I never get why desi women like Gold jewelry so much to begin with! ... It looks really crappy to me. Also, I would never accept such an expensive gift FROM anyone be it my Inlaws or whoever. I strictly told my inlaws before the wedding that I DO NOT WANT ANY GOLD JEWELRY SO DON'T BOTHER. IF I get any from you, I will probably lose it. They probably thought "kitni ajeeb larki hai".. I didn't get any jewelry from them so on the day of our wedding, my MIL made me wear my SIL's sonay ki chooriyan. I told them I will lose it DON'T DO THIS. Surely enough I lost two of them along with my engagement ring and a 6 year old white gold necklace I got from my hubby on valentine's day. That's a lesson learned for all of us - I am not worth it! lol
What?! Sorry, but that's total stupidity. There are A LOT of armed robberies in Pakistan and you guys are basically sitting ducks. Get that gold to the bank ASAP! And don't worry, banks don't steal your things; Pak isn't as lawless as you Britishers think it is :p
^is there ONE person on this forum that 'your highness' considers to have half the wisdom you carry in your head ? I mean ap kisi ko apnay level ka samajhtay hain ? you have to go against every comment you come across !!
when it comes to robbery in banks, yes,there is lawlessness. when there are robberies, even if the lockers remained untouched, banks declare them robbed and they are not responsible for whatever is kept in the lockers ! I have actually known someone who had to go through this and bank walay conveniently told ; hum ko dikhaa kay thori rakha tha aap ne zewar? humayn kya pata tha bhi ya nahin' ! wake up man !
I would never have my MIL 'look after' gold sets etc. for me.. Just on principle it seems strange to me.. My mum wanted to keep my SILs wedding sets but she and my brother stood firm and she reluctantly gave it to them in the end to put in the bank.. Control issues..
*a GIFT is a gift, is a gift, is a gift which once given can NOT be taken back under any law in any country unless one signs a prenuptial or some other kinda agreement. *
^is there ONE person on this forum that 'your highness' considers to have half the wisdom you carry in your head ?
!
No.
[QUOTE]
when it comes to robbery in banks, yes,there is lawlessness. when there are robberies, even if the lockers remained untouched, banks declare them robbed and they are not responsible for whatever is kept in the lockers ! I have actually known someone who had to go through this and bank walay conveniently told ; hum ko dikhaa kay thori rakha tha aap ne zewar? humayn kya pata tha bhi ya nahin' ! wake up man
[/QUOTE]
No. you wake up! Are you even aware that lockers have two keys and the bank can't open the locker without the key? I would know, my Phupo has worked in Habib Bank all her life. If you think your gold is safer in your home than in the bank, you are utterly deluded.
the gold is given as a gift so the girl should keep it. but if u look at it from the "giver point of view". like somtimes the girls family gives gold karas to the groom's mother on the wedding. what if the ma-in-law turns around and gives the karas to her daughter to "wear". wouldn't that offend the giver? so i guess the same feelings r fealt from sasural if the bhau dicides to keep the gold with the mom.
the gold is given as a gift so the girl should keep it. but if u look at it from the "giver point of view". like somtimes the girls family gives gold karas to the groom's mother on the wedding. what if the ma-in-law turns around and gives the karas to her daughter to "wear". wouldn't that offend the giver? so i guess the same feelings r fealt from sasural if the bhau dicides to keep the gold with the mom.
Heh. I know someone who took the stuff their bahu's family gifted them...and they gifted that to their daughters in laws.
If she keeps it herself or in a locker, I can understand...but why keep it at another house then? I still wouldn't agree iwth the in laws who insist on keeping it...but I could understand if htey'd feel weird about that..
The only time I gave my mom or MIL stuff to keep was if I was going away for a bit, in fact when I went on my honeymoon, I sent some jewelry back with my parents (we were in another country for the wedding and they were going home), and whatever was left, I gave to my MIL to hold on to..she told me to count it all out in front of her both when I gave it to her and when she gave it back..
well, in london back home i had it all with me. but im a bit careless, in factn i have suits worth hundreds pounds, and the gold jewelrry, and i dnt care for them as i should....suits are all over the place, stuffed into suitcases if not wearing them...etc, im actually just careless. i did want to put it in a bank because of this, but now in pak, i dnt trust banks here or anything else for that matter. my small bits of gold are locked in my room, but the draw isnt big enough for the wedding gold, which was massive, so theres a cupboard in our house with everyones gold stored in it ( well my mils and mine) and other stuff , and its locked there.
If it ever went missing, i knew whod to blame. :]
And....where is this cupboard?? Lol.
I know who your in-laws would blame if they ever found this post.....;)
OP,you need to go back and read that thread again :) the bhabi took all the jewellery,both sides, her AND her husband;s and hers axsalaami money WITHOUT telling her husband or anyone and stayed quiet until a month when she kept wearing nothing or artificial jewellery for family dinners and when asked about the gold one, she lied for 5 days that it is in the room and later told she left it all with her dad because he thought things were not safe at her ILs home :halo" as if she was safe there and jewellery mattered more to him!she left home for minors complaints in 6 weeks of marriage and now when it is exactly 4 months since the wedding, they have filed a case in the court against the ILs claiming money in lacs,all the bari and what not with khula. Accirding to the ILs lawyer, it seems a case of 'halaala' where a divorced girls needs to get a divorce from a different man so she can go back to her husband ! So in this case, when the sole intention seems to get married into another family, steal (yes, STEAL) all the money and jewellery and go back and claim the bari and everything on top of more money as a fine,when the intention is NOT to continue marriage from day one, NO , jewellery doesnt belong to the girl at all.
I know your point is valid but that doesnt apply to the scenario you mentioned in your post ! I just wanted to make clear so that people can think beyond the usual practice of blaming ILs
carry on :)
I had understood that part in your original thread. But that doesn't change the fact that once something has been given to a woman, it belongs to her. Period. Doesn't matter whether she deserves it or not. Of course, it was wrong of your sister in law to act with such 'stealth' and to lie about it. After all, it was her stuff anyway. Why did she have to take it out clandestinely?
Personally speaking, I believe that once you give stuff to someone then it's theirs, you lose every right over it. If she has wronged you, that doesn't mean you can take away stuff already given to her claiming she is evil. IMO, you should let her keep it, that way you will not have committed any ziyadti and your conscience will be clear. Let Allah mete out justice to her if she and her family have only done this for money and the jewels. Even when taking revenge, we must not transgress. Warna ham zaalim hon jayeinge. Jitni ziadti huwi hai utna hi badla lena chahiye. Khair, since it's your personal affair, and only you can choose how to act let's leave this debate here. I know how hurt you must feel already.