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since the nikkah ceremony is usually arranged by the brides family do it where u live. The valima is hosted by the grooms side..do that in pak.
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^ its not always so easy.. me thinks... u have to kinda compromise about whats convenient for everyone...
lets say if the parents or important family members cant attend the nikkah ceremony in ur desired location... then its prob best to just compromise... :) i think it sorta pays off in the end... :)
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-since i'm the ONLY girl in my WHOLE family..my wedding is going to be HUGE...and the fact that my hubby is the ONLY guy in his immediate family..it IS going to be huge..we are thinkning about getting engaged soon..but we do know that it's going to be a wedding that no one is going to forget..the wedding is going to take place here in canada...not too sure about the details yet...we still got long ways to go..
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opps..forgot to write in ..me and my hubby met on chat when we were both young..i was in gr5 he was in gr 6...we didnt like like each other..just friends..in high school we became good friends..yet we went to different schools so we grew closer through chatting..but yeah we ended up going to the same university..and we fell in love ...wow..even when i think about it..it's still like a fairy tale...i'm a lucky girl...
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^ aww 
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oh wow, i have some friends through chat, but all of them are girls, i never took any chance with boys, but after reading ur story i think i should think about it,
hehe just kidding btw........
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(well most of my friends who already got married or engaged met their spouse online:blush:…)
back to topic: big functiuns are scaring me…i know it’s nice to have big family functiun but i can’t think about having big wedding party cause my family and my bf family do not speak any common languages:(…so there is no way they can talk to each other…only young generation who speak english like my sister or his siblings could do translation:(…plus our families are not in same country of course:rolleyes:
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awww..dont worry everything will be FINE :)
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Any luck on settling a place? I guess it depends on where the most important (immediate) family members reside. Are your parents in the US? If so, then I can see where the problem lies. As one person mentioned earlier, especially post 9/11, family members coming to the US from overseas is near impossible, visa-wise and financially, and so often it makes much more sense to go back home and wed. In my case, my immediate family is here, and my fiance's immediate family is here too. As such, we'll have our wedding here in the US. We have a lot of family members back home too, so later on, we'll have a formal reception ceremony for the rest of our relatives. Good luck with your wedding plans.
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I’d have a small party in NYC (pre or post wedding) for all my friends and relatives and his too, but my actual wedding will be in Pakistan inshallah .. i have all of my loved ones here, over here weddings (if u wanna do em the desi way with the rasams and stuff) r done properly… mayyon, dholki, mehndi, barat/rukhsati, nashta-dayna, valima, muklaava.. 
my bro’s wedding was very simple, it was very sudden, but it was nice.. everyone here in pak is still waiting for them to come and have a proper function/party, they said they don’t care if she’ll be 7 months pregnant, they’re still gonna make her a dulhan .. now that’ll be a sight!! 
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anyway so my question is where are u from, where is ur prospective spouse from and where will you be having the wedding?
^ Ameen.
Hey, i'm from the UK but i live in the States now and so does my fiance...our wedding will be in his state...don't have many relatives back in Pakistan, and most of our guests (on both sides) will find it easier to get to his state, so that's y we will do it there...my parents r happy with that too.