That's a very good point and I think making everyone else happy will fall into the "instant gratification" category
For most of the part, yes.
I am not saying that the decisions that make people sad are always the right decsions. All I am saying that making a major decisions in life should not be based on how many people will be happy because of that.
"When faced with a difficult choice, make the decision which will make the most people happy"
... but what if the decision making the most people happy, makes you unhappy? And its a lifelong decision, not something to be taken lightly...
20 odd years from now those people will either be to busy in their own lives or ummmmm somewhere else. do whatever u think is right for u. not what makes others happy
There are right decisions. The ones that are good in long terms are the right ones. Instant gratifications often are results of wrong decisions
You see, what is good in the long term is very subjective. Also I accept your reasoning for calling something the right decision.
I don't agree however. I don't pretend I can predict the future. If we could see the future then yes, there would be a right or wrong answer. All I can make sure I do is, to make a decision that I have no regrets of making no matter how bad the situation becomes.
20 odd years from now those people will either be to busy in their own lives or ummmmm somewhere else. do whatever u think is right for u. not what makes others happy
Not even 20 years, give it 20 minutes....soeone will say Oh big deal, u didnt do me any favors.
So...NO....do whats best for your family and what makes you happy because those people won't be around to pat you on your back.
Not even 20 years, give it 20 minutes....soeone will say Oh big deal, u didnt do me any favors.
So...NO....do whats best for your family and what makes you happy because those people won't be around to pat you on your back.
but that's the problem. the people who want me take this step **are **my family... if it was some random stranger, I wouldn't think twice about putting my feelings first but its my parent's feelings on the line here... and that just makes it all the more difficult.
but that's the problem. the people who want me take this step **are **my family... if it was some random stranger, I wouldn't think twice about putting my feelings first but its my parent's feelings on the line here... and that just makes it all the more difficult.
Are you talking about love marriage scenario?
Like it is said earlier, the decision has to be made on what is right on the long term and not on someone's happiness for short term.
And that someone includes you too.
A complex situation cannot have simple answer for those who may not know the whole situation.
Re: What are your thoughts on this statement...?
the whole martyr act gets old real quick
look out for your own interests because nobody else will
*"When faced with a difficult choice, make the decision which will make the most people happy" * ... but what if the decision making the most people happy, makes you unhappy? And its a lifelong decision, not something to be taken lightly...
This is how I see it. If the decision is one that will affect YOU the most.......and if the decision is one whose consequences YOU will have to put up with.........then I don't think its reasonable to give the HAPPY OTHERS so much power.
For example, let's say that your family places pressure upon you to marry someone that you are JUST NOT attracted to. Let's say that you even gave this person a chance to get to know them......and you're still them. But you know that the match will make your immediate family and extended family (grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins) very happy...........well..........they will not be the ones who will live with this person. YOU will be the one who will have to face the ups and downs and other intricacies of marriage with this particular individual. Your family will not fight your battles with your spouse for you. So since such a decision will affect YOU in a physical/emotional/psychological levels........then you need to do what you know will give YOU more relief.
Let's say that a career is being imposed on you and you don't care for it much. Well, you're the one who will have to study for it and deal with it for the rest of your life........so I think you'd have more of a say.
I haven't read the rest of the thread so I'm not sure what "problem" or "decision" you're talking about. But, if family/friends disown you because you failed to please them..........then that's not right.
People can always work together on a compromise. You might reject a rishta that your whole family wanted.....but later you might pick someone whom both you and your family would like. You might not pursue their chosen career, but you might be able to convince them to see your point of view or perhaps decide a path that they might see some good in as well. Sometimes (not all the time) it's good and even healthy to be a bit selfish. Of course, this depends upon what the issue is. If you, let's say want to to drugs and your family disagrees, then common sense supports the family's decision over your personal happiness.