How Would you react if you told your other half or your parents that you had cancer. And the first response out of this persons mouth was "what about me, whats going to happen to me?. How would you react?
How would you keep going knowing that all this person cares about is themselves no matter what?
How would you maintain the relationship that you once had with them and keep going?
How Would you react if you told your other half or your parents that you had cancer. And the first response out of this persons mouth was "what about me, whats going to happen to me?. How would you react?
How would you keep going knowing that all this person cares about is themselves no matter what?
How would you maintain the relationship that you once had with them and keep going?
Well if for example a child says that to his Mother - isn't such a reaction expected? Or a Wife saying that to her Husband of 50 years?
Such news is a shock to receive and each person has a different way of expressing their feelings.
Other reasons of that reaction could be because that person is confused amd emotional - and doesn’t know how to accept such hurting news. They don't know what will happen to them afterwards or who will look after them once the cancer wins and takes their loved one away.
If I was in such an awful position, god forbid, I would make sure my relationship becomes even closer to them because I think I would need a lot of love and support from loved ones when facing my mortality.
Re: What about me...
Selfishness is a bitter reality of life. Either we like it or not but 99% of our decisions are based on this fact. All you can do is to try to think from other person's point of view and can tell your heart that they are right. Morally I don't really find any justification for this sort of behavior. Its true our loyalties are for sale.
Hey Zash,
It may seem selfish.....but most likely such a comment is made out of love. If someone is a HUGE part of our lives such as a parent, spouse, or child....someone we see on a daily basis......we can't imagine losing that person. We can't imagine living without that person, not seeing their face, not hearing their voice....knowing that we can't ever reach them again. And you feel this way because that person is a HUGE part of who you are. It's like they're a part of your heart and soul. And that's why people say that when you lose a loved one....it feels like losing a part of your body....like you're missing something....a painful void/emptiness. They love you so much, they can't imagine their life without you. They can't imagine life will ever be as good as it is with you in it. Nothing will be the same anymore and such a thought is frightening.
And as Iggle suggested, that's not a surprising reaction from a child or a spouse of so many years. Even from a sibling. When people hear shocking news, it's normal to be confused, emotional, hurt, and even angry...and thus we're bot careful about our comments and reactions.
After we start to process the shocking news and realize the grave reality of it.....we forget OUR NEEDS.....and begin to focus on the loved one with cancer. And we try our best to be there for them, to put their needs FIRST, to take care of them, and comfort them. So...after a while....once the shock sets in....you begin moving past the "selfishness" and give all of yourself to the one in need.
Re: What about me...
My 2 cents...they said it impulsively because they dont know a life without you.
People are selfish about those they love...if that makes any sense.
Re: What about me...
Firstly, my prayers are with the cancer patient, may Allah make it easy for him/her. Ameen.
Secondly, cancer affects families in the most brutal ways - your loved ones panic and feel so helpless. Whoever said, "what about me?" is just so panic-stricken and has made too many plans with you. They, like Bonnie said, can't imagine a life without you - it's a sweet thing. Not selfish in the sense you see it.
Re: What about me...
Its just a normal shock reaction dude.
Re: What about me...
Yeah i agree.
My grandfather died of Cancer and when he ahd told my grandmother she was spset with him and refused to talk to him for ahwhile .
It all has to do with reaction like Jaanwar said.
Firstly, my prayers are with the cancer patient, may Allah make it easy for him/her. Ameen.
Secondly, cancer affects families in the most brutal ways - your loved ones panic and feel so helpless. Whoever said, "what about me?" is just so panic-stricken and has made too many plans with you. They, like Bonnie said, can't imagine a life without you - it's a sweet thing. Not selfish in the sense you see it.
excellent!! ........... I am agree with his views .....
Re: What about me...
Well Zash....firstly it does feel very bad to hear it when you were completely looking for support. But as Redvelvet said these kinda comments are made out of love...That person loves you so much that they are questioning their existence without you. But still i feel that certain someone shudn't have said it. But you have to understand that they love you...they are selfish because the love they have for you..not about anything else. Try to get over this thought and insha Allah everything will be fine.
Don't get disheartened please and try to understand that they love you :) Hope it helps.
Re: What about me...
I agree with what redvelvet said. God forbid, I see myself saying the same thing if allah-na-keray something like that happened. Not because I am selfish but because I just can't see a life without my better half. It's like feeling that a part of you is being taken away and how would you ever manage your life with the part? It's a way of expressing feelings for you and nothign negative.
Re: What about me...
Gosh - that would be horrid to be on the receiving end of that though.....
Regardless of the motives, it must be hard to hear that.