What do you think about a Muslim man marrying a Hindu woman?

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I am sure this question has been addressed in these forums before, but I would like to know the personal opinion of the readers as well the view according to Islam.

Actually this is a personal question for me - my family is a Hindu family settled in the US with children born in the US. My daughter tells me that she has met a Muslim man (his parents are from Pakistan) and that they may decide to marry soon. (She is close to 30 and lives on her own - this is the US!).

I am a Hindu, but like many Hindus, I am tolerant of other religions and believe that they are just different paths to the same God. My relatives in India will be very upset if my daughter marries a Muslim (and a Pakistani), but that is something I will have to handle. He may insist that she converts - I will have to handle that also (I have not met him yet).

But I am curious, how do you think his relatives and family will react and what do Muslims in general think of such a situation?

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Re: What do you think about a Muslim man marrying a Hindu woman?

Are you for real? If you are such a tolerant person why bother about what others think as long as the son-in-law and daughter are happy and content? Just as you are ready to handle your upset relatives the groom's family will be ready to handle their upset relatives. After all they are taking a very important step. On the other hand, you claim to be a hindu and you are ready to accumulate sin on yourself by blessing the union of a Mlechha man with a dharmic woman. By giving your daughter in marriage to a worthy Dharmic man, the very act of Kanyadaan will absolve the parents of their sins. Here you are ready to do the opposite. How can you be a practicing Hindu then? I am sure the muslims have a similar version of not marrying women of Abrahamic religions. To test their commitment and love for each other why not suggest that they convert to each others religion and have a civil marriage? Then you will realize whether it is love that is driving their lives or religion and who loves whom how much and what their priorities are.

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Re: What do you think about a Muslim man marrying a Hindu woman?

I am real enough - why wouldn't I be? I don't believe in this Mlechha man stuff (not sure if I have heard this term before) - actually I am a believing Hindu, but not that much of a practicing one (other than visiting the local temple at least a few times a month and being part of a weekly satsangh - my daughter does not do even that).

My relatives will all be upset, but they are far away in India and I am sure eventually they will accept (at least to some degree). I was more curious about the reaction of *his *family and relatives (I don't think he has told his parents yet). BTW, he is apparently a devout Muslim, so conversion for him is out of the question - I am going to try to tell him that it is not necessary for my daughter to convert - we will see how that goes!

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Re: What do you think about a Muslim man marrying a Hindu woman?

I think Islam does not permit it. A muslim man should know that marrying other than monotheists is not permitted in Islam. He will do it out of his desire, but Islam does not permit it. Islam requires of him to marry her if and when she converts. 

�Do not marry unbelieving women until they believe. A slave woman who believes      is better than an unbelieving woman, even though she allure you� (al-Baqarah,      221).

No flame wars, por favor. A simple question should result in a simple and straight forward answer. It goes both ways. Muslim woman to a Hindu man, etc.

Unbelieving refers to Polytheist/Atheist/non-monotheist. Believing refers to Monotheist.

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Re: What do you think about a Muslim man marrying a Hindu woman?

As Teggy rightly pointed out a practicing Muslim will not marry a Polytheist/Atheist/non-monotheist.

You have a simple solution.

You along with all your family should convert to Islam:

1) that will make your soon-to-be son in law happy

2) for sure that will make your daughter very happy

3) as per your statement that that Hindus are tolerant of other religions you should have no problems with your relatives as they should practice this proverbial ‘Hindu Tolerance’ and have no adverse reaction. If they do then they aren’t ‘good’ Hindus.

4) as per your statement ‘I am tolerant of other religions and believe that they are just different paths to the same God’ it should make no difference to you too. Firstly, you like rest of Hindus are tolerant. Secondly, you have only changed the path which leads to your desired destination (same God).

5) Islam is the ‘shortest’ short-cut to Salvation – no need to get caught in vicious cycle of re-incarnation.

Think on these lines.

The only problem that I can see is that soon-to-be son in law is Pakistani - now that is a big problem and a headache for you. I am sure as a tolerant person you will overcome this as well.

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Re: What do you think about a Muslim man marrying a Hindu woman?

Peace,

I would like to add that a Muslim/Muslima shouldn't marry to revert a non-Muslims towards 'Islam' as it is disliked or prohibited in Islam b'coz that revert towards Islam will be purely for the sake of marriage.

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Re: What do you think about a Muslim man marrying a Hindu woman?

So your daughter is not religious. In my experience, marrying a conservative or religious person is a difficult thing if one partner is not religious. It is even more so if the religious and conservative partner belongs to a different religion altogether. I have seen cases where these types of marriages break down later in a few years when the first blush of love slowly recedes. The most successful marriages are those where the partners were just cultural followers of their respective religions. The few case I have seen, the converted woman is not completely accepted by the grooms immediate family. They will scrutinize her more. If children are involved, it is even more of a problem where many elders may feel that the converted woman may not do a good enough job. I have seen a case of the in-laws' tug of war with their daughter-in-law over their grandkids upbringing. As for you prospective son-in-law, if he is so conservative and religious, then why did he mingle with non-muslim women when there are so many muslim females around? Is it not forbidden in their religion? Ask your son-in-law if he is ready to accept Hinduism in Aryasamaj. After all the bride does not have to convert always. you live in US the land of equal opportunity, What is good for the goose is certainly good for the gander. Depending on his answer you will have an idea as to where the marriage will be 10 years down the line and how accepted your daughter will be and if she is being accepted not because of her other excellent qualities but only because she is ready to change her religion. After all the boy does see something in her that he like enough to spend the rest of his life with and that is definitely not her religion.

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Re: What do you think about a Muslim man marrying a Hindu woman?

I am not sure why I (or my family) would need to convert to Islam, but to examine your points:

  1. I agree it will make my son-in-law-to-be happy.
  2. It will not make my daughter happy. She is not a practicing Hindu (though I think she is a believer). I can't imagine her wanting to be a practicing Muslim (which probably requires much more effort).
  3. Hindus maybe tolerant of other religions believing them to be different paths to the same God, but they don't believe that other paths are better (or shorter), otherwise they would have converted long ago. Actually most Hindus may be tolerant of other religions in the sense they will respect them and not interfere with them, but intermarriage with them is strictly forbidden (so my relatives would be good Hindus if they got upset). And let me be honest - I am not exactly happy that she found a Pakistani Muslim.
  4. I am very tolerant of all paths. I have also read a lot of Christianity, less of Islam and Judaism. I think both Christianity and Islam are good religions, but they are limited and take a simpler view of God and the human condition. Any information you need about God or Man or Life, you will find in Hinduism (unfortunately there is a lot of confusion that you have to sift through first). Judaism I am afraid is not to be recommended. I think everyone should stay with the religion they were born in, but try to understand the others.
  5. Reincarnation exists whether you are a Hindu or a Muslim. There is no way out (Maybe requires another thread to discuss?). Personally I don't believe Islam is a shorter path.

His being a Pakistani is a bigger problem for my relatives in India (including Hindu friends of my generation in the US), maybe not much for my daughter's generation within the US.

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Re: What do you think about a Muslim man marrying a Hindu woman?

I am not sure if this is a stumbling block or not. My daughter knows that I think that Islam is a valid/good religion, and she probably agrees with me on that. So if she converts to Islam , it would be for the marriage, but she would still be a believer. Is that enough?

I mean she would be a believer in Islam and its practices, but she may not necessarily believe that it is better than Hinduism.

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Re: What do you think about a Muslim man marrying a Hindu woman?

Actually I need to see how conservative or religious he is. My daughter says he is a devout Muslim, but she maybe just comparing him to her own practice of her religion. The only thing I am sure is that he definitely does not believe in Hinduism, but I am also sure he is not a conservative Muslim in the sense of a conservative person in Pakistan or India,

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Re: What do you think about a Muslim man marrying a Hindu woman?

Peace mdroshan,

You wants views according to the Islam and that we have given to you, and this is absolutely a stumbling block because the revert to religion Islam is purely for the sake of marriage.

It is like adopting a different lifestyle or traditions and trying to mix n match oneself into it but that changes required more time and won't become effective over a night. Like changing the surname in any documents won't change the true identity or reality of a person. Read post #2 & 7. Calypsodc highlighted many points which may be cause failure to this marriage.

Love is blind and in blindness of love to your daughter, if you still wants her to revert to Islam and after that marry him (the Muslim), I say give her a time to learn Islam including yourself, at least for a year, then decide whether still you wants her to get married to him or not.

P.S. I believe every child born as a Muslim but their parents turns them into different believer. So converting means turning to something different or new, however reverting mean returning to the same origin path.

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Re: What do you think about a Muslim man marrying a Hindu woman?

Actually this is exactly what I told her - to wait 2 years (actually I said 3 years, but she said that was too long). I did not say she should study Islam or anything else in the meantime.

But I will still be meeting the man in the next few weeks - I have insisted that the man learn something about Hinduism from me - maybe I will write him a long email about Hinduism before I meet with him (I am sure my daughter will learn about Islam from him). I am more worried about his parents/family and how they will react and treat her - I suppose I need to discuss this with him.

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Re: What do you think about a Muslim man marrying a Hindu woman?

Peace mdroshan,

That is what exactly meant by Calypsodc when he said marrying to a mlechha [non-vedic] in his post #2. His parents/family member, I guess (may be) worried too when they’ll come to know that he wanna marry someone out of their religion, same as you. Moreover every parents wish to marry their kidz within family or with close relatives and the same is expected by the family members and relatives too.

I think it is irrelevant to you but just wanted to say that pick the english translation book of Qur’an and start reading it by yourself NOT by your daughter and try to understand the religion Islam or at least get and idea about it. In the meanwhile meet the parents of him and give them book of your religion i.e., Vedas in english and let them read it and see how they react. Its all matter on time and hope the time will be best in interest of you and all.

Good-luck :k:

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Re: What do you think about a Muslim man marrying a Hindu woman?

First of all I must correct myself. As the above suggests that others paths are longer path to Salvation - that is erroneous.

Muslims believe that Islam is the ONLY Path to Salvation. All other paths lead to ruination.

Clearly you can see that there are ‘Steep hurdles’ ahead in this relationship. Once the novelty of the marriage wears off the hurdles will rear their ugly heads. Trivial disputes will lead straight into major ones.

I find the blame lies squarely on the shoulders of your potential ‘son in law’.

As a practicing Muslim he should have known better that he cannot marry a Hindu girl. And that he cannot force her to accept Islam or make her a Muslim just for convenience of marrying her. This is completely unacceptable in Islam.

Your daughter has to accept Islam as a correct and the ONLY path to Salvation of Mankind and not hold any other paths as legitimate.

I fully sympathize with the situation that you and your daughter are in.

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Re: What do you think about a Muslim man marrying a Hindu woman?

I think I will understand the situation better when I talk to him and find out how he sees it and how he thinks his family will see it.

Thanks for everyone's input.

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Re: What do you think about a Muslim man marrying a Hindu woman?

Hi mdroshan,

You're a wise man to do your own research in this matter beforehand. Some of the posters have given you the Islamic perspective here and so here's a bit of the personal opinion: the beauty of the Pakistani families is that they vary significantly in their views on all trivial things including marrying outside the religion as is the case. Depending on where the family and particularly the guy stands on the religious scale will determine how seriously and how much respect is paid towards this marriage.

The key is that whom Muslims consider to be very religious differs quite a bit from what non-Muslims consider religious - on the whole. For instance, this guy may be classified as a devout Muslim because of his firm conviction in the oneness of God and the belief in the Quraan and that's where it ends. For an outsider that may be deemed as a devout Muslim. For other Muslims, that isn't exactly above average devoutness - just the bare minimum. So you're correct in your conclusion that these matters can only be determined after you've met the potential suitor for your daughter.

Culturally speaking, again depending on how patriotic and how strongly the family identifies with being Pakistani, your daughter may or may not have a very tough time being accepted. Most Pakistanis would be okay with their kids marrying any Muslim so long as they are not Black (!). Hindus are probably next on the list as sad as it sounds. You, as the father, are rightful in your concern and for asking these questions.

Best to you and your daughter, let us know how the meeting goes!

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Re: What do you think about a Muslim man marrying a Hindu woman?

This is excellent information. I too am hoping that when my daughter says he is a devout Muslim that it just means that he is a strong believer, not a strict practicioner (like I am a strong believer in Hinduism). That should make it easier for my daughter (but very likely his parents are stricter in their practices). I don't want ask my daughter detailed questions about his practices etc - that would be like an interrogation.

As for the meeting - after I told the daughter that she should wait for two years, she does not think the meeting is that urgent. And I don't want to push it, in the hope that the whole thing will quietly go away. It sounds quite funny when you think about it. But I am sure the meeting will happen one of these days (I should mention that my daughter is completely independent - financially etc, in fact in a few years I may depend on her more than she does on me).

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Re: What do you think about a Muslim man marrying a Hindu woman?

mdroshan Wishing you peace

It is evident from your posts that you are a very kind, devoted and caring father. Your endeavor to post on this board shows that you are sounding out opinions from Muslims so that you can gather all the information before you can advise your daughter.

I can clearly sense pessimism and anxiety in your posts. Your wisdom and life experience makes you feel this way. Rightly so.

Even though you don’t wish it but deep down in your heart (and mind) you know that daughter is venturing into relationship that will eventually fail. And as a devoted father you don’t want to see your daughter being hurt.

For this relationship to succeed both your daughter and her husband-to-be have to be extremely secular and religion being least of their concern.

Even if your potential son-in-law is “a strong believer, not a strict practitioner” he will try to instil Islamic values and practices in his children.

You as a proud grandfather will love to narrate tales from Ramayana to your grandchildren. Take them to Temple on Hindu festivals and participate in Hindu rituals – This is your fundamental right.

Your potential son-in-law and his immediate relatives may find that very offensive. Muslims (practicing or not) are strictly Monotheists. This I believe is the time-bomb which will trigger bickering and internal strife. I guess deep down this is your hidden fear too.

I really sympathize with you. You without a doubt want your daughter to happy – this wish from the first day you set eyes on her. Without trying to hurt her you are desperately to trying resolve the quandary your daughter (or her fate) has put herself in knowing full well that whatever you do it is a hopeless case.

My advice to you is to meet your potential son-in-law quite a few times to see what makes him tick.

Question him why wants to marry a Hindu girl when his religion expressly forbids it.

Question him about his immediate family's position on him marrying a Hindu girl.

Question him about your (potential) grandchildren and your relationship with them.

The answers you get will help you understand the situation better.

I just feel sorry for you that you are in such a difficult situation. As a good father you are desperately trying to help your daughter for her happiness (knowing full well that it is a hopeless case).

As the saying goes that Love is blind – and it blinds those who are in Love – they see future as bed of roses – and completely blind to pot-holes full of thorns lurking under the roses.

Wishing you good luck to all

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Re: What do you think about a Muslim man marrying a Hindu woman?

If they are a wise bunch, then it should be ok. This isnt the first marriage between an indian Hindu and Pakistani Muslim. I know a couple here, they have been married for a number of years.

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Re: What do you think about a Muslim man marrying a Hindu woman?

And what about according to Islam, as inquired by OP?

Never mind. I do not seek to indulge in anything that would cause rifts on points of view. It is preferred the OP ask any additional questions. I apologize.