WEDDING QUESTIONS

Lifestyle Wedding, Fashion & Beauty
1

Hi,
I am engaged to be married, so i thought of creating a thread where everyone can come and ask any question related to weddings and everyone can help us in a single thread.

Ok here i go:

  • T****he engagement ring that the bride is given from the groom’s side, is bride’s choice considered or groom’s family them self get it? (In my case, i described it orally that i want it to be single stoned etc. but i wasnt asked to accompany them or show designs of what really i wanted)

  • If you were to stay in the same city, how many dresses should you make? Wedding wear? Party Wear? Saris? Night suits/lingeries? Casual shalwar kameez? Pants/shirts/blouses/tunics etc. for honeymoon?

  • What is the norm for getting gifts for the groom’s family? How many dresses for mother/father/siblings?

  • What should the parents get for the groom?

  • How can you suggest to the groom, just hints that you would prefer staying the first night at a hotel in privacy?

  • If there is no trend of dawats in your family, do people make a big fuss about it later?

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Re: WEDDING QUESTIONS

To the 5th point, even i would like to know.... ;)

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so for your first question I would say it really depends on you and your fiance most of the time because if you are comfortable enough with your fiance to hint at what you want then I'm sure he'll try his best to get you that and parents don't intervene with the ring picking.....in my case my husband couldn't buy me a diamond ring for the engagement since it was so last minute but he knew what I wanted and for the engagement I got a gold ring which he had picked out so I loved it regardless.....later on I actually got 2 diamond rings for the wedding lmao

as far as making dresses .....don't make too many formal dresses at once because styles change rather quickly and if you don't get to where all of them then you'll feel like buying something that's more in later on but you'll still have a huge collection that you haven't worn....idk just my opinion.....so get like 5-6 heavy formal wear, a few semi formal, a few casual and lingerie really depends on you because I love buying lingerie so I bought a whole bunch

parents can get a watch for him ie a movado maybe?

the hotel question can get offensive for some annoying mother in laws who would want the bahu at home for the first night idk lol .....why don't you casually mention someone who did that for their wedding with your fiance and be like I think that was a cute idea and see what he thinks about it that way you would find out if he is up for it

not too sure about the dawats, but I think if your family doesn't throw dawats then people do talk.....my in laws threw one for my parents and my parents threw one for me and the in laws lol ......my sister in law didn't bother to throw a dawat and my aunts did inquire about it from me later ....so yes people can make a fuss out of it

hope that helped

Can we define God by the way of science?
4

my engagement ring was picked by his mom; that's why its gold not white gold aghh..it honestly depends on this one.

For dresses, i am going to be staying in the same city so what i plan is to make 4 formals, 3-4 medium and 10 regular to wear at home since i have none.

to give his family, i plan on making shalwar kameez for his mom, brother and uncle.

my parents will give him a watch.

my fiance suggested this idea, but i would like to make it traditional and have all the rasams and all at the house. Plus, i would be too shy to just go away to a hotel after rukhsati. I would rather go to a hotel sometime after not the first night.
It depends on people i guess.

there is a trend, but no one fuss about it if some one is not able to do it.
sometimes they throw a big dawat with one dish thing so it is kinda from everyone. it varies.

5

Ok here i go:

  • The engagement ring that the bride is given from the groom's side, is bride's choice considered or groom's family them self get it?

Humara nikkah itni jaldi mein huwa that he was unable to get ring for me...then after nikkah I came back to the USA and kept telling him that I want a ring for rukhsati but we will go shopping for it together...then I really fell in love with this ring I found at a store over here and I bought it and told him that he will have to pay my parents back for it

  • If you were to stay in the same city, how many dresses should you make? Wedding wear? Party Wear? Saris? Night suits/lingeries? Casual shalwar kameez? Pants/shirts/blouses/tunics etc. for honeymoon?

I;m not staying in the same city therefore there are 5 dresses from my parents
and 3-5 from my hubby who wanted to have 17 made but I begged him and told him not to so that I could make new styles whenever I want

lingerie I got a lot of hehe

  • What is the norm for getting gifts for the groom's family? How many dresses for mother/father/siblings?

one sari for his mom for nikkah
one for rukhsati
one pishwas each for both his sisters for nikkah
and one gown each for his sisters to be altered as per their tastes for rukhsati

during nikkah also got a pair of karras for his mom a pair of earings each for his sisters and one for his bhabhi

and gave money for the suits of his brothers will do same for rukhsati :)

  • What should the parents get for the groom?

we got 8 pairs of pants and 8 dress shirts plus his nikkah sherwani and his valeeme ka joda

plus a watch and ring for nikkah and a watch and ring for rukhsati

plus wallet, cufflinks, tie clip and ties

  • How can you suggest to the groom, just hints that you would prefer staying the first night at a hotel in privacy?

I didn't suggest...I came right out and said it

since rukhsati will be in lhr we will spend nigts at hotel and when we go back to KHI rasams uss waqt hongi

  • If there is no trend of dawats in your family, do people make a big fuss about it later?

i dont know about this cuz we have this trend

6

Re: WEDDING QUESTIONS

  • The engagement ring that the bride is given from the groom's side, is bride's choice considered or groom's family them self get it?

It depends on the family. I guess its traditional for the groom's family to get it (and other things like the joras) without considering your preferences...my fiance got it with my sister's help so that I would love it, but it would still be a surprise.

  • If you were to stay in the same city, how many dresses should you make? Wedding wear? Party Wear? Saris? Night suits/lingeries? Casual shalwar kameez? Pants/shirts/blouses/tunics etc. for honeymoon?

depends on the area you'll be living in. If you're in the West and there's not a big Muslim community, you wont need as many fancy dresses. Besides, I think regardless its stupid to get too many outfits made at once since fashion changes quickly and often. For the honeymoon, find out how many days and nights you'll be the there, the type of environment (beach or mountains for example) and pack accordingly. If you'll be on a beach, then bringing heels might not be a good idea....if there arent a lot of expensive restaurants nearby, then bringing a fancy outfit might make you look overdone. You should just consider things like that...

  • What is the norm for getting gifts for the groom's family? How many dresses for mother/father/siblings?

There isnt any norm....people make choices based on tradition and expenses. For some, its a MUST to get a gift for all of the groom's chaachis and phuppos and khalahs and mamis...obviously if you're doing that, you'll have to get outfits. Some just get gifts for the immediate family of the groom, which means you can get something a little bit nicer, like gold earrings or something.

  • What should the parents get for the groom?

Whatever they can afford that's nice. I would rather get the groom 2 higher end shirts and pants than 10 pants and shirts that arent top quality. We are getting a watch, a ring, cufflinks, cologne, a suit, and a shaving kit for sure....still thinking about pajamas, shirts and pants because the things we bought are already costly.

  • How can you suggest to the groom, just hints that you would prefer staying the first night at a hotel in privacy?

haha I don't get why people can't talk to the groom openly? Why hint, just say "is there any way we could stay the first night in a nice hotel? Then we can do all the rasams by going to your parents house in the morning" Besides, if you're getting married in Pakistan and in a hotel, they give you a free hotel room for that night anyways.

  • If there is no trend of dawats in your family, do people make a big fuss about it later?

People make a fuss about everything, from how much you spend on the dress, to what gifts you gave the family to how many joras your in laws gave you. It REALLY doesnt matter if anyone makes a fuss....just say, "in our family, it isnt a tradition to have dawats after the wedding." people who say stupid things like this are not truly happy for you.

Time Pass - جولائی - رمضان کا مہینہ
Time Pass - جولائی - رمضان کا مہینہ
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Re: WEDDING QUESTIONS

  • The engagement ring that the bride is given from the groom's side, is bride's choice considered or groom's family them self get it?

     Well, I think it is supposed to be the choice of the in laws but in my case, I was given a promise ring like 2 yrs ago but I told him I want a FANCY engagement ring. We both went shopping with his brother a few weeks before our engagement and he bought me the ring of my choice :).

  • If you were to stay in the same city, how many dresses should you make? 

    I will be living in the same city and since we're in Canada, I do not think getting TOO many dresses made will be necessary. I am thinking of getting 4 really fancy outfits made for when we go out and then 4 okay-ish outfits to wear at home.

  • What is the norm for getting gifts for the groom's family?

    There isn't REALLY a norm, all depends on u. In my case, We r giving his mom and his 2 aunts that live in Canada suits and also earrings for his mom. His sister a suit and earrings, his dad and brother suits and cuff links and his 3 female cousins suits and his one male cousin a suit as well.

  • What should the parents get for the groom?

    I am picking all the stuff he will be getting which will include:
    • Armani tie.
    • 2 designer shirts.
    • Designer cologne.
    • Cuff Links (made of real silver).
    • Pair of nice dress shoes.

  • How can you suggest to the groom, just hints that you would prefer staying the first night at a hotel in privacy?

      umm, u should just tell him straight up. No need to drop hints. U guys r getting married, u should have at least this much communication :). As for me, He has already told me its gonna be hotel :P

  • If there is no trend of dawats in your family, do people make a big fuss about it later?

    I guess here in Canada it wont be a fuss but in Pakistan it might be. Our parents r gonna invite me n the in laws for dawat. My sister is gonna invite us. Also, Im sure his aunts r gonna invite us too and in laws r gonna invite my parents too.

Good luck! =)

8

Thank You all!

Here are a few more:

  • Do all families have the trend of maklawa? I mean after the valima or the next night after valima, going and staying at the bride's parents house. Also, which side gifts which side on this event?

  • **Is it somewhat a relief on the wedding events if your nikkah is already done? **For those who had their nikkahs on their mehendi or baraat day, was it very stressful?

  • This is a very important question for me: What regime do the bride's follow that makes them glow and look so clean. Every bride's pimples, scars, extra hair, etc. all are gone. Their skins are even toned and they look so fresh. What do they do?

  • What is an appropriate event to wear a sari - of course not on the mehendi, baraat or valima but other than that if no wedding is on its way, where can you get away with wearing a heavy sari?

  • *If you are actually going to the hotel for the first night, what should you pack in your suit case essentials for the night and the next day? *

  • Do parlours offer a package pre-wedding preparation. E.g. Allenora, madihas, Do they offer pakages for complete waxing, facials, bleach, manicures, pedicures, polishing etc. I would personally like to have things done starting a month before the wedding and should be kind of regular. My arms are a little tan and my face is also not even toned. I would like to follow a regime to get it all right before the big day. What did you guys do?

  • Is it okay to take your old clothes or old jewellery, make up shoes etc. with you? There are many of my present shoes and clothes that i just love, even though i have worn them. What about them?

9
  • Do all families have the trend of maklawa? I mean after the valima or the next night after valima, going and staying at the bride’s parents house. Also, which side gifts which side on this event?

no not all family has this … and I dont know who gifts who on this event

  • **Is it somewhat a relief on the wedding events if your nikkah is already done? **For those who had their nikkahs on their mehendi or baraat day, was it very stressful?

I think it is more costly for the bride’s family because they have to pay for nikkah event as well as the rukhsati event double double payment for basically the same day if your nikkahfied but havent done the rukhsati and stuff…but i think i’ve found it is better to be nikkah fied and wait a while for your other events…because it gives you time to develop strong understanding with your hubby…like with me I wouldnt have been as comfortable saying what i want if everything had been done at once but now I am more comfortbale saying hey man I want the valima dress to be of my choice i want the burri clothes to be made according to my tastes I want this i dont want that etc

  • This is a very important question for me: What regime do the bride’s follow that makes them glow and look so clean. Every bride’s pimples, scars, extra hair, etc. all are gone. Their skins are even toned and they look so fresh. What do they do?

I had weekly facials…just normal ones…I did a subway diet …I also drink a very special juice even now which is a blend of spinachk, brocolli, oranges, apples, grapes…just throw every fruit and veggie i find throw it blender and drink…i applied moisturizer day and night and pretty much all the time I aloso used this neutrogena machine here’s the link for you for it…i used this day and night (Neutrogena Facial Cleanser - www.NeutrogenaWave.com) along with shiseido products to make my skin glow and make it whiter lolz here’s link for that (SHISEIDO | White Lucent)

  • What is an appropriate event to wear a sari - of course not on the mehendi, baraat or valima but other than that if no wedding is on its way, where can you get away with wearing a heavy sari?

i think the daawats after your valima is when you can wear saris

  • **If you are actually going to the hotel for the first night, what should you pack in your suit case essentials for the night and the next day? **

your skin care, your tooth brush, your hair brush, your hair accesories, your lingerie, what you are going to wear the next day (i..e. clothes, jewelery, shoes)

  • Do parlours offer a package pre-wedding preparation. E.g. Allenora, madihas, Do they offer pakages for complete waxing, facials, bleach, manicures, pedicures, polishing etc. I would personally like to have things done starting a month before the wedding and should be kind of regular. My arms are a little tan and my face is also not even toned. I would like to follow a regime to get it all right before the big day. What did you guys do?

hmm i didnt particioate in any suchting except for wat i did at home

  • Is it okay to take your old clothes or old jewellery, make up shoes etc. with you? There are many of my present shoes and clothes that i just love, even though i have worn them. What about them?

yes it is …I am taking my old purses, makeup and some old clothes cuz they look new :wink: