What an awesome story...

Society Religion & Philosophy
1

What an awesome story…

Aminah Assilmi
This American lady, a former radical feminist and Southern Baptist from
Oklahoma, studied the Quran, Sahih Muslim and fifteen other books on
Islam in an attempt to convert the Arabs in her college class to
Christianity and “save those poor ignorant heathens from the fires of hell.”
But guess what happened?

(© Aminah Assilmi. Published by Islamic Research and Information
Foundation)

The Introduction and Decision

I was completing a degree in Recreation, when I met my first Muslims.
It was the first year that we had been able to reregister by computer.
I preregistered and went to Oklahoma to take care of some family
business. The business took longer than expected, so I returned to
school two weeks into the semester (too late to drop a course).

I wasn’t worried about catching up my missed work. I was sitting at the
top of my class, in my field. Even as a student, I was winning awards,
in competition with professionals.

Now, you need to understand that while I was attending college and
excelling, ran my own business, and had many close friends, I was extremely
shy. My transcripts actually had me listed as severely reticent. I was
very slow to get to know people and rarely spoke to anyone unless was
forced to, or already knew them. The classes I was taking has to do
administration and city planning, plus programming for children. Children
were the only people I ever felt comfortable with.

Well, back to the story. The computer printout held one enormous
surprise for me. I was registered for a Theatre class…a class were I would
be required to perform in front of real live people. I was horrified! I
could not even ask a question in class, how was I going to get on a
stage in front of people? My husband was his usual very calm and sensible
self. He suggested that I talk to the teacher, explain the problem, and
arrange to paint scenery or sew costumes. The teacher agreed to try and
find a way to help me out. So I went to class the following Tuesday.

When I entered the classroom, I received my second shock. The class was
full of ‘Arabs’ and ‘camel jockeys’. Well, I had never seen one but I
had heard of them.

There was no way I was going to sit in a room full of dirty heathens!
After all, you could catch some dreadful disease from those people.
Everyone knew they were dirty, not to be trusted either. I shut the door
and went home. (Now, there is one little thing you should know. I had on
a pair of leather hot pants, a halter top, and a glass of wine in my
hands…but they were the bad ones in my mind.)

When I told my husband about the Arabs in the class and that there was
no way I was going back, he responded in his usual calm way. He
reminded that I was always claiming that God had a reason for everything and
maybe I should spend some time thinking about it before I made my final
decision. He also reminded me that I had a scholars award that was
paying my tuition and if I wanted to keep it, I would have to maintain my
G.P.A.. Three credit hours or ‘F’ would have destroyed my chances.

For the next two days, I prayed for guidance. On Thursday I went back
to the class convinced that God had put me there to save those poor
ignorant heathens from the fires of hell.

I proceeded to explain to them how they would burn in the fires of hell
for all eternity, if they did not accept Jesus as their personal
savior. They were very polite, but did not convert. Then, I explained how
Jesus loved them and had died on the cross to save them from their sins.
All they had to do was accept him into their hearts. They were very
polite, but still did not convert. So, I decided to read their own book to
show them that Islam was a false religion and Mohammed was a false God.

One of the students gave me a copy of the Qur’an and another book about
Islam, and I proceeded with my research. I was sure I would find the
evidence I needed very quickly. Well, I read the Qur’an and the other
book. Then I read another 15 books, Sahih Muslim and returned to the
Qur’an. I was determined I would convert them! My studies continued for the
next one and half years.

During that time, I started having a few problems with my husband. I
was changing, just in little ways but enough to bother him. We used to go
to the bar every Friday and Saturday, or to a party, and I no longer
wanted to go. I was quieter and more distant. He was sure I was having an
affair, so he kicked me out. I moved into an apartment with my children
and continued my determined efforts to convert the Muslims to
Christianity.

Then, one day, there was a knock on my door. I opened the door and saw a
man in a long white night gown with a red and white checkered table
cloth on his head. He was accompanied by three men in pajamas. (It was the
first time I had ever seen their cultural dress.) Well, I was more than
a little offended by men showing up at my door in night clothes. What
kind of a woman did they think I was? Had they no pride or dignity?
Imagine my shock when the one wearing the table cloth said he understood I
wanted to be a Muslim! I quickly informed him I did not want to be a
Muslim. I was Christian. However, I did have a few questions. If he had
the time…

His name was Abdul-Aziz Al-Shiek and he made the time. He was very
patient and discussed every question with me. He never made me feel silly
or that a question was stupid. He asked me if I believed there was only
one God and I said yes. Then he asked if I believed Mohammed was His
Messenger. Again I said yes. He told me that I was already a Muslim!.

I argued that I was Christian, I was just trying to understand Islam.
(Inside I was thinking: I couldn’t be a Muslim! I was American and
white! What would my husband say? If I am Muslim, I will have to divorce my
husband. My family would die!)

We continued talking. Later, he explained that attaining knowledge and
understanding of spirituality was a little like climbing a ladder. If
you climb a ladder and try to skip a few rungs, there was danger of
falling. The Shahadah was just the first step on the ladder. Still we had
to talk some more.

Later that afternoon, May 21, 1977 at Asr’, I took Shahadah. However,
there were still some things I could not accept and it was my nature to
be completely truthful so i added a disclaimer. I said: “I bear witness
that there is no god but God and Mohammed is His Messenger” ‘but, I
will never cover my hair and if my husband takes another wife, I will
castrate him.’

I heard gasps from the other men in the room, but Abdul Aziz silenced
them. Later I learned that he told the brothers never to discuss those
two subjects with me. He was sure I would come to the correct
understanding.

The Shahadah was indeed a solid footing on the ladder to spiritual
knowledge and closeness to God. but it has been a slow climb. Abdul Aziz
continued to visit me and answer my questions. May Allah reward him for
his patience and tolerance. He never admonished me or acted like a
question was stupid or silly. He treated each question with dignity and told
me that the only stupid question was the one never asked. Hmmm…my
grandmother used to say that.

He explained that Allah had told us to seek knowledge and questions
were one of the ways to accomplish that. When he explained something, it
was like watching a rose open - petal by petal, until it reached its
full glory. When I told him that I did not agree with something and why,
he always said I was correct up to a point. The he would show me how to
look deeper and from different directions to reach a fuller
understanding. Alhamdulillah!

Over the years, I had many teachers. Each one special, each one
different. I am thankful for each one of them and the knowledge they gave.
Each teacher helped me to grow and to love Islam more. As my knowledge
increased, the changes in me became more apparent. Within the first year,
I was wearing hijab. I have no idea when I started. It came naturally,
with increased knowledge and understanding. In time I even came to be a
proponent of polygamy. I knew that if Allah had allowed it, there had
to be something good in it.

“Glorify the name of thy Guardian - Lord Most High, Who hath created,
and further, given order and proportion; Who hath measured, and granted
guidance; and Who bringeth out the (green and lush) pasture, and doth
make it (but) swarthy stubble, By degrees shall We teach thee (The
Message), so thou shalt not forget, except as Allah wills: for He knoweth
what is manifest and what is hidden. And We will make it easy for thee
(to follow) the simple (path).” (Al-A’la 87:1-8)

When I first started to study Islam, I did not expect to find anything
that I needed or wanted in my personal life. Little did I know that
Islam would change my life. No human could have ever convinced me that I
would finally be at peace and overflowing with love and joy because of
Islam.

This book spoke of THE ONE GOD, THE CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE. It
described the beautiful way in which He had organised the world. This
wondrous Qur’an had all the answers. Allah is The Loving! Allah is the Source
of Peace! Allah is the Protector! Allah is the Forgiver! Allah is the
Provider! Allah is the maintainer! Allah is the Generous One! Allah is the
Responsive! Allah is the Protecting Friend! Allah is the Expander!

“Have we not expanded thee thy breast? And removed from thee thy burden
the which did gall thy back? And raised high the esteem (in which) thou
(art held)? So, verily, with every difficulty, there is relief: Verily,
with every difficulty there is relief!” (Al-Ishirah, 94: 1-6)

The Qur’an addressed all the issues of existence and showed a clear
path to success. It was like a map forgiving, an owner manual for life!

2

How Islam changed my life

"How much more we love the light...If once we lived in Darkness."

When I first embraced Islam, I really did not think it was going to
affect my life very much. Islam did not just affect my life. It totally
changed it.

Family life: My husband and I loved each other very deeply. That love
for each other still exists. Still, when I started studying Islam, we
started having some difficulties. He saw me changing and did not
understand what was happening. Neither did I. But then, I did not even
realise I was changing. He decided that the only thing that could make me
change was another man. There was no way to make him understand
what was changing me because I did not know.

After I realised that I was a Muslim, it did not help matters. After
all...the only reason a woman changes something as fundamental as her
religion is another man. He could not find evidence of this other
man...but he had to exist. We ended up in a very ugly divorce. The courts
determined that the unorthodox religion would be detrimental to the
development of my children. So they were removed from my custody.

During the divorce, there was a time when I was told I could make a
choice. I could renounce this religion and leave with my children, or
renounce my children and leave with my religion. I was in shock. To me this
was not a possible choice. If I renounce my Islam I would be
teaching my children how to be deceptive. For there was no way to deny what
was in my heart. I could not deny Allah, not then, not ever. I prayed
like I had never prayed before. After the thirty minutes was up, I knew
that there was no safer place for my children to be than in the hands of
Allah. If I denied him, there would be no way in the future to show my
children the wonders of being with Allah. The courts were told that I
would leave my children in the hands of Allah. This was not a rejection
of my children!

I left the courts knowing that life without my babies would be very
difficult. My heart bled, even though I knew, inside, I had done the right
thing. I found solace in Ayat-Ul-Kursi.

"Allah! There is no god but He - the Living, the Self-subsisting,
Supporter of all. No slumber can seize him nor sleep. His are all things in
the heavens and on earth. Who is there can intercede in His presence
except as He permitteth? He knoweth what (appeareth to His creatures as)
Before or After or Behind them. Nor shall they compass aught of His
knowledge except as He willeth. His Throne doth extend over the heavens
and the earth, and he feeleth no fatigue in guarding and preserving them
for He is Most High, The Supreme (in Glory)." (Al-Baqarah, 2:255)

This also got me started looking at all the attributes of Allah and
discovering the beauty of each one.

Child custody and divorce were not the only problems I was to face. The
rest of my family was not very accepting of my choice either. Most of
the family refused to have anything to do with me. My mother was of the
belief that it was just a phase and I would grow out of it. My sister,
the 'mental health expert' was sure I had simply lost my mind and
should be institutionalised. My father believed I should be killed before
placed myself deeper in Hell. Suddenly I found myself with no husband and
no family. What would be next?

Friends: Most of my friends drifted away during that first year. I was
no fun anymore. I did not want to go to parties or bars. I was not
interested in finding a boyfriend. All I ever did was read that 'stupid'
book (the Qur'an) and talk about Islam. What a bore. I still did not have
enough knowledge to help them understand why Islam was so beautiful.

Employment: My job was next to go. While I had won just about every
award there was in my field and was recognised as a serious trend setter
and money maker, the day I put on hijab, was the end of my job. Now I
was without a family, without friends and without a job.

In all this, the first light was my grandmother. She approved of my
choice and joined me. What a surprise! I always knew she had a lot of
wisdom, but this! She died soon after that. When I stop to think about it, I
almost get jealous. The day she pronounced Shahadah, all her misdeeds
had been erased, while her good deeds were preserved. She died so soon
after accepting Islam that I knew her 'BOOK' was bound to be heavy on
the good side. It fills me with such joy!

As my knowledge grew and I was better able to answer questions, many
things changed. But, it was the changes made in me as a person that had
the greatest impact. A few years after I went public with my Islam, my
mother called me and said she did not know what this 'Islam thing' was,
but she hoped I would stay with it. She liked what it was doing for me.
A couple of years after that she called again and asked what a person
had to do to be a Muslim. I told her that all person had to do was know
that there was only ONE God and Mohammed was His Messenger. Her
response was: "Any fool knows that. But what do you have to do?" I repeated
the same information and she said: "Well...OK. But let's not tell your
father just yet."

Little did she know that he had gone through the same conversation a
few weeks before that. My real father (the one who thought I should be
killed) had done it almost two months earlier. Then, my sister, the
mental health person, she told me that I was the most 'liberated' person she
knew. Coming from her that was the greatest compliment I could have
received.

Rather than try to tell you about how each person came to accept Islam,
let me simply say that more members of my family continue to find Islam
every year. I was especially happy when a dear friends, Brother Qaiser
Imam, told me that my ex-husband took Shahadah. When Brother Qaiser
asked him why, he said it was because he had been watching me for 16 years
and he wanted his daughter to have what I had. He came and asked me to
forgive him for all he had done. I had forgiven him long before that.

Now my oldest son, Whittney, has called, as I am writing this book, and
announced that he also wants to become Muslim. He plans on taking the
Shahadah as the ISNA Convention in a couple of weeks. For now, he is
learning as much as he can. Allah is The Most Merciful.

Over the years, I have come to be known for my talks on Islam, and many
listeners have chosen to be Muslim. My inner peace has continued to
increase with my knowledge and confidence in the Wisdom of Allah. I know
that Allah is not only my Creator but, my dearest friend. I know that
Allah will always be there and will never reject me. For every step I
take toward Allah, He takes 10 toward me. What a wonderful knowledge.

True, Allah has tested me, as was promised, and rewarded me far beyond
what I could ever have hoped for. A few years ago, the doctors told me
I had cancer and it was terminal. They explained that there was no
cure, it was too far advanced, and proceeded to help prepare me for my
death by explaining how the disease would progress. I had maybe one year
left to live. I was concerned about my children, especially my youngest.
Who would take care of him? Still I was not depressed. We must all die.
I was confident that the pain I was experiencing contained Blessings.

I remembered a good friend, Kareem Al-Misawi, who died of cancer when
he was still in his 20's. Shortly before he died, he told me that Allah
was truly Merciful. This man was in unbelievable anguish and radiating
with Allah's love. He said: "Allah intends that I should enter heaven
with a clean book." His death experience gave me something to think
about. He taught me of Allah's love and mercy. This was something no one
else had ever really discussed. Allah's love!

I did not take me long to start being aware of His blessings. Friends
who loved me came out of nowhere. I was given the gift of making Hag.
Even more importantly, I learned how very important it was for me to
share the Truth of Islam with everyone. It did not matter if people, Muslim
or not, agreed with me or even liked me. The only approval I needed was
from Allah. The only love I needed was from Allah. Yet, I discovered
more and more people, who for no apparent reason, loved me. I rejoiced,
for I remembered reading that if Allah loves you, He causes others to
love you. I am not worthy of all the love. That means it must be another
gift from Allah. Allah is the Greatest!

There is no way to fully explain how my life changed. Alhamdulillah! I
am so very glad that I am a Muslim. Islam is my life. Islam is the beat
of my heart. Islam is the blood that courses through my veins. Islam is
my strength. Islam is my life so wonderful and beautiful. Without
Islam, I am nothing and should Allah ever turn His magnificent face from me
I could not survive.

3

Beautiful. Thanks for sharing :k:

4

wow .. thanks for sharing

5

nice very nice and Thanx for sharing

6

I personally have had the pleasure of seeing someone going thru 'similar' changes on a much smaller scale.

Very nice article.

Jazak'Allah Khairun.

Correct me if im wrong, but just saying Jazak'Allah is not enough ? an Arab friend of mine once told me putting 'Khair' or 'Khairun' infront of it is important if you wish to make dua for the person.

7

:flower2:subhaan <I_I_II il-Azeem:flower2:subhaan <I_I_II wa-bhi-humdihi:flower2: