Weird dilemma

[rose_petal_1]

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[SaeedinPakistan]

Re: Weird dilemma

Your in laws are being unreasonable. Have they given you reasons for why daycare isn’t a viable option?

A family is supposed to stay together. People don’t marry each other and have kids so they can live away from each other.

You need to have a conversation with husband about why he thinks daycare is not an option for your kid. Try to get him to provide his own opinion on the matter, not what his amma or abba think. I’d say stand your ground no matter what. She can’t take your kid without your permission because it’s your kid.

Try to get your husband to use his own head and stay calm and tactful while handling all this.

[aqua70]

Re: Weird dilemma

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[Bobby1]

Re: Weird dilemma

You are the mother of the baby and this decision is based hundred percent on you, if your husband is compelling you in anyways that is classified as abuse here. With the hygiene issues and all sorts of other problems I would never ever send my child to live there. You can privately consult with child welfare and social agencies and support groups. The child cannot leave country without your consent. A child comes before a husband and it is a mothers legal and moral responsibility to protect the kid even from even the biological parent.

[NomiCA]

Re: Weird dilemma

If she took care of the baby for 5 months , when you were doing what? working in office? ..yea right…so she is fine as long as she does free nanny work for you, but if she develops some affection for the baby…godforbid, she is the most evil person in the world?? like really?

If you need a job to support the family, then it makes sense for you to continue the job despite whatever the hell hapens to the baby…but if you are not in a difficult financial situation…you can opt to go for a job with few work hours/flexible hours…and if you don’t want to to do that…than you can’t blame anyone else for your feelings that you are not a good mother…its about priorities…its all basically upto you..

1. job is more important
2. baby is more important

[NomiCA]

Re: Weird dilemma

@Bobby1

You are the mother of the baby and this decision is based hundred percent on you, if your husband is compelling you in anyways that is classified as abuse here. With the hygiene issues and all sorts of other problems I would never ever send my child to live there. You can privately consult with child welfare and social agencies and support groups. The child cannot leave country without your consent. A child comes before a husband and it is a mothers legal and moral responsibility to protect the kid even from even the biological parent.

right on…what she gonna do after divorcing the husband and kicking out the mother in law?? spend all the money she makes on baby sitters? or give the child up for adoption?

[Paheli00]

Re: Weird dilemma

@rose_petal

As the delivery time approached, we called our mother-in-law to stay with us who looked after me and the baby, and stayed with us for 5 months. The baby stays with her most of the times. She takes care of her completely.

What exactly are your work hours? Are you not able to take care of your child in the evenings and weekends?

@rose_petal

My husband says that if i want to keep the child here, then i should resign from job and go to Pakistan and live there with my in-laws.

Even IF you were to quit your job, why would you need to move to Pakistan with the baby?

Did you and your husband discuss your career and child care arrangements BEFORE you chose to get pregnant? Did you know already that your husband did not want the child being watched by a nanny or daycare?

[batameez]

Re: Weird dilemma

Not yet even one year old and already not close to the mother/father and being thought of looking after by maid or nanny

Way too small/ bonding of the child with the auntie much respect

Babies who aren’t even an year old , usually the parents can’t stand even have them away or not see them for days and this is months :rotato:

[rose_petal_1]

Re: Weird dilemma

@NomiCA

If she took care of the baby for 5 months , when you were doing what? working in office? ..yea right…so she is fine as long as she does free nanny work for you, but if she develops some affection for the baby…godforbid, she is the most evil person in the world?? like really?

If you need a job to support the family, then it makes sense for you to continue the job despite whatever the hell hapens to the baby…but if you are not in a difficult financial situation…you can opt to go for a job with few work hours/flexible hours…and if you don’t want to to do that…than you can’t blame anyone else for your feelings that you are not a good mother…its about priorities…its all basically upto you..

1. job is more important
2. baby is more important

I have no problem with my mother-in-law developing feelings for the baby, but i feel i am just being out of control of the situation. I am not given any chance to do anything for my baby. Everything is being done by her.
The problem here is not me leaving the job, the problem is, i am not even given the option to do that. My option is either let the baby to be in Pakistan, or i should resign and move to Pakistan.. I really feel myself to be in a helpless situation..

[Bobby1]

Re: Weird dilemma

@rose_petal

I have no problem with my mother-in-law developing feelings for the baby, but i feel i am just being out of control of the situation. I am not given any chance to do anything for my baby. Everything is being done by her.
The problem here is not me leaving the job, the problem is, i am not even given the option to do that. My option is either let the baby to be in Pakistan, or i should resign and move to Pakistan.. I really feel myself to be in a helpless situation..

911 provides plenty of help, people who act so tough on their wives are not so tough when SWAT arrives.