What did you do with your haq mahr?

[PyariCgudia]

Re: What did you do with your haq mahr?

@noladoodles

Haq meher is something religion grants you for your protection. Why are so many people dismissive of it? It is your right- why sacrifice it so easily? Also, what’s up with so many people asking for such negligible amounts that its not even worth having? It should be an amount that can support you for a little while in the event of a divorce or any unforseen circumstances. My grandmother had a house written as hers. Guess who got to continue living there with her kids when she was unexpectedly widowed at age 40 with 3 kids?

I got married in the US. Both my husband and I are born and raised here and are pretty non-traditional. However, we did uphold the mehr as it is religion, not tradition. I asked for what I considered a reasonable amount and he agreed. He could not afford it at the time since we were both in school. We agreed that he would pay it at a later date when he could afford it- the later date to be determined by me

I see so many sad stories of divorce and all kinds of traumas that girls go through in their marriages. When religion is offering you guys a way to protect yourself and any future offspring, why are you so quick to dismiss it. Nobody is going to watch out for your best interests and rights if you are so quick to give them up. In my family, girls are always given hefty mehrs (usually property). My in-laws thought what I asked for was super high (they do the sunnah amount). I politely reminded them that its a brides prerogative to determine her mehr amount and my hubby stepped in and said he agreed to pay whatever I asked. In-laws were nice about it and said that it was between me and their son. I did ask for an amount that was nowhere near the norm for my family (not a house) but it was enough for a nice downpayment.

On a side note, it always baffles me when people are willing to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars for a flashy valima but balk at paying a fraction of that for mehr. Ladies, that should give you a good strong hint about your value to them.

^ THIS.

The silliness of desi girls on this matter always baffled me.