic.
Re: What does emotional abuse in context of desi relationships?
continuously make someone sad is also an example of emotional abuse.
Re: What does emotional abuse in context of desi relationships?
Desi’s are great at making people feel guilty and like they never can do enough.
Re: What does emotional abuse in context of desi relationships?
If your wife has stage fright and she mentions that it would be hard for her to give a presentation for an event at your work or at a social function and you say that she’s a "selfish btch for not doing the presentation. Emotionally the woman would feel lower than ever. That could be an example.
If she makes a mistake and you constantly bring up how worthless or useless she is for making that error.
Or the girl that you are with is not someone you would marry so you say how you’re only with her until your parents find you a great match from Pakistan that’s gorgeous. Saying something like girls in the old country are more pure or virginal just because they were raised there as opposed to girls raised abroad. You constantly say it to your girlfriend, her self esteem would be nonexistent.
Your wife goes shopping for basic necessities like groceries and you ask for the receipt so you can get money back for the money she spent. if she can’t cough up the money you take her belongings and blackmail her until she gets the money for you. In the process use condescending, belittling words to make her feel worthless.
She asks you to do something for her that would mean the world to her but you’re really cold to her about it and could care less when she brings it up she is still responded to with apathy…that would be an example.
A woman asks the man she loves to be faithful and committed only to her but he feels some sort of excitement by having more than one woman to fool around with, I guess that would be another example of making another person feel excruciating amounts of pain when they are obviously in love or in a relationship/marriage with you.
Re: What does emotional abuse in context of desi relationships?
Damn…are you talking from experience, if so I’d like to apologize on behalf of all such men, what an a$$
Re: What does emotional abuse in context of desi relationships?
Actually two guys that I had the unfortunate luck of being around and finally setting myself free from them. I didn’t want to cause more negative energy by putting in the countless other experiences with them. I think the op hopefully got the jist.
Should’ve seen the red flags and had more self confidence to leave earlier.
I’ll say if anything, they made me stronger. Thanks for the kind words.