Wedding and Marriage..

Lifestyle Relationships
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These two terms are not interchangeable, they are two different things to me.

A marriage is the relationship..its never ending (hopefully) and it needs constant work to succeed..

A wedding is the actual function..

Thinking abt a conversation I had wiht someone today, do you ppl think that the way someone’s wedding is–be it simple or elaborate and if it goes smoothly or if everything imagineable goes wrong–is indicative of how the actual relationshpi will turn out? or is it all just myth?

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Re: Wedding and Marriage..

It would be very unwise to think that a simple wedding doesn't lead to a good relationship between a couple or vice versa. In my personal opinion, even the haq mehr doesn't determine how your marital life would be meaning the higher amount of haq mehr doesn't guarantee a secured relationship and vice versa as well.

I, personally, don't want an extravagant rukhsati and neither did I have a very fancy shimancy nikkah ceremony,,, it was all personal and family oriented. At the end of the day it depends on the couple how successful their relationship is rather than how much did their parents spend on the wedding!

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Re: Wedding and Marriage..

what happens at a wedding shouldnt be a reflection of anyones marriage...

things can go horribly wrong, but they arent always intended... hence if you try to forget the silly things that do happen on a wedding and look forward to ur marriage, then its all good..

however, a marriage is a very very delicate thing (not that weddings arent) but u really need to work on marriage.. it needs at least 200% attention from u.. every good marriage needs that much... and noone should expect their marriage to be without any bumps.. cus these things are inevitable... we can try our very very best for bad things not to happen, but sometimes they just do.. but we just have to be mature about it, and try to deal with things as best as we can...

if ur having issues... dont think its the end of it all.. it isnt.. its just a lil hurdle that will help u get stronger, Inshallah :)

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Re: Wedding and Marriage..

Gtg, sadzzz, the way I see it, you have hte rest of your life to “work on” your marriage and no relationship is perfect and w/o its hurdles or arguments…and i personally believe the actual wedding function itssefl has no indication as to how the marriage will be..

you only get married once,.why not have it the way you want, whether it be simple or fancy. Why is it a “simple” wedding will have more blessings and the couple last longer and have a happier union than someone who has a fancy/expensive wedding? My friend said to me that if i put enough energy into my own relationship as I did into thinking abt the wedding then ill have a happy marriage and i kinda resented that coz she only sees the “bridezilla” side of me.:naraz: I don’t think it matters what kind of wedding you have, if you work hard at it and, yes, if it’s meant to be, it will last as long as its meant to..

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u know weddings r soooo stressful.....first of all ur trying to arrange something with a completely different family...convincing them to do certain things....then u have to try to convince ur own parents to do things the way u want them to be done....oh god i am glad its over with. The best thing to do is to pray and ask allah for everything he is the guider and will help. Just tell ur parents what u want....try to compromise. One thing is things don't work out 100% the way u want....I learned that when I got married too. And there are always positives and negatives in a wedding...doesn't mean that the wedding is going to shape ur relationship for the rest of ur life....u and ur husband will make the relationship work.....wedding is just a function.

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Re: Wedding and Marriage..

The wedding day is really important before you get married--you take all this time to plan/perfect everything. After the day is over, you'll come to realize that having the perfect function is wonderful to look back on but has nothing to do with the marriage part of it. I hope that makes sense? My point is that the wedding is only one day (and it usually never goes as exactly planned), but your marriage is what you will be living day in and day out. Focus on building a strong relationship with your fiance.

And another thing, have your dream wedding, but don't go into debt for it. I know too many people who have regrets going into thousands of dollars of debt just for their wedding.

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Re: Wedding and Marriage..

SARA!!! Thank you for assuring me that I’m not the only idiot bothered by the interchanging use of the two words by desis. When my brother got married in March, people kept referring to his wedding as his ‘marriage’. “yes yes, we will come to his marriage” and i’m chuckling to myself thinking what it would really be like to go to someone’s marriage, picture husband and wife waking up in the morning in their bed, and the guest is right there in the middle, they have breakfast and the guest is sitting at the table with them, he’s always with them like a chipkoo little fella.

Anyway, maybe I’m insane because I think stupid things are funny.

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Re: Wedding and Marriage..

haha I think that was the whole cause of the lecture/confusion yesterday.. wedding n mariage r two different things, desis think its the same :smack:

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Re: Wedding and Marriage..

so true so true. but the thing is they have one word "shadi" for it in the urdu language. thus shaadi is used to refer to both.

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:what:on the other hand, there’s always :google:

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^ I know ure tempted to say what u really wanna say :smilestar:

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...and that would be?

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"NOT ANOTHER SHADI THREAD!"

:)

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^ exactly.

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Do you have anything to contribute than? Before this thread gets pushed to cafe or locked for whatever reason :mad:

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Re: Wedding and Marriage..

Okay, okay...my contribution lies at.

A marriage is the relationship.....CORRECT!
A wedding is the actual function.....CORRECT AGAIN!

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ehm*...^agreed

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Re: Wedding and Marriage..

Its just a myth, but then you have people who believe on myth, and people who believed that nothing should go wrong in their "wedding" and cared less about the relationship.
I dont know but , I have realized that girls are more worried about the wedding aspects and less worried about the relationship. We had a wedding like that in our family, both te bride and groom were gung ho about their dress, pictorial, cake, reception and arrangements but didnt count the relation ship, you can guess what happened.
I think its a blessing to have a relationship and a wedding all under the same roof in todays time.

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Re: Wedding and Marriage..

I dont think that just because they're worried about wedding that they will care less about the relationship. Being gung-ho about the dress, pictures, cake and stuff, that doesn't mean that the relationship was doomed from the start.

Also I think in arranged marriages, the two really aren't in any position to work on a relationship are they? All they have is the function, and then the true relationship will come after the wedding and for the rest of thier life.

A relationship definitely needs work but that doesnt mean that one should not care about the function as well.

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hmmmm