I work with mostly men in our group. All very southern men that buy guns like a hobby, love hunting, say things that are far from politically correct…for the most part completely different from me.
I am not sure if they are sexist or if I’m over-reacting. I do tend to overly analyze sometimes but my supervisor’s boss is a woman and my previous supervisor also works with me but in a different section with one of the guys I work with.
Some of the comments they say about the women around us and there have been so many but recently:
One employee(woman) was missing her folders and files on a network drive. One of the guys I work with was the one in charge of maintaining those network user folders. When I inquired about this to him, he said that she’s a b*tch and she’s like that so just somehow appease her. because that’s how she is. Data especially important work files will be valuable to anyone and I can totally understand why she might be a bit panicked.
My supervisor’s boss has a biweekly meeting on Monday morning updating all about what is new at our organization in terms of other departments. The guys I work with usually have only negative stuff to say about her. It’s called the “Open Mic” session but they call it the “Open Mouth” session because she hosts it.
My previous supervisor that does work with one of them, is constantly talked about in a negative way by them. Somehow she annoys them. I loved my previous boss, she was the one that gave me my first job so I feel like defending her whenever they say anything unnecessarily negative about her.
Even with me, they do backbite when I’m not in the office. I’m fairly new so I’m going to ask questions, two of them do assist when I have questions about something I’ve never done before and I’m learning it, which is great but they talk negatively about me behind my back. Another one has the most amount of knowledge in this particular field but is completely condescending and arrogant so I talk to him as less as possible or only a question that would need a one word answer. I know they’re smart but laughing at the lack of knowledge of others shouldn’t be their stress relief. The amount of confidence I have is much lower than it was before I started working with this all men group.
I have a sense of humor but then some things they say are just so outright alarming.
I’m asking the Almighty to give me strength or at least a lot of tolerance so I can work with them because I keep thinking maybe I’m just not open minded enough or I’m just taking things too seriously.
I’m just wondering, is this the nature of men? I always keeping thinking what if I was married to someone like this, my only thoughts are that it wouldn’t be fun because when I get off work, I keep hearing myself thank the Almighty that I’m not married to any of them. I see that these guys are practical and when an issue comes up approach it in the most logical way to get it resolved because of the amount of experience they have. I respect their knowledge. Great!
These are all married men so obviously they get along good with their wives. In the past, I have not been around a lot of men in my life except for my brothers so is this something I need to get used to or learn to adjust to because I just don’t know how to ignore what they say and just take it lightly sometimes.
Keep a diary and note every such comment in detail with date and time. One such comment and they would be instantly dismissed at our corporation. No men are not like that you work in a toxic environment.
Something wrong with your organization culture. I work in an industry and an organization which is dominant by males and i am really comfortable working with them. Its actually better than working with females .
Welcome to Southland!! I’m guessing its very suburban area not the city. Either way, I dont generalize normally but one thing for sure, the area and people you are talking about are known to believe on men’s supremacy and degrade women. People like these have brought this racist and sexist man as our El Presidante
Anyways, I dont see anything you can do except ignore them and do what’s right for you. And if I would be you, i would rather look for moving out towards cities atleast.
By the way, I only have 1 1/2 yrs of work experience so reporting everyone to HR is just something I can’t do and I am a woman too just in case my username doesn’t imply it.
Not a good situation to be in.
Documentation was a good suggestion and do look for work in other places. This is a toxic environment and will end up hurting you, your self-esteem and career goals.
I haven’t had this experience Alhamdulilah and you shouldn’t accept it either. All men are not like this.
I am a woman and I make plenty of comments that are not politically correct and can be viewed as racist/sexist. But the difference between me and these guys is that I don’t do it at work. But then again I work in a legal environment so we tend to be extra “on-guard.”
I know quite a few men (including my husband) who make negative comments about others who annoy them for whatever reason. It doesn’t automatically mean that it’s their nature or they don’t like or respect women. It’s often done as a joke or out of frustration/anger. But again, the key is NOT doing it at work.
You work culture is awful. Going to HR will hurt you unless you have solid evidence to back up your claims (usually this means stuff in writing OR having other co-workers who will verify your story). You said you only have 1.5 years of experience. You should wait at least 6 more months to make that 2 years (and maybe 1 more year if you can tolerate the behavior) and then start looking for another job.
The environment I grew up in would not allow me to be racist or sexist. In school we had black history month and went in depth into everything the black people endured in American history along with Holocaust remembrance month so I always think twice before speaking anything that might be stereotypical. I try to expose myself to as many cultures as I can for fun. I guess humans are innately racist/sexist but as soon as the words come to mind, it’s what we do with those thoughts that matters at work or at home.
My brother is staunchly PC, so he would be my biggest critic if I did say something that might be viewed as stereotypical, anti-religious diversity or racist. I did that with Korean food one time and even if he misunderstood, he still gave me a lecture about it so yeah it didn’t go well.
So when Donald Trump says certain things that might be viewed as racist or sexist when people annoyed him, would that also mean that it is not in his nature to be disrespectful? He might have been joking at the time and it was just when he was talking to some guy in a bus, he wasn’t really at work either so, no wonder women also voted for him.
Na, I’m not going to say anything at work like I haven’t been including going to HR because it’s the whole group not one specific person, I’ll wait it out and hopefully I’ll gain some valuable work experience.
Good for you, your capacity to put up with adversity will determine where you will go in life. The more patient and forgiving you are the higher you will rise. My Jewish friend had this big quote printed on her wall that, “Success is the best Revenge.” People who gave my a hard time when I started my career, I have left them in the dust. Just focus on your end goal and ignore the noise. You dont have to pay attention to every dog that barks.
No we men are not like that . If someone is bitter and wants to expose it in public then you shouldn’t be the one suffering from it . Switch job . I’m pretty sure there are plenty of opportunities .
yeah , just switch jobs Fitoor . Working in such a toxic environment , you will have to become one of them too to be able to counter them , and if you dont want to do that , then just change jobs .
I have worked in HR for years and know that some companies have a serious cultural problem that is so deep rooted , it can become very hard to get any positive results out .