So I have been reading a lot about weddings as I am pretty much the wedding planner for my sister’s wedding :halo:.
The other day I was talking to a coleague who told me that they request cash on their wedding (how tacky) and actually made money.
What do you guys think?
Do you think it’s appropriate to ask for cash instead of gifts?
What would you prefer to receive at your wedding - if anything at all…
Would love to hear your opinions.
Re: Wedding Gifts?
I personally don't like it, but I think its becoming more and more acceptable now. The argument being that a lot of people(desis) living abroad don't know that technically you should just give cash instead of getting something like..say a blender. For my wedding Id love to get whatever my GUESTS feel comfortable with giving me, money OR gifts SIGH...because thats what makes a gift special. And on that note no, I wouldn't want to have a wedding registry either.
But do what you guys are comfortable with! If you guys think a lot of guests will show up with gifts and you would rather have cash...let them know I suppose. If you don't care either way then don't ask for "cash only" :)
Re: Wedding Gifts?
you can pint "No boxed gift item, only cash" on invitation cards.
Re: Wedding Gifts?
We have has a thread on this issue. There are people who find the no boxed gift option offending/tacky/disrespectful/greedy, there are people who support the no boxed gift option for their respective reasons. So at the end of the day, it is up to you and your family which option you like the best for your family.
Re: Wedding Gifts?
I have seen "No boxed gifts" printed on many desi invitations. I've never viewed this as being rude. Many of these weddings I've been to...I knew the couple lived in a different city or state....and in quite a few cases...both the guy and a girl had been living away from parents for several years....so they already had almost all the household items needed to "set up" their new home. I also realize that weddings can be costly and part of "caring" is helping the couple in a way they need it the most....and in many cases, I realize that the couple needs a check to pay off a wedding vendor more than they need a blender or toaster. :)
That being said....my fiance really wanted that "no boxed gifts" at our invitations...but after hearing the views from some of the ladies in this forum, I vetoed it. HOWEVER....we're not doing a registry at all. Within our friends, cash or checks is the "routine wedding gift" so this won't be an issue with them. We figured if co-workers or others ask us where we're registered, we would then verbally tell them that we're not registered simply b/c we already have everything we need for our home (or something similar). Now after than...they can choose what they want to gift us...if anything. :)
Re: Wedding Gifts?
This is an issue between me and my fiance right now. I particularly don't care for the "no boxed gifts" but my fiance hates telling people what to give, so we didn't get that printed on the invites.
The thing is - we'll be both moving out of country immediately after our wedding. So to me, it makes no sense to get boxed gifts as they simply will have no use. Which is why I'd prefer cash, if I am getting a gift. But my fiance also wants to register! I'm trying to explain that it makes no sense to do that as we're not taking anything with us....but his explanation - people would wanna know what to give and registering will make it easy for them. Sigh.
Re: Wedding Gifts?
That’s “man logic” for you! He doesn’t want to tell people what to give…but he wants to register specific items for people to pick out!
Have you asked him…what he plans on doing with all the gift when you guys move? Does he plan on taking everything internationally?
Re: Wedding Gifts?
i dnt think it luks nice at all 2 ask for cash! :nono:
but people who dnt have a good sense of picking appropriate gifts shud really just give cash. lol
Re: Wedding Gifts?
Yea I agree with most of the people here. And the whole reason I started looking into it is because they would be living with their in-laws in the beginning and they have everything in the house. It would be such a waste to recieve 4 toasters or 4-dinner sets which they probably would never use. Also, even if they need a dinner set or a toaster, there is no guarantee that they would actually like what they recieve. However, I agree that putting “Cash Only” on wedding invitations is really tacky and doesn’t sound nice. It is just one of those things that either you make people unhappy or you end up with stuff that you didn’t want. I wish there was an unwritten rule that people should pay cash cuz it would really help the newlyweds and they can spend it on stuff that they need and want. If 100 families are invited and bride n groom receive $50/family that’s still $5000 which could help them pay for their honeymoon or towards their wedding costs.
I am pretty sure we are not getting “cash only” or “no boxed gift items” printed on the invites because my BIL would freak out once he finds out..and again there no point of having a wedding registary when they don’t need the stuff right now anyway.
During my research I have come across something called “wedistry”. It is like a wedding registary where you can register with them and couples can receive cash for the things that they need.. I had no time to read in detail about it..here is the link anyway :
There is also honeywish:
Re: Wedding Gifts?
Giving cash is the “proper” thing to do though! When will people ever learn -____- Nobody wants a friggin toaster 
Re: Wedding Gifts?
Why oh why do people have a sense of entitlement that they must receive a gift of their choosing at their wedding 
Apparently a wedding is no longer about celebrating the joining together in holy matrimony of two people, but is now a cash grab. Apaprently it is the guests’ obligation to pay for the extravagant party they’ve been invited to or to pay for the honeymoon the couple is going on.
Re: Wedding Gifts?
I feel like there are two sides to this^^....sure a gift is a gift and I think that it is a bit tacky to include"no boxed gifts"or to tell guests what to bring by setting up a wedding registry....BUT at the same time the guests should KNOW not to bring boxed gifts. It really is an unspoken and understood thing. Because the couples can very well end up with multiple blenders and dinner sets. Its not the guests obligation to pay for the "extravagant party" but whatever "x" amount of money they are putting into the gift should just be given in cash no matter how much or less that amount is. HOWEVER, jewelry, or REALLY REALLY unique and personalized gifts are OK IMO. Since a good chunk of people don't know about the "cash" rule, people end up adding "no boxed gifts" to their invitations.
Re: Wedding Gifts?
The only reason my fiance wanted to register was so that if guests wanna brign something, they have a sense of direction and aren't lost. But I won him over and now we're not registering!
Re: Wedding Gifts?
@Sehrysh it is not about the “sense of entitlement” that a couple is “expecting” gifts…it is just how the society is…when you are invited at someones wedding you give something to the newlyweds to wish them luck and show your happiness on their union…
now couples don’t sit their and check who brough a gift and who didn’t and if someone didn’t then they obviously are not sent back…
I raised this issue keeping in mind that it happens. People do give something, either cash or gifts, at weddings to the bride and groom. and not because it is expected of them but because they want to. So if the guests are bringing something then why not it be something that would be useful in their new life.
Re: Wedding Gifts?
In the states, those couples who seem to have everything they need for their house and are don't like the "no boxed gifts" option opt for letting their guest's know that no present's/gifts/cash are required, and the couple/family would prefer the guest's to make a "donation" to their favorite charity. Therefore, those who think it's tacky to ask for gifts/cash or who are just well off and think it's tacky to ask for things on their wedding should very well choose this option--win-win situation for everyone.
I personally have no desire to receive multiple toasters/blenders/dinnerware sets/etc. that will not match my decor/taste. I also don't want to have a huge wedding registry where even though I might choose things but later on after the wedding decide I don't like/need and then have to go through the hassle of returning items.
Since bridal showers are common in the states, usually close friends have a better idea of what to gift the bride/couple for their need or just gift some nice lingerie! ;)