At what time would you prefer to have your own wedding? Day or night? At which season? Outdoor or indoor? And the food?
Personally I would love to have a wedding during the day sometime during spring (if that actually exists here >_>)… I’ve attended many weddings that took place at midnight and it can become such a huge bore, you become tired and the place is somewhat stuff. I prefer it would take place outdoor rather than inside the usual ballrooms.. Some place like a park or garden of some sort. Of course there would be a tent should people can’t withstand the sun. Finally the food would be a mix of BBQ with a buffet.
in lucknow they always do day/afternoon celebrations.. sometimes walimas are in evening/nights.. idea was that day marriage gives enough time to both families to interact AFTER the ceremony and sit eat chat in informal setting..
i still prefer evening to late night.. just i guess a personal choice
i would like it in the middle/3rd part of summer.. would prefer an outdoor setting.. food i wanna stay away from oily crap.. so bbq stuff and fruit salads, juice, pop, etc will do .. GOTTA have kashmiri chai.. (coffee for danial furqi and cheegz)
Most of the weddings in Pakistan take place in the evening/night hours. When Sana and I got married people were actually surprised to see that the ceremony started almost on time, ie 8 PM. :)
I think one of the reasons for having the ceremony in the evening is, that there are a couple of tasks that need to be completed on the day of the wedding and can't really be done earlier. Out of those the most time consuming task is the bridal visit to the beauty parlour. :D
If I were having a traditional Pakistani wedding, I'd rather have it during the day. I think it's just too exhausting to try to stay up all night for all of the excitement.
That said, if I lived in Pak, I'd probably want it at night, because then sleeping in would be an option :)
By the way, what's the cost of an average middle class wedding nowadays from the grooms side? brides side too?
LOL - no, I expect that my kids should help foot the bill for their weddings if they are planning to go wild.
I’m just wondering because we offered to pay for a cousin’s walima and help out with some of the other expenses - and now his mom is saying that they can’t do it for less than 20 lakh - not exactly what we had in mind!
errrr the dude should be footing his own valima.
they can do it for less than 20 lakh, its a question of what they want to do. if they have 200 ppl and cost per head is a thusand rupees its 2 lakh, if cost per head is double that its 4 lakh. Desis just cant get away from show shaa and throwing money - espcially if it is someone else’s money
Tell those ppl to cut down the list, and to show which options they ahve looked at.
My own valima was a brunch at a country club, it was nice, but it was only immediate relatives. I had no intention of throwing money around. begum wanted a small wedding too, but the list just got bigger and bigger..parents wanted to invite. so the wedding was kinda large.
oh btw amana u are not the only family that has dealt with that. a certain family who lived in a very posh area in Pakistan always 'borrowed' money from my folks to hold their valimas and mehndis. it would be pool side at whatever hotel, maybe pearl continental, same for mehndis and all. They are fairly loaded or so they project actually.
The borrowed money would not get paid back because there would always be something like, we are moving, kids started college, saving for other kids marriage, spent money on vacation.
anyays the ppl in question moved to US, and since my folks were not here at these ppls anothe rkids wedding, the mehdni took place in the basketball court of a neighbourhood middle school, and ppl ate while sitting in the student cafeteria out of styrofoam plates.
I guess when its your own money, image and 'needs' change quickly :)
Weddings these days have become such a materialistic affair, it's a shame. At my sister's wedding this one aunty kept forcing us that we should have party favors and of the certain types...a pouch filled with candies or a box filled with candies & confeti almonds, etc. She bought us like 10 kinds of samples for party favor. Long story short, it was a complete waste of money and my precious time (yeah I made those damn things). I am not having them on my wedding.
Amna... 20 lkh is just way too much. Just tell the budget you had planned and if their expenses are more then what you guys are giving, then they can add rest of the money by themselves. People have no shame these days.
offcourse sky is the limit but still 20lakh are little to much to spend on wedding. You have to think how to spend and unless you get Bride and Groom dresses from well known botiques, have 5star hotel do the catering, 20 Lakh are hard to spend. Now dont see a family who is in “need of help” , doing all this.
You can throw a couple of weddings for 20 Lakh....and if you really do need/want to spend that much money, your better off having a medium fancy affair, and investing the rest of the money for a home for the new couple. But how dare they request that much money from someone else...that's ridiculous.
By the way, what is the status in Pak these days? Are people allowed to serve full meals? When I got married in Pak, we were not supposed to serve any food, but the venue we chose, they allowed us to serve a full buffet style meal. I mean even 2000 rupees per head in pak is super extreme...gosh u could eat off gold plates fo rthat can't you??
Thanks for the rough idea - we were planning to spend a couple of lakh on a walima because they are also educating three of their kids right now and this aunt basically raised my husband till he was 6. His mom said that they were expecting all of the wedding expenses to be around 20 lakh, so we didn't know if that's what they were asking for, or they meant the total wedding. This family does a lot of the "keeping up with the Joneses".
Sheen- my husband's family served full meals right through the bans. They don't seem to apply to anyone except maybe the poor and unconnected.
We figured that she probably padded the figure pretty well to help take care of the dowry for their daughter or school expenses. If there wasn't such a big age difference he would have to wait till she was married first.
I think one of the reasons for having the ceremony in the evening is, that there are a couple of tasks that need to be completed on the day of the wedding and can't really be done earlier. Out of those the most time consuming task is the bridal visit to the beauty parlour. :D
i would want to have an evening function becaz i think it's very hard to sit like a barbie all day long . :o
Also isn't the other reason for Nighttime weddings due to being able to accomodate out of state guests, or even out of towners, so that they are able to make it. Plus you don't get that evening glow during the day.
