What can be a possible solution?

[Helpp]

Re: What can be a possible solution?

@redvelvet

^Okay, alright, let’s work with that. I know that it’s tough to adjust to the US..especially if you don’t have a college degree. ANd many times those that do have one…end up going back to school as the credits don’t match up. So, yes, the adjustment period would be a challenge…and it’s a valid concern, I agree…though we know that it’s not a permanent situation…(as in one can eventually graduate and get a job, etc). Now I’m gonna give you one example…and these are people I know REALLY well. The couple (both doctors from Pakistan) moved to the US. The husband had trouble passing the MCAT and some other tests I think. He was a doctor in Pakistan…but he had to take care of some educational requirements after moving to the US. Guess what? He worked as a pizza delivery boy…and his wife was embarrassed. Now, even though I’ve never been in the wife’s situation…i think it’s wrong of her to feel that way. She cracked a few bitter jokes about him…and that’s messed up…considering that she KNEW he had a good job back home. And she DID live off of that meager salary he brought home, if she’s that embarrassed…she shouldn’t have done so. After a year…or maybe less than year…he started working as a doctor. She needed to be patient. And marriage entails supporting your partner through good times and bad times. Anyhow…they both moved back to Pak to be closer to family and are practicing medicine there. Now in your case…there may be a longer wait. But there’s no guarantee that someone who is more educated wouldn’t turn out to be a horrible spouse.

Have you tried discussing your concerns with your cousin? Maybe sit down and talk with him. Maybe look into options to help speed up the settling down process somehow.

Delivering pizza for a short while knowing everything will be fine after a few years is a little different than waiting 4-6 years for someone to get their degree while they’re still depending on you, and then another 2-3 to get a decent job. The guy is 24, not 20. And you’re MARRYING a person, not importing someone so they can make their life better with your passport. If she does go ahead with the nikkah right now (mother wants it after 3-4 years) it will take 1-2 years to process. After he gets here and then what? Part time jobs and START his education? He’ll be 30-31 by the time he gets his bachelors. And even if you take education out of the equation, there’s nothing much to look forward to. What will he do when he comes here? How will he adjust knowing he’s from a ‘small town’ back-home, not even Lahore or Karachi, but some other city.

The girl isn’t demanding anything ‘big’ or out of her league. She just wants someone who at least has a bachelors and can provide her a comfortable living, not a mansion.