What are some aspects of Pakistani mentality that piss you off. Responses from people living in UK, USA and Australia are appreciated.
And how do you cope with your parents wanting you to marry someone from Pakistan when you know you might not get along due to differences in perspectives
Re: What do you dislike about Pakistani Mentality
btw, what is a typical ‘Pakistani Mentality’?
Re: What do you dislike about Pakistani Mentality
I don’t think all Pakistani people have a set mentality but some things that really irk me were just things I would hear.. mostly from older aunties or hear about happening in Pakistan to some unfortunate souls. Stuff like :
- how girls should not be working - should just manage a household. They had no choice but were just given an order
- a “man” who is old enough to get married but allows mistreatment of his wife and does nothing about it
- asking for a big dowry amount or suggesting that the groom’s parents ask for certain items
- being a woman and mentioning how sons are less of a burden
- in-laws not allowing their DIL and son to have a proper relationship to understand each other - happens a lot in arranged marriages
These are just things I’ve noticed or heard, this isn’t an attack on anyone
Re: What do you dislike about Pakistani Mentality
To answer your first question, I would say that double standards for the two genders…and in regards to marriage the double standards for the larki walay and the larkay walay. One of the best things about our culture and Eastern cultures in general is the regard and respect we have for elders, but sometimes it can be taken too far when elders “impose” upon their children things which Islam grants the latter rights for.
Things like deception, greed, jealousy, unprofessionalism, corruption are found all across the globe. I could add that choosing to follow unethical cultural beliefs over more just and fair beliefs of religion …but that happens everywhere…not only in Pakistan.
To answer your second question…there’s a difference between parents “wanting” you to marry someone from Pakistan and “forcing” you to marry someone from there. There is nothing wrong with the former because parents of all races and creeds “want” or desire certain things for their children; that’s natural. But it becomes unjust if you’re being pressured and emotionally blackmailed. The way to tackle this is through continuous dialog with your parents and if that doesn’t work, seek the help of a respected and influential family member who can reason with your parents on your behalf. If parents have a rishta in mind, then you can get into contact with the guy yourself and tell him you’re not interested. You keep persisting and eventually there comes a time when parents will move on. On the flip side…to sort of “appease” your parents, you can tell them that you’ll consider their choice…as in you’ll meet or talk to the guy they have in mind…but they have to understand that it’s not a guarantee you’ll say yes.
Re: What do you dislike about Pakistani Mentality
The worst part of the Pakistani mentality is how easily they take offense and react to rumours without evidence and play out hypothetical izzat beizzat situations in their minds, not doing acts of charity or kindness (in the fear of looking low) and end up alienating themselves from everyone else in their own household …
One person forgets about one thing or does something slightly unjust, then in retaliation the response is to react with indifference, the indifference is seen as a rebellion and then purposeful side-lining occurs, then showing off and furthering away in arrogance, and vice-versa … before long it is a huge chasm - all because of some slight mishap … Justification: O I want to avoid problems … “Nahein to na sahi” … that really irks me …
If I feel someone is avoiding me, or doing things out of spite for me … the first thing I do is a personal visit to them and ask them if they are in good health and du’a for them to their face … they can continue calling me stuff, but 99 times out of 100 the issue gets solved … But there is too much pride in our people to take that step … they feel “the problem starts from others” not from themselves … they will never question their own actions or inaction as a possible cause for the problem.
Re: What do you dislike about Pakistani Mentality
Blaming others for our own insecurities.
For example about the western agenda (girls’ education) in Pakistan that Malala (a normal useless girl according to some) is supposedly helping them complete:
BBC: What do you think about girls’ education.
Pakistani news editor: Girls education is good if it does not promote corruption.
BBC: Why would it do that?
Pakistani news editor: If girls and boys are side by side they will be more interested in each other than education.
BBC: So its mixed education that you have a problem with?
Pakistan news editor: Yeh.
BBC: But she (Malala) wasn’t going to a mix school.
Pakistani news editor: Yeh, I think she used to go to a primary school but in the later stage it gets mix.
What the hell?
Re: What do you dislike about Pakistani Mentality
I would say everything atm. 
Re: What do you dislike about Pakistani Mentality
Nothing. There are ills in every society…concentrate on the positives.
Re: What do you dislike about Pakistani Mentality
How dare you say this?
As a Pakistani I am offended by your comment and demand immediate apology.
Re: What do you dislike about Pakistani Mentality
^Don’t stop there. You can totally milk this. Rub it in and demand monetary recompense for your public baizzati, lol.
Re: What do you dislike about Pakistani Mentality
… As a Pakistani … heck if I will say sorry to you … you are just looking for an excuse to fight …
Re: What do you dislike about Pakistani Mentality
oh look, another mummy daddy who needs getting his/her head straight.
shhhhhh…
I dislike how they;ve managed to produce the worst scummiest spawns in the west 
Re: What do you dislike about Pakistani Mentality
Madness..
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We look for conspiracy theory behind every event. refuse to accept responsibility or look at our own weaknesses. For eg, if Pakistan cricket team wins a match it was because the players played very well if we lose it was because it was fixed.
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^That
Re: What do you dislike about Pakistani Mentality
^ does this mean all silent persons are confident?
I’ll start with what I like. Our rich culture, our sense of community and how pakistanis are renowned for.thier hospitality.
Things that I dislike
We are the world’s best conspiracy scientists
Rv rightly pointed out that we respect our elders. However in a lot of families they are given too much authority.
Your auntie jee gossip merchant
“log Kya kahein gaye” - this mentality is poisonous
The backbiting
Hypocrisy
Finally, the concept of.moderation is completely last on pakistanis from religion to parenting. They either let thier kids run completely wild.or take them hostage and don’t let them out anywhere. I’m not very religious (I mean I do the bare minimum) but I often get judged by the maulanas kids, the same kids who I seen out at the bar yesterday (I don’t Have a problem with that but I do with the hypocrisy)
Re: What do you dislike about Pakistani Mentality
If somebody asked me this a few months ago, I would have handed him/her a big book of problems I have with “Pakistani mentality.” Having dealt with the vast difference of mentalities in my own marriage and getting frustrated over not being understood, I came to this profound realization that the others feel exactly the way I feel about them. You tell me whose mentality is ill then? We are all operating from our own level of consciousness and in that case we are all right yet so wrong.
Re: What do you dislike about Pakistani Mentality
Some of them are not enough or not at all “Pakistanis”.
Whatever it is you might think, there is no such thing as “Pakistani Mentality”.
Re: What do you dislike about Pakistani Mentality
Those hating on Bollywood
Those who force us to think about our level of consciousness on a lazy Sunday morning.
And for good measure, supporters of foundation building.