My dad is poorly so can only hold down a part time job at the moment. So I probably have to pay for the wedding myself.
I come from a small family so probably have no more than 300 guests.
How much would you spend on a reasonable wedding? None of this extravagance you see nowadays but a nice wedding in a nice restaurant/hall.
A lady neighbour with 7 kids said it costs her £7-8k when her first children got married, now her youngestson who got married last month, it cost her £27k. How things have changed! £27k seems too much to me but they did have 1000 guests.
Decide about your priorities first. What are the things that are essential (you would regret if you don't do them), or those you can compromise on. Like maybe you can keep the decor simple and still get some decent photos or keep the dress on the lighter side. Categorize and see.
The biggest cost saver is a smaller guest list. You do not need to invite 300 people to your wedding - if can bring your guest list down to 100 or under, those are huge savings just there.
Combine events. Do a nikkah/mehndi together at home with a few guests and a small reception at a restaurant for 100 or fewer guests.
Or better yet, if you do a joint nikkah/mehndi and the rukhsati the same evening, you and your fiance could combine to have one reception instead of two.
All excellent ideas! I particularly love the one about prioritizing your planning to see which vendors you absolutely must invest in and which things can be done less elaborately.
IMHO, a great photographer is most important and worth the splurge. After all, those will be your memories.
Do you need a videographer? Not so much.
Is it necessary to have lavish decor, an expensive venue, and a huge buffet menu? Not so much, I think.
Is it important to have 300 guests- which is quite a bit- again, not so much. Like Sehrysh said, cutting back on guests is the top and best way of reducing costs, and making your spending go further. You can do a lot more within a decent budget for 100 guests than you can for 300.
Consider lots of candles instead of flowers for your centerpieces. Wear a beautiful dress that isn't made by a designer. Cut back on exchanging many gifts with your groom's family.
As for your neighbour who had 1000 guests and only paid 27k, AMAZING! How on earth did she manage that? A wedding that large in Toronto would easily be over $50,000.
I come from a small family so probably have no more than 300 guests.
I see this being your #1 issue. 300 guests is ridiculous if you dad is having financial problems and you're paying for the wedding yourself. This needs to cut down to like half. Stick with inviting family and close friends. When adding someone to the guest list, ask yourself do you really want to pay extra $$$ for that person's presence at your wedding.
A lady neighbour with 7 kids said it costs her £7-8k when her first children got married, now her youngestson who got married last month, it cost her £27k. How things have changed! £27k seems too much to me but they did have 1000 guests.
This seems like a VERY low amount for 1000 guests! Did you attend this wedding? Do you know which vendors were used by her?
I know people who managed to pay very little during their wedding here in the U.S. (or for certain major things) but it was usually b/c they knew the owners in chrage of the business (for example, knowing the owners of the restaurant doing the catering OR owners of the decor company), and got a deep discount in the price. But even then 27K seems unbelievable for 1000 guests (I assume the wedding took place in the UK?)
Don't buy designers. Get friends and family to help out on the events rather than staff (e.g. serving food/ setting up/ clearing up). You can wear artificial jewellery rather than real gold (I did on my wedding and know tonnes of brides who are doing it these days) Don't have expensive decorations on the day if you can get away without it e.g. chair covers, center pieces, fresh flowers. There's tonnes of ways you can make cut backs on your wedding.
All excellent ideas! I particularly love the one about prioritizing your planning to see which vendors you absolutely must invest in and which things can be done less elaborately.
IMHO, a great photographer is most important and worth the splurge. After all, those will be your memories.
Do you need a videographer? Not so much.
Is it necessary to have lavish decor, an expensive venue, and a huge buffet menu? Not so much, I think.
Is it important to have 300 guests- which is quite a bit- again, not so much. Like Sehrysh said, cutting back on guests is the top and best way of reducing costs, and making your spending go further. You can do a lot more within a decent budget for 100 guests than you can for 300.
Consider lots of candles instead of flowers for your centerpieces. Wear a beautiful dress that isn't made by a designer. Cut back on exchanging many gifts with your groom's family.
As for your neighbour who had 1000 guests and only paid 27k, AMAZING! *How on earth did she manage that? A wedding that large in Toronto would easily be over $50,000.
*
27K is in pounds which means about 42K in US dollars.
^ Even at $42K in the U.S…1000 people?! And that includes ALL costs such as bridal dress, jewelry, invitations, decor, food etc. etc. etc. Plus to find a venue that large that doesn’t have a Food & beverage minimum… It just seems unbelievable without some sort of MAJOR vendor hook up.
I think mine was less then 5K excluding hubby’s 4 day hotel stay in NYC as that’s expensive. You can read the details at http://www.paklinks.com/gs/wedding/612229-my-small-fat-pakistani-wedding.html
The most expensive item I can think of is the photographer as I wanted to have good pix for memories sake. Wish you best of luck for your upcoming wedding.
My only advise would be to try to relax and enjoy the experience despite the circumstances.
Its fine that you want to invite 20 close friends and their partner…but why do you need to invite their families too? Are you also very close friends with their parents/family members?
300 guests is still a good size wedding. I would recommend you limit your guest size to 100 and allow the groom the invite 100…compromise if one of you needs a few extra seats. Get the final guest count at 200. Just by cutting back 100 guests you’re saving 2000 (based on the hypothetical amount you wrote below)!
Look at the parts I bolded…can you guess what the MAJOR problem is with the total you came up? Photographer/videographers can range from 2000..all the way up to10,000+. Same with other vendors. Have you found a DJ for 500 and MU/hair vendor for 400?
The point I’m trying to make is that you need to stop guessing. Start looking up various vendors in your area and start making phone calls/sending e-mails. Call the restaurants that you would want to have the reception and talk to their event coordinator. Ask for pricing and what all is included in that pricing. That will give you a more realistic idea on how much it will cost you to have the wedding the way you want.
have a destination wedding…on a beach in Spain.
that’ll reduce the guest list significantly!!!
or find a mosque with a significant history and travel there to have your nikah performed by the imaam there…take along immediately family only…
the point is…get creative…do something so vastly different that not only does it become a memorable event, it allows you to avoid wasting money that you really don’t have.
Also, I’m not sure where you’re planning to get stuff from, but 500 pounds for artificial jewelry sounds like a lot. And I’m sure you can find a nice bridal outfit for under 1000 pounds. Unless of course there’s something you’ve got your heart set on already, then go for it if you can afford it.
I would say go for the "sophisticated look" with less kaam. If you don't go desinger you can get something nice with less kaam and get matching jewelry that is very light. That way jewelry should be 100 pounds or even less. Or ask someone to get something for you from Pakistan (they can snap pics from their mobile and show these to you before they buy). But this is assuming you can get someone to get something for you. Keep the Make up and hair artist a good one to achive a stylish look for less.
For £2000, you can get a designer lehenga. I'm sure you can get a way cheaper one that's just as nice. As for artificial jewellery, you can get a nice set for about £250. And is it really necessary to hire cars?
And that includes ALL costs such as bridal dress, jewelry, invitations, decor, food etc. etc. etc. Plus to find a venue that large that doesn’t have a Food & beverage minimum… 
It just seems unbelievable without some sort of MAJOR vendor hook up.
