Re: wedding dilemma
sonia-c - just reading all that has filled up my eyes massively. Well wishes for your mom.
I understand that she is terminally ill and this is her last wish. You definitely are in tough spot cause on one side it's happiness, and on the other side it's about a life issue.
I would suggest, that if you are happy with your fiance, then go ahead and fulfill your mother's wish.
In the long run, you will be really happy to have an extravagant wedding in which your MOM was present. You will have her in your photographs and in your wedding videos. You will have pleasant memories once you are past the difficult phase.
As difficult as it may sound - BE HAPPY - because EVERYONE has to go one day. Your mom feels that at least she knows when she will go and wants to prepare herself in her own ways.
Your mom, as she said it, that she wants to fulfill her last responsibility by seeing you married.. I think you should not deny her request.
My eyes are filled up - hope the best for you and your family.