Wedding (Shadi) Planning

Lifestyle Relationships
1

My Wedding will be in Pakistan in January Insahallah! So there are quite a lot of stuff be planning beforehand, before we reach there for the event. So my problem is that I’ve never attented a real wedding in Pakistan. My knowledge is limited to the things that I hear or see in some wedding videos. We want to do as much as planning before getting there as the rest of the time will be spent doing shopping. So I would like to hear what goes on middle class, medium size weddings in Pakistan and things that have to be prepared on time and what kind of traditions are there ? Secondly I don’t know how many dished can be served, I’ve heard that only one dish.

Here is my list of things to be done.

  • Renting a hall, car.
  • Getting shadi Cards.
  • Making a list of people whom u will invite
  • Thinking of the wedding dresses
2

Well i think you have covered most of the stuff you need to do. Are you going to be buying presents for Mr Saadia and his family? Will you be buying them in pak or europe? What about hiring photographers or someone to make a video? Flowers? Decorations? Music? Favours? Wedding Cake? Who is going to do your hair and makeup on the big day? Will they come to your house or will you need to go to the beauty parlour? Whats the weather going to be like ie will you need somewhere with air con or heating? Foodwise whatever you choose don't forget my shami kebabs.

3

Thanks Shahreen, I was looking for some more ideas, so that we don't have stress, when we're there at the end.

As for buying presents for Mr M and his family, well is this some kind of tradition because I don't want them to feel uncomfortble getting present from me as I will be the new bride there. I might get some presents from here, as I will not have much time for that there.

Hiring photographers and video making, Have already thought of that, its in to to do list already, just forgatten to add this here.

Flowers and decoration will be provided with the hall. (I hope!)
Decoration of home will be done then.

Music, hah here I am so clueless, my cousins will do this part.

Wedding cake, this is a good idea, I haven't seen it in a desi wedding, but I like it.

Hair and makeup, I will decide the palour when I am there, I don't think that they come at home, as they need their ithems in the palour.

Weather, its gonna be cold, we have heaters at home, otherwise its not so great in winters.

Food, I saw some banquets quotations and well now I've heard that only one dish allowed, so its gonna be difficult to choice. heh yes shami kebab is a must, I am looking foward to all that yummy food.

My biggest worry is the shopping of dresses, this will be quite a headache, especially selecting the darzi's and then bringing it back for changes.

ps! your icon is so cute

4

Saadia, you've never had wedding cake at a desi wedding? Its the only reason I go.

Are you and hubby going to have wedding rings? If so then you need to get those too.

5

Forgot to mention.....GUNFIRE (not that I'm advocating violence or anything but it sure makes everything go with a bang)

6

WOW mashallah saadia baji bohot bohot mubarak ho :hug: :flower1: :hug:

hmmmm…desi weddings can be as simple or as fancy as you want to make them…

one thing that you should think about from now is if you want to do it in a shaadi hall or near your house in a tent…its a status/show off thing if u do it in a shaadi hall and the more expensive place u do it in…but u should check if there’s a big open space near ur house it could also be done there… if you plan to have any of the events in a shaadi hall, these get booked pretty early so you’ll have to get the shaadi hall booked asap…

u’ll also have to think about the cards and start preparing the guest list from now…

i’ll mention things which u guys might have skipped above till now…

shopping shouldnt be that much of a problem, just get down to it and keep doing it and it’ll get done…but make sure to get it done a bit in advance…

you will have to decide which events u want…this is how they r in order…

  1. dholki
  2. mayoon
  3. mehndi at girl’s house
  4. mehndi at boy’s house
  5. baraat
  6. valima

1, 2, 3 and 4 are optional…u can do or not do any/all of them…

for the dholki it involves getting ppl over ur house and them singing songs etc, helping u in packing up the gifts for the susraal, getting things ready, and just having a festive atmosphere…

in the mayoon there are some rasams but it is done separately and the other side is not involved…

mehndi u take to the other side’s house…and u have to make decorated mehndi containers and ur side if it wants has to prepare songs and dances as usually there’s a competition…

at the baraat there’s lots of rasams depending on which ones ur family does…and the girl’s side pays and arranges for the food…it totally depends what u serve there depending on how fancy u want the wedding to be…

something typical n very simple for a middle class wedding can be beef biryani, chicken qorma, beef kababs, taaftaan, raaita, salaad…and custars/kheer for dessert…and coke…but some people have very fancy weddings and serve a huge variety of foods in many courses…so its otally upto how ur family does it..

valima is simple and the guy’s side takes care of it…

also if u r planning to get ur makeup done by someone famous, or a big beauty parlor its better to get the appointment from now as they are always well booked in advance…

u asked abt buying gifts…yyup u have to buy gfts for everyone on that side…its a must…

hmmm..dont worry i am sure everything will get done…will u have a lot of family members to help u out with the preparations theres?

best of luck :flower1: mubarakaan again :hug:

7

I don't think there is a wedding cake in a wedding in Pakistan. And if Saadia is getting married in Pakistan, then there is no need to plan for a cake either. But rest assured, there are hundreds of other rasm's (if you are into those) which will keep you occupied.

As far as pre-planning is concerned.. gifts, jewellary and dresses are probably the main focus. Plus wedding invitations. Don't you have relatives in Pakistan who can take care of wedding hall, catering, rental car, booking of make-up parlor and all that?

8

Faisal bhai aaj kal wedding cake ka bohot fashion chala hua hae, everyone i know has a wedding cake...and the time its usually cut is after the rukhsati when the girl come's to the guy's house...

its just a new thing and u dont have to do it Saadia baji, its not part of the normal desi wedding traditions...i say khamakha ka wakhta hae just skip it :D

coz u have the desi rasams anyway to do at that time after rukhsati like mithai khilana, doodh pilana and not to mention the extensive photography session that takes place...the cake is just something extra and a non desi thing anyway..its sweet if u want to do it but totally optional..

9

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by irem: *
Faisal bhai aaj kal wedding cake ka bohot fashion chala hua hae,
[/QUOTE]
Masha Allah. Whats next? White wedding gown for the dulhan? :-o

10

:nono4: Allah na karay Faisal bhai :smiley: waisay the way we are aping the west pata naheen aagay kya dekhne ko milta hae :smiley:

Saadia baji i forgot to ask one thing…usually in desi weddings when the dulhan’s side gives jahez to the girl [usually furniture, home machinery, appliances n usage items, clothes, jewelry] it is all collected in one room and decorated there aur us ki movie banti hae..

usually shadi ke do teen maheenay pehle se wo room khali kar dya jata hae dulhan k ghar mein and wahan cheesain sajana shuru ker dee jaati haen like clothes, shoes, jewelry, makeup, other such things etc etc…home usage items, kitchen items etc…

plus the big things like frniture and fridge washing mchine etc is trasnported to an empty room in the guys house and other areas in his house, aur us ki bhee movie banti hae..

coz ppl ask k ji what did u guys give to ur daughter…

khair i think this is a bit cheap infact totally cheap and its done just for dikhawa but most ppl do it so if u guys r planning to do it too then u’ll have to think about that too like shopping for ALL those things etc…

since u r prolly gona come back from pak tho it doesnt make much sense for u to do this tho as how will u carry all that stuff back…

11

If you guys are going to settle abroad, then there is little sense in giving jahaiz full of furniture etc in Pakistan. Why not just give all gifts in money-form, and you guys can set your new home the way you want, whereever you are going to live, happily ever after. :k:

12

loadsa mubarkaan saadia:flower1: :bhangra:

13

congratulations sadiaa, now you have got many ideas so i just wish you good luck :)

14

Thanks Irem, I knew that you'd be here for my rescue :D

Okay I want this wedding to be pratical and to be just simple. We just dont have time for all the rasm's and to tell you the truth, I am just not the rasm kind of person and so his he not.

Irem, you asked if we will do the shadi at home, well we could do it, but the last time my Nikkah was done at home, our house became a big whole mess. The kids were running all around :o and there were stains of salan on our walls. I seriously don't want this again, its not a status thingy but we want to save our house from mess and well a shadi is simply better in a hall than on the streets. So thanks for the recommandation of early booking, we will do the baraat there.

As for the 'other' events, maybe there is going to be a small mehndi with only close family members at home.

As for shopping, I will not do so much, only that is necessary, this is because I wear s/k only at few occasions in a year, so it will be fazool to make loads of them and not wear them and they get out of fashion.

For shadi dinner, you gave some good ideas, simply these are things offered and I want a nice banquet, as we know why people come to weddings at the first place. ;)

About jahez, well Faisal bhai is right, we are not planning on staying in Pakistan, so there will be no use and we can surly use the money for other things here.

Faisal, yes my family will take care of these things in pakistan, but its up to us what kind of shadi we want and I think I just cant let anyone else do my shadi planning.

Shahreen, as u said gun, it got me scared for a moment, we had these things in village. About cities I dont honestly know..

Thanks, Mehros, pk, irem for all the mubarakan.

15

Saadia baji :slight_smile:

shadi hall sounds like a good idea, but do keep in mind the huge amount of money you will be saving if you did it in a shaamiaana near your house or in your house if there’s space…i think the rent for halls is very high…plus you will also have to rent a bus to take all the relatives to the hall and bring them back…food will also be a bit more expensive then if you just gt degein cooked at your house…

i think if you do it in a medium hall in pindi…then the hall rent could be only around 30-40,000 rupees…this is my gues…someone plz correct me if i am wrong…

doing it in a shamiana and having the intezaam near your house will be less than around max 5,000 i think excluding the food…and you could make sure that all rooms of your house are locked, only lounge n bathrooms and kitchen are open to guests..

these prices r just my andaaza from what i remember my uncles and cousins talking etc…not very sure…guys will probably know more about this…

but if that money is not a huge issue then you should go for a hall…it gives a proper shaadi feeling and yes will save you guys a LOT of work…

Doing Mehndi means there will be one at ur place and one at their place…for the one at ur place they will bring over mehndi and do rasmein on you…and for the one there your family will go there with mehndi and do rasmein…

and the mehndi can be very simple…you will have to do the basic mehndi rasms…but those can be very simple…

You wil have to get one jora for the mehndi it means too…but that will not be too fancy…

I understand what you mean about not wanting too many SK’s…just gt some really nice ones which you know you will wear…you can get some nice gold jewelry…

plus you will have to buy your shadia ka jora [dont know how you guys are doing it…r they giving it to u or are u getting it made for urself? what abt the valima clothes?]

plus you will have to buy gifts for your susraalis..and all other small things like mehndi decoration items…packing material for gifts..etc etc…

u r not going to have jahez so that saves a lot of effort..shukar…

you will get more of an idea about what you should serve for the food depending on when you talk to your relatives…

i think you can have something like this which will not be too expensive but also be considered good…

main dish:

  • chicken tikkas

  • seekh kabab

  • chicken qorma

  • baryani [if u have chicken qorma then do beef biryani or vice versa]

roti item:

  • parathay
  • naan
  • taaftaan

extra:

  • raaita
  • salaad
  • aaloo bukharay kee chatni

sweetdish:
could have one or more of:

  • kaddu kee kheer
  • meethay chawal
  • fruit custard trifle
  • gajar ka halwa

drink:

  • coke and other soft drinks
  • kashmiri chai

you can also serve meetha paan at the end :smiley:

for mehndi if you are thinking of doing food you could do paratha, raita, salaad and seekh kabab and nan and chicken qorma…then u can remove the repeated items from the shadi menu…this goes very well for a simple mehndi at home…

best of luck :hug:

16

:rotato: Irem, ever considered to becoming a full time Wedding Planner? CS ko maaro goli! You sometimes remind me of J-Lo in “The Wedding Planner” and sometimes (when you are talking about shamiyana and stuff) you reminded me of that dude in “The Monsoon Wedding” :smiley:

Well, good stuff there. Shamiana, plus chairs, plus catering won’t be so cheap (5,000 mein tau daarh bhi geeli nahi hotee), but yeah, it will definitely be cheaper than shaadi hall or hotel. But it all depends on which area you live in, and whether there is an open area nearby which you can use. Otherwise, the only option is to go with hall or hotel.

Plus, I am not sure about the weather. Hopefully it won’t be raining, cz open shamianas can be a disaster if unexpected rain comes in. That is the single biggest factor, why people avoid the risk and opt for closed (air-conditioned-heated) hotels.

17

Faisal, yeah I was thinking the same, Irem should be a wedding planner. :D

And he is right, Shamiana and all isn't cheap, sometimes its better to do the event in a hall if you don't have much time to organise the event. I have seen the rates at Saddar and I have seen the rates of catering the dishes, cultery, chairs ect.. they come quite close, it also depends on the type of food also but its not much of a difference, I guess

At one shadi hall they were saying that they cannot offer more then one dish as they are controlled by the army and some halls said they will make more. I think this is so stupid because people will eat the same amount of food if more dishes or lesser and I think there should be some kind of variaty.

You mentioned good dishes .. Faisal another good point of weather.

Shadi ka jora, I will be getting one from their side, but thats when I am there, so this will have to done in a week's time or so ? I do hope they do it in such a short time.

Susraal gift's will be done by my mom.

18

well first of all congrats :flower1:

n i just wanted to tell u to remember to ENJOY the occassion…often what happens is that u get so caught up in trying to make the event absolutely perfect that u forget to enjoy it urself, i mean at the time it may seem important that there be this many flowers or theres not enough seats or whos going to sit on what table and so on…but when u look back on ur big day u wont remember those things…my sister did that at first then all of us sat her down n told her to relax and have fun n she did n now she doesnt remember all the stuff we went through

19

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by SaadiaB: *

My biggest worry is the shopping of dresses, this will be quite a headache, especially selecting the darzi's and then bringing it back for changes.

ps! your icon is so cute
[/QUOTE]

Congratulations!

I went shopping for wedding dresses for a family friend while in Pakistan..this was in Lahore btw (where are you getting married in pakistan?) and we choose the outfit we like the most (there was soooo much choice....) it was in International Depot in Liberty and then they said they would stitch it too...we gave them a kameez that fit....they put the lining on it and everything (and there's a lil cute bag they make)....we were in a hurry to get the dress becuase we were gna be flying back...they did the stitching in three days..it was hassle free seriously no headache!...but there's loads of places where u can find dresses...but some of the bigger stores do the stitching make sure u ask!

LP's right make sure u enjoy the day :)