What do you do about parents who don’t like the girl you like for marriage just because the girl isn’t as rich as they are?
And when they cloak it in different words like “We have a different lifestyle”?
It’s totally NOT a issue of dowry. Nor are my parents proud people. They’ve been friends with the girl’s parents for a very long time. The girl and I are childhood friends.
But this time, my usually very open minded parents are behaving very strangely. It’s like, they are so skeptical about the marriage. Like as if they are not sure the girl would fit in…
Sit with them, ask them, discuss with them. Sometimes they see what hum mohabbat k marey cant and if you still feel that they dont have any valid argument, produce powerful counter argument
there is some (if not lot) to think before marrying whether that person can suit/adjust your family's lifesytyle n social interactions..........she might be different and not able to do those thing due to her back ground being different than yours......................so those things do need to be considered and discussed.
What do you do about parents who don't like the girl you like for marriage just because the girl isn't as rich as they are?
And when they cloak it in different words like "We have a different lifestyle"?
It's totally NOT a issue of dowry. Nor are my parents proud people. They've been friends with the girl's parents for a very long time. The girl and I are childhood friends.
But this time, my usually very open minded parents are behaving very strangely. It's like, they are so skeptical about the marriage. Like as if they are not sure the girl would fit in...
if itz just about adjustment then i think since the girl is ur childhood friend, she would be knowing better about it..and still if she wants to marry u it means thats not an issue for her may be...
i wonder what they mean by "fit in". like others said, your parents love you so get that clarified from them with an open mind.
this is marriage and if you want a successful marriage you should think long and hard about whether the two families will get along and all the pieces in the puzzle fit decently well together, is this childhood friend willing to totally integrate into your family and you with hers?
write back about what your parents say when you ask them what they meant by "fit in" with regards to your significant other.
Perhaps they are thinking about what other relatives might think? Desis tend to care about their standards and image.
Or perhaps they are worried that the girls' family may come to rely on your family, financially, a bit too often?
If you are childhood friends, I would think the girl must be quite familiar with your way/ standard of life, isn't it? It shouldn't be that hard for her to fit in.
If you are sure of what you want and believe in the girl, convince them!
What do you do about parents who don't like the girl you like for marriage just because the girl isn't as rich as they are?
And when they cloak it in different words like "We have a different lifestyle"?
It's totally NOT a issue of dowry. Nor are my parents proud people. They've been friends with the girl's parents for a very long time. The girl and I are childhood friends.
But this time, my usually very open minded parents are behaving very strangely. It's like, they are so skeptical about the marriage. Like as if they are not sure the girl would fit in...
Knowing someone since childhood and living with them are two different things. I am not saying weddings between people of two different levels of society don't work BUT i also think its pushing your luck. It's not even about money alone, though it does matter but its more about your lifestyle. Most of the times i see people are damn rich but they dont have a very lavish lifestyle and at times you can be belonging to middle class but have a better lifestyle than the rich cuz maybe some people believe in living life to fullest and not really putting money in invesments, etc. I am sure you get the point. Hence the contrast in the lifestyle can be quite a task to adjust to in the already hard task "marriage". Maybe that's what your parents are seeing and you are not. Like for myself, i don't want to necessairly get married into a rich family but a family which atleast has same lifestyle as mine :)
Hmm, thanks for the replies guys. I'm going to talk to my parents again soon. What I don't understand, is that a drop in your living standards might be hard to adjust to. But how is it hard to adjust to a increase in standards???
I mean, if someone asked me to move into a palace, I wouldn't find it very difficult to adjust! lol :p
Concerns about what the family members might say may be present though...
Hmm, thanks for the replies guys. I'm going to talk to my parents again soon. What I don't understand, is that a drop in your living standards might be hard to adjust to. But how is it hard to adjust to a increase in standards???
I mean, if someone asked me to move into a palace, I wouldn't find it very difficult to adjust! lol :p
Concerns about what the family members might say may be present though...
Uh huh. It's not that she won't be happy to go into a family with a better living standard BUT she may not be able to accomodate herself in such a lifestyle. That could be your parents concern. It's not as easy as being happy that you are gonna be getting a bigger home, a better car, etc BUT it's about her being able to fit in to the lifestyle. When the economy of a household changes, the whole pattern of life changes. Your parents and you might be use to of certain things in your life which she may find very odd or vice versa. It's about that.
Uh huh. It's not that she won't be happy to go into a family with a better living standard BUT she may not be able to accomodate herself in such a lifestyle. That could be your parents concern. It's not as easy as being happy that you are gonna be getting a bigger home, a better car, etc BUT it's about her being able to fit in to the lifestyle. When the economy of a household changes, the whole pattern of life changes. Your parents and you might be use to of certain things in your life which she may find very odd or vice versa. It's about that.
Wow...i wanted to say something....but you just took the words like RIGHT out of my mouth.:)