…so i am in an initial state of engagement (not engaged yet, but the way things are going, i think i will be engaged soon INSHALLAH) the excitement haven’t started yet, i am already getting all those sad thoughts.
just few days ago i was talking to my father about college fees, and loan, and stuff, and he told me not to worry about paying for college, he will pay for me if i can’t afford it anymore, when he said that i felt so good and secured, but today when i was thinking that when i will get married he won’t be responsible for paying for my college (just not financially responsible for me in general) i felt so bad and almost unsecured.
i hope my future husband would be a good guy, but just the thought that my father’s support wouldn’t be the same after marriage is making me cry already (i am not even officially engaged yet)
did anyone else feel the same? did those feeling stayed or went away with time.
Re: wedding blues :(
Aww. Come'on yar, you should be only have happy and positive thoughts on your way to starting a new life :) I have read your earlier threads about rishta issues but see now it is happening IA because there is right time for everything so you should be satisfied. Allah will take care of other things too not saying just sit idle but don't stress over it.
Re: wedding blues :(
I can understand ur wedding blues, I am gettin married in july and a part of me is so so so depressed! If i had a choice i wod never ever want to leave my mom n dad, they are the best!! but We are all raised by amazing parents, n we too have to be parents some day, so we can teach our children what our parents taught us. So our parents can live thru our children. So Smile n make ur parents proud! :)
Re: wedding blues 
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Re: wedding blues :(
Finances can be a very tricky subject. Out of everything that us women have to 'adjust' to this is another big one that most people either dont like to talk about or assume shouldnt be a big deal.
Its the way of the world that you go from depending on your father to your husband. No big deal! Well thats usually easier said then done. I know exactly how youre feeling as it was one of the more difficult things that I had to deal with when I got married. I can only imagine how unsettling the situation would be especially when you dont know your husband-to-be's personality.
First of all although you should definately stay positive and Inshallah things WILL work out, I think that women like us should claim some responsibility for ourselves. I strongly believe that financial independance is important for women. Money means security (emotional and physical). Now that doesnt mean getting a job nessecarily (esp. since youre still in college). But you can open a personal account and set aside a little bit of money from whatever pocket money father gives you and eventually whatever your husband will. At least you'll have the peace of mind knowing that you have a nest egg and youre not completly dependant on the generousity of someone else.
Secondly even though your father has had this conversation with you, you should realize that he's simply preparing you for whats to come so that your expectations are adjusted. I'm sure no matter what you will always have your fathers support!!
Its scary and its unnerving and from personal experience I can tell you that these feelings are normal. They dont just go away... you have to live with them... and rather than pushing them under the rug you should take the opportunity to gain some independance for yourself!
Best of Luck with everything xx
Re: wedding blues :(
pay your own loans. if ou always had that thought in your head, you wouldn't feel "unsecured"