Re: What do you dislike about Pakistani Mentality
To answer your first question, I would say that double standards for the two genders…and in regards to marriage the double standards for the larki walay and the larkay walay. One of the best things about our culture and Eastern cultures in general is the regard and respect we have for elders, but sometimes it can be taken too far when elders “impose” upon their children things which Islam grants the latter rights for.
Things like deception, greed, jealousy, unprofessionalism, corruption are found all across the globe. I could add that choosing to follow unethical cultural beliefs over more just and fair beliefs of religion …but that happens everywhere…not only in Pakistan.
To answer your second question…there’s a difference between parents “wanting” you to marry someone from Pakistan and “forcing” you to marry someone from there. There is nothing wrong with the former because parents of all races and creeds “want” or desire certain things for their children; that’s natural. But it becomes unjust if you’re being pressured and emotionally blackmailed. The way to tackle this is through continuous dialog with your parents and if that doesn’t work, seek the help of a respected and influential family member who can reason with your parents on your behalf. If parents have a rishta in mind, then you can get into contact with the guy yourself and tell him you’re not interested. You keep persisting and eventually there comes a time when parents will move on. On the flip side…to sort of “appease” your parents, you can tell them that you’ll consider their choice…as in you’ll meet or talk to the guy they have in mind…but they have to understand that it’s not a guarantee you’ll say yes.