Well, do you know all the events? I feel that many of the events and fun little traditions are instituted in order to break the ice between the families (and often the couple themselves). A lot of these involve the groom giving money to be allowed to be with the bride -- but it's all in fun and play. He usually comes prepared, knowing he'll have to put up.
There are the dholkis which are informal fun events in preparation for the Manja/Mayoon and Mehndi.
Manja/Mayoon
There is one for the bride and one for the groom. Traditionally, only the bride's side goes to the bride's and only the groom's side goes to the groom's. It's fairly informal and small because people are so comfortable with each other. It's sort of a chance for everyone to get together before the families merge and to do last minute things for the wedding, and dance and sing and such. The bride wears yellow -- partly because she is regularly exfoliated with "ubtan" which can stain clothes yellow. People go up to her, feed her sweets, wish her well. The singing and dancing is to prep for the competitions that will occur with the other side during the Mehndi.
Mehndi
Traditionally, although the groom's side would go to the bride's mehndi and the bride's side would go to the groom's, they wouldn't be at each others, because in many households they wouldn't be together until the wedding day. This isn't always the case any more. Anyway, it's a lot like the manja/mayoon but a little more formal because the "other side" is there and one side is the host for the other. This is most of the fun associated with desi weddings occurs. Bright colors dominate -- greens, oranges, and yellows in particular. The two sides compete in singing and dancing, trying to outdo each other throughout the evening. Often, the boys or the girls on each side wear matching dupattas to show whose side they are on.
The bride is brought out and fed sweets by the groom's side (or the groom is brought out and fed by the bride's side). The bride's face is often hidden because she won't show it until the wedding day, altho again I don't think this is the case as often any more.
For the mehdni, the visiting side decorates trays of mehndi with glitter and candles to bring for the host. Also, since the bride's side often gets the clothes for the groom and the groom's side gets the clothes for the bride, they pack and bring these gifts along with the mehndi (these used to be displayed, but I don't know that that really happens any more). For many brides this is the first time they see what they will wear on the wedding day!
Also, as one of the many ways the bride's side tortures the groom (for taking away their sis) during the wedding events, one of the bride's sisters/female cousins/friends grabs the groom's finger and wraps it in mehndi/henna. She refuses to let go until he puts up a sufficient amount of money. The longer she holds the deeper the stain from the mehndi on his finger. -- I guess that gives the bride and groom something to talk about later on, to help break the ice ;-).
Nikkah/Barat/Ruksati/Wedding day
Nikkah is the official marriage contract. Barat indicates the arrival of the groom's side. Ruksati is when the bride actually leaves with the groom. For various reasons, some people do not have the nikkah and ruksati on the same day, however I think most do.
In some families, the bride's side blocks the groom from coming in until he pays up.
Traditionally the bride wears red and the groom usually wears a sherwani or suit with a safa/pagri (hat thing, often with a fan). The bridal suit is some variation of a long flowy gown. A sharara is pretty much like a skirt. Or a gharara, which looks like a skirt but actually has two legs. The bride usually wears her dupatta on her head. She also has pretty heavy jewelry on, tikkah (on the forehead), jhummar (in her hair), natt (hoop in her nose -- that has a piece that connects to her hair, tho i don't know what it's called), necklace, earrings, bangles, anklets, rings, all of it. The bride also usually has elaborate mehndi on arms and legs.
After the nikkah the men come up to the groom and hug him and congratulate him.
In more traditional families, where perhaps the bride and groom haven't seen each other, the bride will come out after the nikkah with her face covered. When she is seated next to the groom, the couple will be covered and a mirror is placed between them so that they can look at each other for the first time in the mirror. After that the bride will usually show her face, and the couple is fed milk from the same glass (such intimacy!).
That's most of the excitement for the wedding. Dinner is really the most exciting event. Then there's the somber ruksati, as they leads the bride out with the groom. There are usually lots of tears. After the ruksati, the bride and groom are taken to their decorated room, lots of photos are taken.
Oh! Of course, the groom's side wants money too. So they block the groom from getting into his bedroom until he pays up. Usually the money is distributed amongst sisters and female cousins.
In our family we have the kheer chatai -- another way to break the ice. I've seen it done two different ways (the last more disturbing than the first).
1) kheer is placed in the bride's hand, in a spoon or for the kinkier ones, right on the hand itself. One of the groom's family members or friends holds her hand, and taunts the groom with it as he tries to take a taste.
2) same deal, but this time the groom competes with his brothers or male cousins to get a taste. Yah, that's weird.
I've also heard that for some, the bride's mehndi design incorporates the groom's name and he has to find it on the wedding night.
There's also the "moo dekhai" -- the gift the groom gives the bride on the wedding night after having finally seen her face.
Valima
A large formal dinner party thrown by the groom's side, traditionally in celebration of the consummation of the marriage. I don't think that anyone actually asks if they've had sex yet. They just throw the party a little bit after the wedding. Nothing terribly exciting here. Dominating colors are cool colors -- blues and purples.
After the main wedding functions described above, there are usually lots of dinner parties. One of these is the "chawti" that the bride's side has.
At either the wedding, valima, or the chawti, the bride's side sneaks about and tries to steal the groom's shoe (to keep him from leaving with the bride). Of course, they don't give it back until sufficiently paid :-).
PHEW
Aageh dauR, teh pecheh chauRR!
(although no apreaciated me earlier 
)
