I thought your posts were really sensible Shakil, but recently you have been having these hate posts not necessarily directed at one gender or topic. I mean do you really think girls brought up in the west are party animals? If you do so, may Allah help you out, because you are perhaps going to raise your own family outside Pakistan too.
How do you relate mental toughness to facing corruption and lawlessness? I call it a shame.
Most Western boys don’t go back because it’s not easy to make ends meet in Pakistan (the legal way). Anyone in his right mind would avoid dealing with unecessary headache of Pakistan’s infrastructure.
There are pros and cons for living abroad as well so don’t jump on the band wagon and stand in the US Visa line. See what suits your needs.
I'm a "western gal"...born and raised in us of a, european background and married to a desi. I think life would be just lovely over there if my hubby found the right job. The lunch hours are long enough to come home and say hi, the workweek is not anything even close to new yawk hours. Hiring servants to help with cooking and cleaning seems to be almost routine. Could I get used to this? Oh YEAH. People seem to like shopping and gossip, 2 things that I am really not interested in but well hell. The crazy new yawk life is so much worse to put up with yes? Hubby leaves for work at 5 or 5:30. is home around 7 or 7:30 pm. No help around the house or with the 3 boys....not complaining at all but well maybe the grass is always greener. I dont get it when people say I'd not be able to handle it...handle WHAT??? Covering myself when i go out? No prob bob. Sending others out cause it looks better? Even better....YOU go get the stuff I need at the store ok? I stay home and be a nice mama taking care of kids. Can I do without fast foods and speed-dial tothe pizza place? SHOOR.... cause I'd be able to hire someone to help cook and clean up the kitchen. and I'd surely see my hubby lots more than I do now. so whats the issue here?
This is a very good point. I would love to go back and establish something in my own country but I knw that inorder to do that i will have to bribe and i am no favour of that.
I somewhat agree with this point. Mentally, desi girls are a lot quicker and smarter than girls raised in the west who tend to be more slow and, er, bimbo…ish in comparison The reason for this is the constant family politics and bitching that goes on in desi countries that makes the girls more ‘battle-hardened’ and experienced. Of course it occurs in the west too, but not on the same and malicious scale as back home.
Physically, if you can survive pakistan in the summer you can survive anything Western born desis trying to adjust to the pakistani climate find it very very tough.
starsky.. i don't think ur point is valid.. the issue you mentioned exists whereever desi's exists.. whether she is western born or not. these issues are family based issues which unfortunately doesn't make a person strong but rather make them weak.
The thing is, there is no guarantee a Western raised girl would have this lifestyle in Pakistan. I am not sure if I could do it or not. sigh
I agree with Starsky too. Pakistani girls raised in Pakistan know how to play the game a lot better than girls born here. Girls from here are comparable to village people … at least that is how I felt both times I went back. Very backwards, while girls there were 10 steps ahead of me in terms of socialising and playing the game. The ‘game’ I keep referring to is not something bad, it is just how to deal with people. Both boys are girls from Pakistan are more ‘thez’ in this respect and it’s a great trait to have, but I certainly don’t have it so I don’t know how I would survive in that environment where I would indeed be the bimbo.
Oh boy, now you're all scaring me. Is it really that bad?
I don't know about marriage, but my kids and I want to go to Pakistan. Our family is mostly based in Kashmir, but we've got family in Rawal Pindi and Islamabad too. So I'm thinking about settling in either Rawal Pindi or Islamabad. But the way things are now, it will probably take another few ,years... I have even started to improve my Urdu, I only know how to read easy stuff, even today, as an adult I have difficulty reading something like the Daily Yang. But I've started to practise more. I'm preparing the kids too. Anyone got any useful advise?
this all sounds good until you go back to pakistan and live there for a while. i went back and had to stay in karachi for 5 years. even though i had servants that did everything for me life there was horrible. not only do you have to deal with the heat, the bugs, especially mosquitos, but the people are crazy. when you go shopping you have to argue with every shop keeper (makes you miss bloomingdales), you get harrassed by men on the streets, people talked about you for no reason because you are an american, you get food poisoning even if you eat in 5 star restaurants, and to top it all off everything in pakistan takes months to get done. even if you just want to go to the bank and get some money from your account expect to spend at least an hour if you are lucky. one last thing if you don’t know someone who knows someone who can help you out or if you don’t want to pay money to get things done you will get no where.
Life is different outside karachi, shazi. That's the thing - for northerners, its easy to go back. Its south Pakistan where life is crap, even in a city that should be the most efficient one in the country.
The reason for this is the constant family politics and bitching that goes on in desi countries that makes the girls more ‘battle-hardened’ and experienced. Of course it occurs in the west too, but not on the same and malicious scale as back home.
Western born desis trying to adjust to the pakistani climate find it very very tough.
Its prevalent in the west too but not as rampant or as near as bad as back home.
so true. everyone knows how to play the ‘game’. i feel like if i say something not right, everyone will kacha chabaying me over there.