Wedding drama

[soconfused]

Re: Wedding drama

@rabia3983

Maybe have your mom talk to your dad. Tell her how you are feeling and that he should be more understanding about this rishta since its not just a rishta…its a guy you want to marry. NO background checks needed, no istikharas needed as you have made up your mind.

Yeah, that…didn’t go well. there was a huge argument where my father claimed that he was being “forced” to say yes even if he didn’t want to. I think I just really lost faith when at one point he started claiming that “it’s just a rishta so I don’t know why you all are making a big deal about it. If I like it, we can continue; if not, there are plenty of other guys”. It was so…dismissive. Kind of disheartening.

@S_and_S

My cousin had to go through something similar actually two of them did. I think maybe as planning gets underway and you guys keep focused on the things you need to get done for the preps, it will start to click with your your dad. Maybe it’s a bit of of a control thing with your dad whose having a hard time accepting that this is the direction things are moving in whether he likes it or not. It kind of was like that for my cousins where my aunt was in bit of debial because she was marrying a non-Pakistani but my uncle everyone else was very supportive and started to convince my aunt this was the best thing and my family is pretty good about the kids marrying by their own choice so she came around as dates were decided and seeing the support of the family helped. Maybe you guys should all keep positive around the house, more so your mom and siblings so they can keep reminding him how satisfied everyone and is happy about it. Basically if ignoring the negatively even if it is coming from your dad and maybe he’ll come around as things begin to roll out into the planning phase?

it’s DEFINITELY a control issue. I’ve always been the “golden child” that does whatever the parents want and this is the first time that I’m doing something huge without asking for permission (at least that’s how he sees it, even though I’m trying to include everyone). That’s what my mom is trying to do; move along as if nothing is stopping us and then just hope my dad agrees.
It’s compounded by the fact that I have a very hard time articulating thoughts like these to my father. Call me stupid, old-fashioned, etc. It’s just really difficult for me to be like “I’m in love w/ this guy and I have to be with him”. i blame myself for that.

well…it seems to have worked for some people so hopefully it’ll turn out alright. It’s hard to be put in a situation where you’re put in the middle of 2 parties and one side is being completely irrational.