when your parents can’t even decide on a date to get you wed and there is no open dialogue between you and your parents on the subject. All your communication on the topic is via your sister/sis-in-law/bros and each time they give you a date and you pass it onto your friends ( so the plans can begin) they go and change it again and extend it for another year. You are not dying to get married but of embarrassment - your friends are becoming increasingly alarmed at the continuous delays and extensions and you wouldn’t be surprised if they were making a mockery of you once your back is turned.
The latest extension comes just after a final final final ‘final’ date is set for February. Talk is rife of the colour of your lehnga, the type of jewellery and so and so forth. Naturally, you share with your friends who are excited by the prospect and are penning down the music to which they will grace the dancefloor on your mehndi..when lo and behold as usual for the umpteenth time everything is rescheduled.
I would be a little concerned as to why the date keeps being extended. That's just me though.
Talk to your parents directly about the situation. You have to stop relying on others to communicate with them when you have thoughts and opinions to share on the matter. Talk to one parent only if you feel comfortable enough.
I would have a talk with those aunts and uncles who set up dates, along with my parents, while all are listening and tell them whats on my mind. And let them know that I am not a ragdoll(in a nice manner) and that I need to get on with my life as well. Then I might or might not make an ultimatum, depending on how the response is, and give a rough time-frame on when I'd like it to be, after discussing them on when they can "make it happen".
Regarding friends, I'd probably not tell them until I was fairly certain that things were moving forward, by looking at what parents are doing and seeing when they start to get real serious. Or if I have already told them, I'd tell them, "this date has been set, but it may be changed due to some unresolved issues". This way they can get their "practicising" over with and just wait for the day to arrive.
Mehnaz, marriage is such a closed topic in my family its only now that we actually discuss it a little more openly...i'll see what happens. And oh the reason for delays have been various..Gran dying, his sisters expecting kids at the wrong times and now i guess it'll be Feb is too soon, July is too hot, December no hols for the kids and....i'll be single forever :D
Munni, i wish i could be a little more stern and assertive...i let them do what they want with my life and never complain... ( well apart from on gs ) :p
[QUOTE] Originally posted by *Disco~Duck: *
Munni, i wish i could be a little more stern and assertive...i let them do what they want with my life and never complain... ( well apart from on gs ) :p
[/QUOTE]
Believe you me, I'm usually not that assertive either, and I was deathly afraid to tell my parents that I need to move on with my life and thus they need to figure out whats going to happen at the house, which of course I would help out in, but I had to do it, and am I glad I did. Sometimes you need to take things into your own hands, as difficult as it may be.
[QUOTE] Originally posted by *Disco~Duck: *
And oh the reason for delays have been various..Gran dying, his sisters expecting kids at the wrong times and now i guess it'll be Feb is too soon, July is too hot, December no hols for the kids and....i'll be single forever :D
[/QUOTE]
You can't make everyone happy. Whatever date you'd set, there will be people who miss out. So the message for your parents and whoever else sets the date is: Get done with it once and let the date be where you set it. If someone can't make it on that day: C'est la vie.
Can't really comment on why the date keeps changing but just wanted to say......don't worry about feeling embarrassed in front of your friends. If they're proper friends then they would never make a mockery of you behind you back.
