when some1 asks for you hand, you’ll marry him on which conditions?
let me start to make it clear for y’all
so what are ur conditions and plz dont say that where there is LOve there are no conditions cause i dont agree with that.everybody have there conditions trust me:D
Re: What are your conditions?
mine are more or less the same as urs
Re: What are your conditions?
umm for me it is important that
-he is well educated(masallah my one is)
-he lets me do wat i like in the sense that if i wana go shoppin i dont have to sit there until he comes bk easts his roti and then go
he has to have manners
let me work
he should also do his share of the houswork and wen we have kids he should also play an active role in their lives
Re: What are your conditions?
I dont understand the part about wanting "your own place:...do you gals mean that you want an apartment or something to get away from the hubby? Or is it to be used to get away from the in-laws?
The comments about "letting me drive" or go shopping or go to work just made me sad....I mean that should go without saying in this day and age. It should be a joint decision here absolutely without question!
If a guy isnt looking for a PARTNER then he should just hire by-the-hour. IMHO.
Re: What are your conditions?
"no other wives"
is polygamy an issue in arranged marriages these days? i mean, wouldn't your parents automatically refuse someone or kick up a fuss if he was already married when he proposed to you, or got married to someone else after you?
honestly, because i had all of the other worries listed (besides polygamy, its a strict no-no in our family) and more, i chose to go an entirely other route and picked my own hubby. it was'nt easier, i have to admit, in fact there was a whole lot of **** with him being white and non-muslim and the fact that i didnt tell my folks about him for 4 years (i had my reasons for that)...
but in the end, i know that im marrying someone who really loves me and cares for me, and took care of me through the craziness, and hung around with me even though we couldnt really date per se while i was living with my folks. and then he also dealt with all the **** that came from me moving out.
so. it took almost 5 years before things finally straightened out and people were happy again and speaking to me and now we're planning our wedding thank God.
i think going your own route is worth it if thats what you really want and you just cant stomach the thought of someone else telling you who to marry. i know every moment of it was worth it for me... i ended up learning tons about myself and the people around me and what really matters in life.
my biggest objection to the arranged marriage was that i wouldnt be able to date him and get to know him before i decided what i wanted... unless we got engaged first. well, sorry, but why should i have a broken engagement on my "record"? because of stupid convention and narrow minded people? i couldn't deal with that.
and i've heard it all- oh your parents know you best, oh look how many arranged marriages succeed, oh you cant decide who to marry (you're too young/naive etc.). bull****.
I know me best. no one else.
Maybe those marriages "succeed" because divorce is such a no-no, and theres no support in pakistani society for a single woman/mother.
I pay taxes, bills, student loans, I vote, I drive, I feed and clothe myself, I have a fulltime job, I have interests and hobbies, I'm a grownup adult woman. I'm not dependent on anyone else for the basics, so why the hell am I not qualified enough to pick my own husband?
(yes, i still have beef with the whole idea :p)
Re: What are your conditions?
So what about love, if all the above conditionalities are involved?
Re: What are your conditions?
She must work (apart from 1 maternity leave and additional time off for a few years if she wants to spend with kids)
We'll operate as a dual-income pooled money unanimous decision making family where we both have to agree on big expenses and trust each other to make smaller expenses responsibly
We will at some point move to Britain
Re: What are your conditions?
***^^^ She MUST WORK !!! …
***
***Oh maddiee , maddiee madieeeeeeeeee what am i gonna do wid you ! :no: ***
***
***
P.S … I think the most important thing for me would be honesty …if he is honest with me on ALL counts…i could live with him…No matter what !
I could never live with a person who lies or betrays my trust …
If U can’t be truthful with ur partner or able to trust him …u’d be better off on ur own…
P.P.S … HE MUST WORK …
Re: What are your conditions?
this thing should not be conditional :)
wat you are asking for are the rights wich every1 wants whether practises or not and some personal independence :)
Re: What are your conditions?
Hi Niyal!
Who decides what is considered a right and what is a condition? I do differenciate between a right and a conditionality. A right applies to ones own self; a conditionality applies to other person.
Actually, I whole-heartedly agree to KishMish. There are always conditions and rights with love.
Re: What are your conditions?
Re: What are your conditions?
She must be sane
She must be sane
She must be sane
She must be sane
She must not be a gold digger
She must think of her husband as a man and a husband and not a work horse
She must not nag
She must not have head aches (if you know what I mean)
I'll post some more later.
Re: What are your conditions?
^^^*** Diagnosis : PARANOIA :halo:***
Re: What are your conditions?
i want both of us to have our individual as well as mutual interests and my partner dusnt expect such things frm me tht i forget wot i really was ......
Re: What are your conditions?
hey, what about your bank accounts? Would you go for a joint savings one or prefer to have individual accounts.....Well, I would like to have my privacy with my transactions. Money may become a problem if both partners are working.
Re: What are your conditions?
i think both is best- have a joint one that you both contribute to and you both decide what to do with. and also have a separate one for each of you that you save in for personal use. and split your bills to make it even/appropriate to the amount of money each one is earning.
Re: What are your conditions?
Im gonna sound incredibly mad here but i neva had any conditions. i used to have all these ideas but when i met my hub it was all such a whirlwind and we got engaged within 6 weeks of meeting and married in 8 weeks. i was lucky he was a white convert so no family issues cos he didnt want to date me-he wanted to marry me. I fell pregnant straight away so i neva went back to work after having the baby and money was neva an issue cos i married some1 wealthy. I used to be a teacher but i was bored of it and i didnt need to do it. im obsessed with fitness and sport so hubby told me to do whateva made me happy so i became a fitness instructor cos stayin at home all day and just shopping drove me mad. I guess what im trying to say is that u can think abt stuff and set conditions all u want, but when something is meant to b, it just happens.
Re: What are your conditions?
Some of the things I read just make me 
What is all that about other wifes, permission for shopping, etc.
Re: What are your conditions?
i thought this wasnt abt love
Re: What are your conditions?
lol women, problem with having to work, or not to work...i mean the guy has no choice, he has to work, so y shud u hav a choice?