Re: weird situation or stupidity of a friend
"friend"
Re: weird situation or stupidity of a friend
Well this all might sound full of made up stories or whatever... I accept that I have poor writing skills regarding such foolish stories. That's why I named the topic so.
My friend is too immature. She thinks her hubby is extra friendly n trustworthy. They were living happily until had severe financial problem and as she refused to do job in the beginning as per her mom's orders, her hubby thinks she n his in laws are non supporting. She couldn't help him financially so the distance between 2 increased.
Then came the story of this 25 years old guy is who claims to be a pak army captain. She started talking to him n then he asked her to quit with her hubby come to him with his kids even or just leave him. She told her hubby about this captain but didn't mention her own feelings for him.
Then she decided to quit all this n deleted him from Facebook n etc. Now when she told me all this rubbish I felt her hubby might have this as a reason to be away from her. She was of the opinion that I can directly ask him this but I stopped her from further such things. She is trying to give up on that guy who has stopped according to her.
Now I don't know how to guide her. I am trying to help her to get back to her family...she was ignoring her kids n concentrating more on her outlooks when her hubby didn't pay attention to her...what I think is that at this time she was missing presence of a man n love in her life which that captain fulfilled. How can she be strong without the presence of man's attention n love? How can she fully come out of this guy? N should she clear her Hubby's mind about that guy or leave it? As she thinks he was fine with that.
Her hubby says I only want u to do job n help me. She is waiting for sept when her daughter will start school.
Re: weird situation or stupidity of a friend
What's the issue? She wants to tell him nothing's going on? And that they should try on being close again? First of all th situation she got herself into was wierd and now shes bing wierd about how to handle it?
If she's so open with her hubby and can trust him then all she should do is have a talk with hubby about how she feels they r moving apart and that they should make an effort to spend one on one time again. And him asking her to remove her dolled up pics from Facebook is totally justified since she got emotionally attached to someone online and who might still be stalking her Facebook page. So tell her to stop beating around the bush and actually talk to her husband about what the real issue is. If he doesn't bring up th captain issue in this conversation himself then she should just let it go rather than baiting her husband into a stupid discussion about nothing where she's just looking for an opportunity to blurt out (and then blame it on anger and in the moment stuff) about how she is so unloved in this marriage and that's why she also fell for mr. Out-of-college captain. I mean who has an online affair with a married woman, where is it even gonna go. And then once she seperates from her hubby captains gonna start b!tching about how his parents are not accepting the situation and he's helpless. Seriously what is she thinking. And what stupid views does she want from ppl. Only she knows her marriage and her husband and the situation. Tell her if she's looking for an outlet to pour out her heart (about captain to hubby) then she should think again and be sensible. It's like she got out too easy and wanted more trouble to shake things up or something.
And her job thingy, if she has an honest relationship with her husband then she should just tell him about why she doesn't want to work rather than getting pattiyaan from her mom about what to do or say (and now from us!). She should take some responsibility for her life and what she's gotten herself into.
Btw did she start dressing better so hr husband would have something nice to look at or was she just doing it so she could upload pics for the world (mr.captain included) to see.
Re: weird situation or stupidity of a friend
She is waiting for sept when her daughter will start school.
excuses women at times make not do their share. There are plenty of childcare centers, home childcare services, nanny services, etc that she can use if she is really willing to help her husband. She doesn't have to wait for September. When there is a will then there is a way.
Re: weird situation or stupidity of a friend
She says now I want to live for myself. Dresses up for herself that I don't believe in.
Re: weird situation or stupidity of a friend
When u dress for urself u don't need Facebook validation.
Re: weird situation or stupidity of a friend
excuses women at times make not do their share. There are plenty of childcare centers, home childcare services, nanny services, etc that she can use if she is really willing to help her husband. She doesn't have to wait for September. When there is a will then there is a way.
She doesn't have such degree or experience where she can earn enough to pay for those services alongwith support her hubby. Rest you are very right.
Re: weird situation or stupidity of a friend
Well this all might sound full of made up stories or whatever... I accept that I have poor writing skills regarding such foolish stories. That's why I named the topic so. My friend is too immature. She thinks her hubby is extra friendly n trustworthy. They were living happily until had severe financial problem and as she refused to do job in the beginning as per her mom's orders, her hubby thinks she n his in laws are non supporting. She couldn't help him financially so the distance between 2 increased. Then came the story of this 25 years old guy is who claims to be a pak army captain. She started talking to him n then he asked her to quit with her hubby come to him with his kids even or just leave him. She told her hubby about this captain but didn't mention her own feelings for him. Then she decided to quit all this n deleted him from Facebook n etc. Now when she told me all this rubbish I felt her hubby might have this as a reason to be away from her. She was of the opinion that I can directly ask him this but I stopped her from further such things. She is trying to give up on that guy who has stopped according to her. Now I don't know how to guide her. I am trying to help her to get back to her family...she was ignoring her kids n concentrating more on her outlooks when her hubby didn't pay attention to her...what I think is that at this time she was missing presence of a man n love in her life which that captain fulfilled. How can she be strong without the presence of man's attention n love? How can she fully come out of this guy? N should she clear her Hubby's mind about that guy or leave it? As she thinks he was fine with that. Her hubby says I only want u to do job n help me. She is waiting for sept when her daughter will start school.
You can do one of two things:
a. Tell her to leave her husband and kids and go marry the captain. If she stays and continues down this path, she will cause pain to a lot of people. Hopefully the captain makes more than her husband.
or
b. Just let the husband know and have him dump her sorry tashreef. Is this what she will be teaching his kids? To be disloyal and lie; not take responsibility and then play victim?
Once a cheater, always a cheater. For those of you getting all worked up on the implied 'misogyny' of my post, chill! I say the same thing about cheating husbands.
Re: weird situation or stupidity of a friend
Well this all might sound full of made up stories or whatever... I accept that I have poor writing skills regarding such foolish stories. That's why I named the topic so. My friend is too immature. She thinks her hubby is extra friendly n trustworthy. They were living happily until had severe financial problem and as she refused to do job in the beginning as per her mom's orders, her hubby thinks she n his in laws are non supporting. She couldn't help him financially so the distance between 2 increased. Then came the story of this 25 years old guy is who claims to be a pak army captain. She started talking to him n then he asked her to quit with her hubby come to him with his kids even or just leave him. She told her hubby about this captain but didn't mention her own feelings for him. Then she decided to quit all this n deleted him from Facebook n etc. Now when she told me all this rubbish I felt her hubby might have this as a reason to be away from her. She was of the opinion that I can directly ask him this but I stopped her from further such things. She is trying to give up on that guy who has stopped according to her. Now I don't know how to guide her. I am trying to help her to get back to her family...she was ignoring her kids n concentrating more on her outlooks when her hubby didn't pay attention to her...what I think is that at this time she was missing presence of a man n love in her life which that captain fulfilled. How can she be strong without the presence of man's attention n love? How can she fully come out of this guy? N should she clear her Hubby's mind about that guy or leave it? As she thinks he was fine with that. Her hubby says I only want u to do job n help me. She is waiting for sept when her daughter will start school.
The MIL from HELL.
Re: weird situation or stupidity of a friend
She doesn't have such degree or experience where she can earn enough to pay for those services alongwith support her hubby. Rest you are very right.
She doesn't need a degree to get a job. She can apply at childcare centers, not only she will get a job but also discount on her daughter. Some childcare chains don't even charge tuition for employees children.
To me it sounds as if she hasn't even started to look for a job, she is sitting and waiting for September and in the meanwhile cheating on her husband.
Again, when there is a will then there is a way.
And yes her mother is an evil MIL if she is teaching her daughter not support her husband.
Re: weird situation or stupidity of a friend
Once a cheater is always a cheater . . . right girls ?????
Re: weird situation or stupidity of a friend
^Yes, that’s exactly right. The husband in this case should be especially concerned as it seems his wife cheated out of boredom. What do you suppose will happen the next time she gets bored? 