Re: what did you girls wear UNDERNEATH the wedding dress.(Im not perving promise..lo
^ except for the fact that she's not "denying his rights" out of malice, she's doing it because she's uncomfortable with the idea and not yet comfortable with her husband either. i believe this needs to be taken with the right perspective.
her being forced into submitting to her husband when she's not comfortable about it, can lead to many other repercussions between the couple, and that's obviously not a good thing, and NOT a good way to start married life.
i think in this case, they are talking about a woman who refuses her husband out of malice or hatred or to get back at him or whatever negative. i don't believe it applies to a wedding night between two strangers. i am sure there other hadith that explain how to deal with that situation. after all, what about a woman with an abusive husband, for instance? will she also suffer the curses of angels if she refuses to bed the man who beats her? of course not.
its all about perspective.
plus, just as this exists to warn women not to meddle in this part of their married lives as it could cause trouble between a couple, i am sure there are similar directives to men to not force themselves on their women and to take care of this aspect of their married, and especially, newlywed lives too.