Should things go ahead (fingers crossed, duas needed) I should get married and move to paks in the near future. Most of my cousins in paks had their bedroom furniture made, although I dont understand the logic of that, as one would hope the guy slept on a bed and had cupboards in his room before the wedding! Anyways, since it seems I may have to become another victim of this, any ideas of what one should order and from where? In my view, the bed (of course!) and dressing table should suffice, should there be more?
Recommendations from Lahore and Sialkot plz, with poss price estimates!
Also, my pet peeve…why do we need to give the guy a watch on the wedding when he already has one??? {answers on a postcard!!!}
I’m not sure if they have built in closets in Pakistan, I have seen people with almarees in their homes. You might need one besides the bed and dressing table. You can get your furniture custom built but there are alot of interior decorating places in Lahore where you can go and pick something you like.
Hey hubnubs, are you planning on actually getting married in paks and moving straight to husbands place asap? In that case u would need to have all the furniture in place before u get there, right? So when will u have time to go shopping for readymade furniture there?
I also don't get that cultural thing where wife brings the bedroom furniture, but if u must, then u must.
I think usually what they do is bed, bedside cabinets, wardrobe, dressing table. I think that should b sufficient. Of course if they in built wardobes then don't get one.
On the plus side, u could choose something u really like, if it's well made it should last for ages and u will feel comfortable in your own room.
Why don't you talk to your husband about this? It is the guy's responsibility to provide for you and that includes getting a bedroom set. Don't fall prey to this practice in our culture!
Also, ask your husband if he needs an 'expensive' watch at the wedding..if he doesn't, why don't your parents just give him money that you guys can use to set up your place. There is absolutely nooo requirement for your parents to give him this super-expensive watch. It's just part of our culture and it has noooo significance. It's really stupid!
For the furniture, talk to ur fiance and discuss whether they need new one and whether it's expected for u to bring it. This might be a tricky issue, but I believe it's worth bringing up to see if the fiance and u share the same values and beliefs about cultural evils like jahez.
Second, u don't have to give a watch. My parents are not giving him one. He infact told me what he'd prefer [an iphone] haha.. so I got that instead. But that's from ME. It's entirely a personal decision.
My parents are just giving him money. I believe money should be given to not come off as stingy, and more importantly to show the guy that he is their son and he should treat u well... besides, you both get to spend the money so it's not that big a deal either.
wow...i was hoping not to see such practices in this day and age..but i was wrong. Its your husband's responsibility to provide you with a bed and other necessities in HIS/your home...the parents are not obligated at all..
i dont understand why the bride has to haul furniture along...that just looks bad...i would feel very awkward asking my parents to buy our furniture for us.
wow...i was hoping not to see such practices in this day and age..but i was wrong. Its your husband's responsibility to provide you with a bed and other necessities in HIS/your home...the parents are not obligated at all..
i dont understand why the bride has to haul furniture along...that just looks bad...i would feel very awkward asking my parents to buy our furniture for us.
Yeah you are right!!
I also got bedroom furniture in PK from my parents...My MIL told me many many many many times how much she gave her daughter!!!
I felt bad coz I looked like she was telling me coz I got only bedroom furniture (which was enough in my eyes)...
I feel very ashamed whenever my parents give me things for my house...or buy things for me....Yeah it's the duty of my husband...But he don' care about it...Coz in his pindu family JAHAIZ is a magic word!!! I've saved my money to spend on my furniture here!!! My parents bought all electricity stuff in my house...
Thanks girlies for the replies. My 2b is masha Allah quite secure financially, has a nice house, house help, nice cars etc. We havent talked on this issue yet, and I cannot imagine my MIL asking for it, I just wanted to be prepared in case! He has and continues to travel the world with his job, so he isnt your average desi guy, but nonetheless it crossed my mind!
The MIL said to him the other day, kitna intizaar karwao ge tum, muje meri beti laa do, phir chale jana next assignment par! (aww how sweet, but then i thought....i want to be with him travelling, not with ami jee at home watching star plus!!!!-but i m sure i ll work on them!!!)
I guess the point of bringing new furniture signifies that you're starting a new life, with things of your own choice rather than furniture that's been there for years that your in laws chose..
I dont know how important it is to brides-to-be, but for most women, having furniture of their own choice is just as important as having a dress of your own choice.
In our case, my fiance, her sister and Mom came to my house and my sister showed them the first floor which is being built for my fiance and me - I wanted my own furniture for my study and my tv room and would be buying all that myself...I let my fiance choose the rest - which worked out pretty well.
